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Incontinence - practical help please

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by marionq, Jun 30, 2016.

  1. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,749
    Female
    Scotland
    John has had a few accidents at night and I need to prepare for this being a regular thing. I already have a mattress protector and our en suite is about 4 steps from his side of the bed. He doesn't always make it in time.

    If you were buying appropriate protection what would you go for? How do you fit Kylie single sheets to a double bed? Would you start sleeping in single beds now? ( John would be hurt if I did this but would probably get used to it).

    What kind of overnight pad or protection should he wear? I have asked the GP for the continence nurse to visit.

    This is fairly new so I'm a novice and would value advice.
     
  2. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,720
    Male
    Bristol
    Afternoon Marion.

    I am just finding my way round this too. I got loads of good advice under a thread titled " Sorry moaning again". You might find some of the advice from Mal, Grove and Es helpful. Best of luck.
     
  3. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,963
    North East England
    If you have room, then single beds could be the way forward.....you can make them up seperately but then push them together so that you can still hold hands;);)

    We gave up on single beds and went for single rooms......I snore and OH doesn't sleep deeply.....we had to share last week when #1 son came for a visit and we remembered why we each had our own space:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
     
  4. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,749
    Female
    Scotland
    Advice on the other thread was indeed useful, Rob.

    The single bed thing would mean moving rooms. I have tried it in the past and John came looking for me but time has moved on and my main worry is that I would not hear him if he got out of bed. I may need to consider an alarm pad for that.

    Changes, changes. Every year brings something new.
     
  5. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    3,072
    Devon
    Hi Marion
    Well done for thinking ahead, much as it can be upsetting to do so
    .
    LadyA had some useful advice on using Kylie sheets on a double bed, on nae sporrans's thread I think. Basically it was to use single ones lengthways - not horizontally tucking the 'wings' in as you normally would.

    We were lucky in that our double bed was made up of two singles bolted and zipped together so they could be separated, but still pushed together as Cragmad said. It did make life so much easier. I got single duvets too as that was sometimes getting wet. We eventually got a hospital bed so would have had to get one single bed eventually anyway. That is so much easier as it has a wipe clean mattress.

    I didn't find pull ups that useful as my husband used to take them off in the night. One thing that was good was a bathmat with a rubber backing beside the bed. Saved the carpet a lot.

    Would you husband use a bottle you could keep beside the bed? (Good to stand it in a little bucket in case of spills).

    I hope the incontinence nurse is better in your area than they are here. Despite numerous pleading calls I was just told there was a huge waiting list and we never got a visit, and anyway the nurse would only recommend pads. There are other options. The situation may continue to change for you and it would be good to be aware of what is available, there is a kind of sheath for instance, but it's probably not suitable for your husband at present as it sounds as though he has a degree of control.
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  6. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,749
    Female
    Scotland
    Thank you. The single duvets are a good idea and I'll get them soon. I have lovely double covers so I'll be sobbing giving them up! I do have single covers I use for the grandchildren though. The bathroom mat is a good idea too. I ordered bed mats online today so the length wise idea is something to try.

    I took note of not using fabric softener to keep things waterproof so that is good too.

    It is so useful to get advice. Our GP practice is good but who knows how long the waiting list is.
     
  7. Jessbow

    Jessbow Registered User

    Do You, or could you, leave the light on, in the ensuite?

    If he'd use a bottle, spread a bath sheet on the floor under the bath mat, and be ready to grab it when its full./used.

    If you are desperate, get some disposable bed protectors ( The pound shop do them but call them puppy training pads - I found them to be larger)

    Dun Elm do waterproof duvet covers ( and they don't crackle!)
     
  8. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,629
    Female
    London
    Incontinence is an expensive hobby as you might find out.

    Get one or two waterproof mattress covers. Get several Kylie sheets as they take a while to dry. You could also think about Kylie seat covers. Continence products are VAT exempt so always tick the appropriate box! If you don't want to wake up in a wet bed, I strongly suggest separate beds. The problem with male incontinence is that the anatomy makes it possible for the pee to go in every direction, if you know what I mean! OH and I sleep in separate rooms, and the district nurse organised a wipable mattress for him.

    Our Continence Service is atrocious but see what you can get. Generally, if you want pull-up pants, you might not get many and not in a good absorbency. If you're ok with nappy style pads you usually get more. I find them undignified and fiddly but everyone is different. I tend to buy in more pull-ups in higher absorbencies. You can get Plus and Super in supermarkets, for Maxi which we use at night I believe you have to go online. I also bought a wipable pillow for him, plus wash creams and wipes for a quick clean-up.

    If you find your water bill go up like crazy, contact your water company for discount schemes. We were accepted on the WaterSure Plus scheme from Thames Water that gives a 50% discount.

    You might want to ask the GP for a barrier cream to prevent skin problems.
     
  9. grove

    grove Registered User

    Aug 24, 2010
    7,724
    North Yorkshire
    #9 grove, Jun 30, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2016
    Hello & Hope This Helps....................

    Marion ,


    https://www.ageukincontinence.co.uk


    (have checked & they *partner* your Scotland Age Uk ) Plus they do a full range of branded products & also products that are available for smaller budgets :) They *stock* a full range of every thing from day time ( seat protectors etc ) too night time ( & delivery is quite speedy )



    This might help also ( until the Continence Nurse comes) Age UK Advisor's > > 0800--046---1501 > Open Week days 8.30 -----6.00pm


    All the Best too you both & sorry for late reply but had a busy day ( into Town early then looking after Dad this afternoon so Mum could go Shopping)



    Grove x x
     
  10. carper8

    carper8 Registered User

    Feb 26, 2014
    38
    lincolnshire
    my husband has been incontinent , for 3 years i would use a kylie on double bed
    horizontally and also ask for pads at a night too,
     
  11. Ottoman68

    Ottoman68 Registered User

    Dec 25, 2015
    43
    London
    My husband became incontinent in September 2015. He refused to wear any continence aids. I was washing up to 5 pairs of jeans and underpants a day. I got a referral for him to a Professor of Urology three months ago and initially he was told to use decaf coffee. The prof said it would take 6 weeks to make a difference. It did. Then he was put on medication. So far so good - the problem has virtually gone but he might have to change meds in the future.

    Hope this is some use!
     
  12. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,236
    Female
    Dundee
    I have an ongoing battle with the continence clinic but it's a good idea to get involved with them so that you get some products through the NHS. I found it was trial and error (a lot of error!) to get the ones that suited as Bill's needs increased. I now go along with what they say/give me and buy what I want or need beyond that. I've used age uk etc etc but to be honest I mostly turn to Amazon as I can often get things more quickly through them.

    Have you got a Radar key so you can use disabled access toilets if you need to? You can get these from Amazon as well.

    I know that Bill is much further down the line but we never go anywhere without our bag of 'stuff'. I have a change of clothes in it, wipes, pads, gloves, bin liners and a portable urine bottle.

    It's an awful thing to deal with but you'll find you cope. Overnight is the worst for us. We were using sheaths and night bags which were working well but suddenly that stopped and we're having problems with them now. I've gone back to pads but even the highest absorbency all in one product doesn't last all night.

    Bill has a hospital single bed and I have a single bed beside him. That works well for us.

    Good luck. x
     
  13. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,749
    Female
    Scotland
    Thank you all for your comments they have been most useful. So far John has no problem during the day but I know how these things change and I will leave a set of trousers and pants with both of his day centres just in case.

    I have already put in place some of your ideas and talked to John tonight about why I'm doing this. He has only a vague memory of events at 2.30 am when the latest event happened but is in agreement with whatever is necessary. I have to say that even with dementia he trusts my judgement and that makes life easier.
     

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