Hello everyone...can anyone offer some advice?
My partner's father, who is in the moderate stages of Alzheimer's, has recently become more verbally aggressive and agitated, particularly when it comes to money. He has been going into his local bank and solicitors ( they live in a small town) and demanding large sums and causing a scene when he is refused. My partner, his sister and their mother all now have enduring power of attorney. He has also been aggressively challenging my partner's mum for thousands of pounds. We don't know what he wants to do with the money - perhaps he just wants it where he can see it, so he knows it's there - you understand? He was an accountant and brilliant with figures and number crunching, and we think he is still playing out this financial role. The difficulty is in trying to deter/placate him. Should they write him a cheque for some of the amount that he can put into a bank account that he can draw from, but that has a low withdrawal limit? Surely he will just continue to ask for large amounts? He has already cashed in shares ( we cannot believe he was allowed to do this) that the family will now have to pay capital gains tax on - money that may be needed for future care.
How can we reason with him?
My partner's mother has also encountered inconsistency within the NHS care offered to them. After the latest incident at the bank, it was decided together with a psychiatrist and social worker, both of whom had not met the family before, and the GP that he would be taken to hospital under section 2. When they got there they were greeted by an agency nurse who had never worked there before and although he was kind, he did not do enough to dispel any fears/worries/anxieties or answer any questions my partners mother had. She felt that it SO wasn't the right place and had the section revoked and took him home.
It is just that she is finding it increasingly hard to cope with his unpredictable behaviour. I think she feels so alone as we live quite far away. I will endeavour to get her to log on to your forum. Reading some of the threads has been heartbreaking but also uplifting and inspiring. Any advice for us?
Many thanks for listening xxxx
My partner's father, who is in the moderate stages of Alzheimer's, has recently become more verbally aggressive and agitated, particularly when it comes to money. He has been going into his local bank and solicitors ( they live in a small town) and demanding large sums and causing a scene when he is refused. My partner, his sister and their mother all now have enduring power of attorney. He has also been aggressively challenging my partner's mum for thousands of pounds. We don't know what he wants to do with the money - perhaps he just wants it where he can see it, so he knows it's there - you understand? He was an accountant and brilliant with figures and number crunching, and we think he is still playing out this financial role. The difficulty is in trying to deter/placate him. Should they write him a cheque for some of the amount that he can put into a bank account that he can draw from, but that has a low withdrawal limit? Surely he will just continue to ask for large amounts? He has already cashed in shares ( we cannot believe he was allowed to do this) that the family will now have to pay capital gains tax on - money that may be needed for future care.
How can we reason with him?
My partner's mother has also encountered inconsistency within the NHS care offered to them. After the latest incident at the bank, it was decided together with a psychiatrist and social worker, both of whom had not met the family before, and the GP that he would be taken to hospital under section 2. When they got there they were greeted by an agency nurse who had never worked there before and although he was kind, he did not do enough to dispel any fears/worries/anxieties or answer any questions my partners mother had. She felt that it SO wasn't the right place and had the section revoked and took him home.
It is just that she is finding it increasingly hard to cope with his unpredictable behaviour. I think she feels so alone as we live quite far away. I will endeavour to get her to log on to your forum. Reading some of the threads has been heartbreaking but also uplifting and inspiring. Any advice for us?
Many thanks for listening xxxx