1. Kcaj26

    Kcaj26 New member

    Aug 17, 2019
    3
    Hi all, just looking for some advice as feel slightly clueless. A family member of mine has dementia, still lives at home with with her partner who is in this late 80’s. To put it politely she is out of control. Her husband has now accepted that he can no longer cope, they have had visits from social services etc but nothing seems to be happening quick enough. Has anyone been in a similar situation where they have just decided one day they can no longer cope and something has happened instantly. Thanks
     
  2. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    4,911
    N Ireland
    Hello @Kcaj26 you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

    I think a first step is to contact SS to ask for emergency respite due to carer burnout. Remind them that it is they who have the legal duty of care towards the person with the dementia, and the other vulnerable adult, the carer.

    I hope you have time to take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

    You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc., if any of that hasn't already been done.

    Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
     
  3. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    4,911
    N Ireland
    By the way, If you want to talk it through with anyone the experts on the help line can be good, details as follows

    National Dementia Helpline
    0300 222 11 22
    Our helpline advisers are here for you.
    Helpline opening hours:
    Monday to Wednesday 9am – 8pm
    Thursday and Friday 9am – 5pm
    Saturday and Sunday 10am – 4pm


    Live on-line advice is also available in the UK and you can see the details of that if you follow this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/national-dementia-helpline/live-online-advice
     
  4. BluTinks

    BluTinks Registered User

    Dec 7, 2018
    42
    Yes my mother was taken away as I couldn’t cope anymore . I no longer know where she is but unofficially know she is in a home, SS have removed LPA’s & have put deputy in place
     
  5. Rosserk

    Rosserk Registered User

    Jul 9, 2019
    199

    Hi why was LPA removed? Did you have LPA? I am in the same situation. I am at the end of my tether and think there will come a time when my mother has to go into care. Does that mean I will lose Power of attorney?
     
  6. Kcaj26

    Kcaj26 New member

    Aug 17, 2019
    3

    Sorry to hear that, is there a reason you don’t officially know where she is? Are you able to visit her at all
     
  7. Kcaj26

    Kcaj26 New member

    Aug 17, 2019
    3
    That’s great thank you so much for your advice, I shall give it a go
     
  8. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,503
    Female
    South coast
    No, you do not lose POA when someone moves into a care home.

    I remember blutinks posting about this and I think you will find that the circumstances are quite unusual.
     
  9. BluTinks

    BluTinks Registered User

    Dec 7, 2018
    42
    Hi I think mum’s social worker persuaded mum as she was still deemed to have enough capacity to change her mind
     

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