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Instant help

Kcaj26

New member
Aug 17, 2019
3
Hi all, just looking for some advice as feel slightly clueless. A family member of mine has dementia, still lives at home with with her partner who is in this late 80’s. To put it politely she is out of control. Her husband has now accepted that he can no longer cope, they have had visits from social services etc but nothing seems to be happening quick enough. Has anyone been in a similar situation where they have just decided one day they can no longer cope and something has happened instantly. Thanks
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,553
N Ireland
Hello @Kcaj26 you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

I think a first step is to contact SS to ask for emergency respite due to carer burnout. Remind them that it is they who have the legal duty of care towards the person with the dementia, and the other vulnerable adult, the carer.

I hope you have time to take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc., if any of that hasn't already been done.

Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,553
N Ireland
By the way, If you want to talk it through with anyone the experts on the help line can be good, details as follows

National Dementia Helpline
0300 222 11 22
Our helpline advisers are here for you.
Helpline opening hours:
Monday to Wednesday 9am – 8pm
Thursday and Friday 9am – 5pm
Saturday and Sunday 10am – 4pm


Live on-line advice is also available in the UK and you can see the details of that if you follow this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/national-dementia-helpline/live-online-advice
 

BluTinks

Registered User
Dec 7, 2018
43
Yes my mother was taken away as I couldn’t cope anymore . I no longer know where she is but unofficially know she is in a home, SS have removed LPA’s & have put deputy in place
 

Rosserk

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
398
Yes my mother was taken away as I couldn’t cope anymore . I no longer know where she is but unofficially know she is in a home, SS have removed LPA’s & have put deputy in place

Hi why was LPA removed? Did you have LPA? I am in the same situation. I am at the end of my tether and think there will come a time when my mother has to go into care. Does that mean I will lose Power of attorney?
 

Kcaj26

New member
Aug 17, 2019
3
Yes my mother was taken away as I couldn’t cope anymore . I no longer know where she is but unofficially know she is in a home, SS have removed LPA’s & have put deputy in place

Sorry to hear that, is there a reason you don’t officially know where she is? Are you able to visit her at all
 

Kcaj26

New member
Aug 17, 2019
3
Hello @Kcaj26 you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

I think a first step is to contact SS to ask for emergency respite due to carer burnout. Remind them that it is they who have the legal duty of care towards the person with the dementia, and the other vulnerable adult, the carer.

I hope you have time to take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take
You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc., if any of that hasn't already been done.

Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
That’s great thank you so much for your advice, I shall give it a go
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,859
South coast
Hi why was LPA removed? Did you have LPA? I am in the same situation. I am at the end of my tether and think there will come a time when my mother has to go into care. Does that mean I will lose Power of attorney?
No, you do not lose POA when someone moves into a care home.

I remember blutinks posting about this and I think you will find that the circumstances are quite unusual.
 

BluTinks

Registered User
Dec 7, 2018
43
Hi why was LPA removed? Did you have LPA? I am in the same situation. I am at the end of my tether and think there will come a time when my mother has to go into care. Does that mean I will lose Power of attorney?
Hi I think mum’s social worker persuaded mum as she was still deemed to have enough capacity to change her mind