1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    1,578
    Female
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    I know any type of infection , especially a UTI can bring on sudden confusion or worsening behaviour, but how can I tell (at this stage) if Mums is just due to being overwhelmed with family birthdays, Christmas etc

    Mum has already said to me twice that "Christmas" is too much for her brain.
    Mum has already lost concept of time, days, weeks, dates etc
    Now even the date December 25th means nothing to her really.

    It is my sisters & Dads birthdays today which she did remember to buy cards, ( although she got Dad a "Happy Birthday Father" ) but when at my sisters for lunch she said that no one told her it was Christmas.
    Angry that we were all going to my sisters for Christmas dinner, that she hadn't been invited, and that she never gets invited anywhere for Christmas dinner, and we always leave her out.

    On going home, my sister was putting things in the boot of her car, which is a range rover style where the boot is like a door that opens out, and Mum went to climb in the boot :eek:

    Just seems like bizarre behaviour, and sudden confusion about Christmas and all the family traditions.
     
  2. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    #2 sleepless, Dec 20, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2015
    This could of course be further progression of your mum's condition, but I do remember that my late mum became very confused and worried about Christmas, the cards, gifts, arrangements etc were just too much for her to cope with. Trying to process all this extra information could overwhelm her and lead to confusion about the car door etc.
     
  3. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    1,578
    Female
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    Thanks Sleepless. I think I was just wanting to hear someone, confirming what I feel to be the case.
     
  4. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    4,296
    SW London
    Even before her dementia became anything like bad, my mother too became very anxious and worried about Christmas. I would just tell her in very soothing tones that I would buy all her presents and wrap them up for her - she would be very relieved but of course would then forget so I would have to tell her again.
    I would also buy her cards - she had always ordered them from a charity for the blind so I would do the same - and address all the envelopes and post them for her. All she had to do then - we would sit at the table together - was write Love from Rita inside. It was a few years before even this became too much for her.

    Whenever she became anxious about things - not just Christmas, she had always been a worrier - I would tell her there was absolutely nothing to worry about, we were seeing to everything for her. This did usually work in the short term.
     
  5. Selinacroft

    Selinacroft Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    937
    Hi Linbrusco
    This is the first Christmas I've done everything for Dad, Written all his cards, envelopes and posted them, bought my presents from him, wrapped them and did labels to myself from dad. I did it in front of him so he was involved. Yesterday he said, "isn't Christmas over yet?, it's been dragging on for ages"
    I've found him trying to turn lights off with the TV remote and turn the tv off with fire knobs. Sounds like they are at similar levels of confusion.
     
  6. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,739
    My Mum used to get really really stressy around Christmas and it was because she worried - she had spent more than 75 Christmas's being a part of everything (she was 91) and organising and sorting and shopping and suddenly not only was she not part of it (she felt) but she couldn't remember things and realised she actually couldn't manage it. The more stressed she got the more bizarre her behaviour got so we did everything together - cards, presents etc etc and then a bit later in I did everything but included her in the things like wrapping a present, sticking the envelopes on cards, she always put the angel on top of the tree and we had a tree decorating afternoon, and so the day arrived and she was not stressed and everything had been done and she just enjoyed being the matriarch. There is always some contribution someone can make however small and none of us want to feel left out (even if we haven't been and our memory has let us down.....again!!!!)

    I think you are right and it is the stress of this time of year! Take care xxx
     

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