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'Informal' care arrangements - too risky?


Registered User
Dec 26, 2015
Hi all,

Because of my mother's background and lack of a decent grasp of English, I am currently utilising a care agency which provides a carer who, fortunately, speaks one of mum's languages. This is so far working reasonably well. Today I was due to be taking mum for a day to the nice home I have identified (they also offer day care), but sadly she refused to go and to be honest after a rather wearing evening yesterday, I felt too grotty myself to get up early enough to take her. I don't think the day care is going to work (though there are carers there who speak her language too!).

I'm now wondering if I might be lucky enough to find someone in the local area who speaks mum's first language, who might be able to help us on an informal basis. By informal, I mean on an ad hoc basis, without me formally employing them. Has anyone ventured down this route? Would I be daft to even consider it? The problem I have is that the language is key - it makes such a difference as mum is at least able to converse properly with the carer. Finding a care agency who have employee's with mum's first language is hard, but I'm pretty sure there are people living in this area who would be only too happy to be paid to sit with her, but who are not officially 'carers'.

I was really hoping day care would be a 'mid way house' for me between me looking after her at home, and the future point at which I will have to seriously consider full time care. I guess I can still try to persevere with the day care, but it's going to be hard to get her there. Really frustrating, as this would have really helped give me some decent, weekly respite.

There's nothing easy about this at all, whichever way I turn!


Registered User
May 21, 2014
Why don't you ask Age UK whether they have a sitter that speaks your mother's language? I would be very weary of paying a random person without any documented dementia training or other background checks to sit with a loved one. How do you know they are reliable?
I would also persevere with day care.


Registered User
Feb 19, 2012
East Yorkshire UK
Look at doing it through direct payments and social care - it would be more formal but sometimes there are agencies who can help with the formalities. It would be worth trying the daycare if you can summon enough energy - then at least you know.


Registered User
Feb 19, 2012
East Yorkshire UK
Or if you identify someone you might be able to persuade the agency you use to employ them if both carer and agency are happy with that? Have come across this before. Sorry, thinking on the hoof!


Registered User
Mar 26, 2014
Hello marnie63 . I did employ someone to care for my mum and paid her myself . However when I enquired about receiving direct payment everything has to be legal and above board . I employ a company who pay the wages , sort out tax and insurance and indemnity insurance . I would recommend going down this rate and would be happy to let you know anything else if you want to private message me I can let you know the agency etc . I am absolutely delighted with my mums personal assistant and know I definitely made the right choice . Best wishes . Lou

Karina A

Registered User
Jan 30, 2016
Hi Louby
I am in a similar situation although language is not our challenge. I would begrateful of the details for the company you mention but am not able to pm yet.
Sending this post to add to my "10" posts.
The informal care arrangements is a difficult one, i am struggling with myself.

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