1. Loisand

    Loisand Registered User

    Dec 25, 2017
    121
    I expect this has been dealt with previously, but am looking for help in how to deal with this new stage of moms dementia....over the last couple of weeks she has become doubly incontinent, I can deal with the overnight wet beds, I thought I had the daytime part solved by keep reminding mom to go to loo, but I cannot solve the mucky pad syndrome, this usually happens just before or after eating, and I don't mind admitting that I go so very green, how else can I tell mom it's loo time, how can I stop her getting it all over her hands on the floor and in her nails, this is part of dementia I really do have a problem with
     
  2. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,140
    All my sympathy. The poo under the nails and poo hands is so much part of dementia. I kept a little wicker basket with me at all times containing:
    kitchen roll
    hygiene gloves
    baby wipes
    bags for soiled things
    So I was ready immediately I had to be. Which was often.
    It is no solution but it helped me contain the problem a bit.
    all thoughts and sympathy, Geraldine aka kindred.
     
  3. Andrew_McP

    Andrew_McP Registered User

    Mar 2, 2016
    153
    Male
    South Northwest
    Miserable, isn't it. Urine is (or at least becomes) easy to deal with, but I something think I live in a state of constant faeces fear... when will it happen, will Mum let me sort her out without making it worse, and when will I fail and end up -- like now -- in UTI hell.

    My mother always seems to pass motion while wandering around the house, but I have a really bad record detecting it, because she's always wandering about. I'm sure sometimes she doesn't even know she's doing it herself! But early detection is critical and I have to rely on my nose for that, or simply multiple trips to the loo per hour, if Mum will tolerate it. Which she usually won't.

    Switching from supermarket brand to Tena pull-ups definitely helped keep things contained, and as long as Mum doesn't sit, cleaning isn't too arduous (if she's cooperative!) but the only way I avoid poo in places poo shouldn't be is constant vigilance. It's wearing, and I'm aware of what Mum's doing right now even as I type, but it's better than the alternative.

    However I have antibacterial hand gel, tissues, wet wipes, rubber gloves (sometimes I even bother putting them on!) and decent sized waste bags stashed everywhere, so I can always clean and disinfect as quickly as possible. I work on the principle that the messier things are, the quicker I get the antibacterial gel into action. It converts poo into sterile mud in my imagination at least. And I have treated us to overpriced air freshener that smells nice rather than the cheap stuff that merely masks odour. I didn't used to be a fan of chemical disguises, but I've persuaded myself it's cheap aromatherapy and worth every penny.

    Not sure any of this helps. The bottom line (ho, ho, ho) is that you have to find a switch in your brain that can flick off your desire to avoid poo and to waste the world's resources. Use as many nasty, destructive plastic wipes as you need, and just get stuck in... it gets worse the more you think about it, so try not to think about what you're doing.

    So easy to say! And try to have a reward lined up for yourself afterwards. A special pack of biscuits at the back of the cupboard (doesn't work for me, if I buy biscuits I eat biscuits) or a shot of sherry or a chapter of a favourite book, or... you get the idea. These days the only reward I need is the fact it's all over and I can sit down an relax for a while. It's the old beating your head against a brick wall thing... just stopping becomes all the reward you need.

    Mmm... I'm really selling this personal care thing aren't I. Remind me again why folk go into care homes? :)

    Anyway, as you can tell, I haven't the foggiest idea how to avoid the problem other than very regular trips to the loo. I'm even considering finding a padded loo seat so that Mum's more comfortable on our regular and sometimes very long visits. But I have a feeling I'll be setting myself up for another cleaning problem even if such a germ-trap exists.

    Oh, and I've got into the habit of cutting Mum's nails any time she'll accept it, not just when they need doing. I don't cut them back so short she might be uncomfortable, but I get as close as possible as often as possible.

    Good luck.

    PS I also distract myself by trying to find rhymes and songs to insert the word 'poo' into. It's not much of a hobby, but it keeps me amused. My current favourite is: Poo, Poo, Barney McPoo, Cuthbert, Dribble and Grub... It's time for Trumpton! (And it usually is). Windy Miller's theme from Camberwick Green is also often appropriate.
     
  4. Loisand

    Loisand Registered User

    Dec 25, 2017
    121
    Thank you Geraldine aka Kindred, I have all those things in every room, it's the smell that turns my stomach, hey ho, it's not going to get better, thank you xx
     
  5. Loisand

    Loisand Registered User

    Dec 25, 2017
    121
    Ahh thank you, you have made me chuckle with your theme from Camberwick Green, in fact just after I had read your reply we had a poohy pad and I couldn't get your theme out of my head!!!
    I'm going to try the cut finger nails, never thought of that, I do but expensive and good make air fresheners, then go and have a good smell of them when I've finished cleaning mom up, every one else glue sniffs etc, me I'm getting addicted to air fresheners, it's funny how you have your favourite ones as well.
    Good luck to you as well, thank you x
     
  6. witts1973

    witts1973 Registered User

    Jun 20, 2018
    634
    Male
    Leamington Spa

    Hi this might not directly answer the question you have asked but have you been in touch with the continence team by referral by mums GP,as they will prescribe suitable pads for you and they will be free of charge and delivered each month,also the doctor can prescribe a barrier cream to protect the skin and a wash product to help clean parts such as Pro shield foam and spray cleaner which removes smell too,Aldi or Lidl sell good packs of wipes £1.95 for 4 packs,you can also buy disposable bed pads,I buy them 100 at a time 60x90 cm to place under mum in her hospital bed,I get them from Ebay https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Readi-Di...hash=item1a3bb25ecd:m:ms2J_jwm3VJD6FD0AuM4uCQ
    They are the best quality ones weve had,as for the creams the GP is only to happy to prescribe to keep the skin in good condition

    I always feel for people going through this,I know it's hard,best wishes for the future.
     
  7. Loisand

    Loisand Registered User

    Dec 25, 2017
    121
    Thank you for that information, yes we are with the nurse, so yes we get pads free per month, the only trouble is on that one is she said that mom didn't warrant a number 3 pad, which is what I was buying, but we do get them free. I didn't think to ask the gp for cream etc, so will phone them tomorrow, yes already get wet wipes from Aldi, good value for money, am going to check out the disposable bed stuff now, so a big thank you for pointing me in right direction, I have to admit I feel like widow Twanky with the constant washing, thank goodness I'm in the era of automatic washing machines x
     
  8. witts1973

    witts1973 Registered User

    Jun 20, 2018
    634
    Male
    Leamington Spa
    #8 witts1973, Jul 14, 2019
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2019
    Bless you keep your chin up

    My mum had sore parts on her vagina from urine and it took months and months of creams being prescribed until a district nurse asked what her wash routine was like down there,I said apart from the carers washing her in the morning down below quickly I didn't think much was done at the other care visits when her pad was being changed,she then asked me to go and buy a product called Tena wash cream and said it would be better in 2 days and it was,it's now used every day,it's non rinse and you don't entirely remove it all, a thin layer is left on and that provides it's own protective environment,mum was in so much pain every time the urine hit those parts and with the chafing,the GP will prescribe that too or you can buy it cheaper but in an aerosol called Tena Mousse she has Conti large dry wipes for it's application https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/5-x-Cont...862373&hash=item3a8acc8737:g:UC8AAOSw8elZeLO6 I just thought I would mention it so if that happens in the future you can help that problem

    https://www.incontinenceshop.com/te...zBgM6RMuoXygmxL7frDl0skF3pGRPGj4aAsdTEALw_wcB
    https://www.incontinenceshop.com/te...yu9ipVBB85me0k6dtSGY4tgbGG9JFpBIaAmUeEALw_wcB
     
  9. Andrew_McP

    Andrew_McP Registered User

    Mar 2, 2016
    153
    Male
    South Northwest
    Look like there's an unofficial Aldi wipe club I didn't know about. Count me in too. I've tried just about everything, but the Aldi wipes seem to be the best in size and value. I like Aldi, mainly because it's the shop I have the budget for, but it's not convenient for me to get to regularly for a main shop, so I make a special trip just to pick up a load of their chocolate coated rice cakes and as many wipes as I can carry home.

    I know there are a few marvellous folk here who make great efforts to avoid plasticised wipes, and I've tried to live a pretty eco life too (never driven or flown, for example). But I need all the help I can get now and I can live with adding to landfill or incinerator workloads.

    I'm more worried about the disposable pull-ups actually, especially at the rate we've got through them this week. Used a whole pack on Thursday. I hardly dare answer the door any more in case it's a Greenpeace hit squad come to stage a protest!
     
  10. witts1973

    witts1973 Registered User

    Jun 20, 2018
    634
    Male
    Leamington Spa
    I wish our Aldi was nearer it's a great shop,I like their 85% cocoa Mosen Roth dark chocolate it's amazing.

    If your throwing out masses of pads and you struggle for room in your bin you can ask for a larger or additional refuse bin,that's what I did for mum
     
  11. Loisand

    Loisand Registered User

    Dec 25, 2017
    121
    I didn't know you could ask for a larger or additional bin, moms only gets emptied every fortnight, so with normal rubbish plus all the pads it's always over filled, another phone call on my list for tomorrow, thank you x
     
  12. Loisand

    Loisand Registered User

    Dec 25, 2017
    121
    Gosh you sure had a busy day Thursday.....a whole pack....at least you can brighten up someone's poohy day by being frightened answering door in case of Greenpeace....Thank you for the chuckles today, they didn't get rid of my headache (real headache) even tablets haven't done that, but you have put a smile on my face x
     
  13. Loisand

    Loisand Registered User

    Dec 25, 2017
    121
    That's brilliant, like you the carers only wash mom of a morning, nightime it's just a wet wipe, will get some of that to, gosh my to do list is getting longer and longer, thank you so much for sharing all your tips xx
     
  14. witts1973

    witts1973 Registered User

    Jun 20, 2018
    634
    Male
    Leamington Spa
    Yes I had to stand inside the bin to compact it before I read about them providing them for people with huge amounts of saintary ware,our LA said you can have a larger bin or another one of the same size,I looked on the council website under refuse to see how big the larger bin was in litres and worked out it gave more volume by having 2 of the size that we already had
     
  15. Loisand

    Loisand Registered User

    Dec 25, 2017
    121
    Well I phoned LA today, can't have an additional bin but they will come out and assess to see if I can have a larger bin, fingers crossed that I can get a bigger one, thank you x
     
  16. Marnie63

    Marnie63 Registered User

    Dec 26, 2015
    1,576
    Hampshire
    I hate wasting stuff and I try to do my 'green' bit, but when I was looking after mum and dealing with incontinence, all of that went out of the window, I'm afraid. I used as many wet wipes as it took, when I had to. The worst was when mum had a case of diarrhoea, most often nowhere near a carer call, so sometimes it would take me a good hour of rolling her from side to side, cleaning it all up, cleaning her up and gathering up all the waste and wipes. My goodness, when I think about it now, I wonder how I coped, but I did. I feel for anyone still at it, I know exactly how hard it is. Fortunately the smells, poo, etc., did not seem to bother me, not nice, but I just got on with it and got used to it too.

    My local council provided an extra bin - I had to fill in a form to say why it was needed (I can't remember if it needed a GP signature or not, I don't think so, I think they just took my word for it) and I had to pay for it too! Still got it and don't need it, but am not giving it back yet (surprise, surprise, there's no refund if you return it!).

    Stay strong folks. The incontinence was by far the hardest issue for us at the end of mum's life, more so the urine incontinence because of all the leakages.

    I did used to feel sorry for the guys who collected and emptied the bins - ours did not smell nice after two weeks!
     
  17. witts1973

    witts1973 Registered User

    Jun 20, 2018
    634
    Male
    Leamington Spa

    Hi that's good,another thing I was thinking of with regards to your mom,have you had any visits from the community nurse yet,I can't quite remember how we first got in the loop with them but I found them helpful and if I rang them they would ring or visit later that day or the next day which at times gave me great reassurance just being able to run things past them if I had any worries about mum,they actively asked me to ring when ever I wanted if I needed any advice and they were always happy to help and this was great particularly in the evenings or weekends when you couldn't get hold of a doctor,also they would check to see if we needed anything to make mum more comfortable and to prevent sores,the last time they came they replaced a pressure cushion on mums chair with a large inflatable Repose contur cushion that covered the complete chair back, bum and leg areas,they also sourced Invacare gel heel pads taht you place on the bed under the heels to help prevent pressure sores x
     
  18. Loisand

    Loisand Registered User

    Dec 25, 2017
    121
    When I have my few hours of this week I'm going to get some of those stick on air fresheners for the bin, am hoping that might help me with the smell, the carers always know when I've had a poohy day, I must look awful when they get here, they just say "green day is it" and smile bless them xx
     
  19. Loisand

    Loisand Registered User

    Dec 25, 2017
    121
    Hi we saw the community nurse about 4 weeks ago, to cut a long story short mom broke her hip in February, was released from hospital in March, since then district nurse is coming in to look at an on going heel sore from when she was in hospital, community nurse is arranging physio for her, I have hospital bed with the airflow mattress, and the cushion for the chair, have got the silicone heel pads, and them big boots, and I have drummed it into my head to remind remind remind her to use the loo at 2 hour intervals from today!!! I feel quite sorry for her, because she I s mortified of a morning when I do a complete bed and pj change, thank you for all the help you are sending my way xx
     
  20. witts1973

    witts1973 Registered User

    Jun 20, 2018
    634
    Male
    Leamington Spa
    Yes my mums in a hopsital bed too,she's eating well though,I feed mum but I do wish that she would be able to drink a large quantity of water like we could,did you get any dietry advice sheets to help with the sores?
     

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