Hi Blue Sea, welcome to TP. On here you can get all your feelings out and share them, no matter if they are happy, sad or whatever. I do hope you find us useful. Sounds as if the staff are lovely in your Dads home, so glad. Try not to let it get to you, he was obviously very hard work so you had no choice. You did the best you possibly could and a home was the only answer. You gave it a go at home with him first, so if it wasn't working out, it had to be 24/7 care. It hurts I know, but he is safe and as you say, they are very good to him. If you are visiting several times a week already, you have more than fulfilled any obligation. You do have a right to a life of your own my love. I am sure your Dad would say the same. Keep posting, love She. XX