Incontinence - please help

[Reds]

Hi

My husband has Alzheimer's and is in his 60s. I have mentioned this subject before but still need help pleased.

His blood test showed not diabetes or prostrate trouble. His urine has been checked.

What can it be?

He clearly knows where the toilet is and uses it fairly regularly.

I insert a male pad into his underwear for him to wear but still gets wet so gone back to giving him incontinence pull up pants.

When I have a chat to him he says he would be glad not to wear protection and believes he can stay dry but doesn't.

If I ask him if he is dry he always says yes but I don't believe always. He sounds like he is telling the truth but I don't think he would say he was wet.

I don't know if when in the toilet he is making sure his clothing is out of the way.

I don't know if its him not bothering sometimes to go.

I don't know if he is quick enough to get to the toilet.

Although he has Alzheimer's he is still capable of daily personal care and helping with a few chores.

Should we go back to the doctor's. Is there anything that can be done? Is it something we have to accept. Feel very sorry he is having this trouble and is worrying me.

I so wish I knew why he is getting wet? Any help appreciated.

Reds x

 

[Reds]

Please reply as situation is stressful.

Hi

My husband has Alzheimer's and is in his 60s. I have mentioned this subject before but still need help pleased.

His blood test showed not diabetes or prostrate trouble. His urine has been checked.

What can it be?

He clearly knows where the toilet is and uses it fairly regularly.

I insert a male pad into his underwear for him to wear but still gets wet so gone back to giving him incontinence pull up pants.

When I have a chat to him he says he would be glad not to wear protection and believes he can stay dry but doesn't.

If I ask him if he is dry he always says yes but I don't believe always. He sounds like he is telling the truth but I don't think he would say he was wet.

I don't know if when in the toilet he is making sure his clothing is out of the way.

I don't know if its him not bothering sometimes to go.

I don't know if he is quick enough to get to the toilet.

Although he has Alzheimer's he is still capable of daily personal care and helping with a few chores.

Should we go back to the doctor's. Is there anything that can be done? Is it something we have to accept. Feel very sorry he is having this trouble and is worrying me.

I so wish I knew why he is getting wet? Any help appreciated.

Reds x

Thanks for viewing. Please can I have some helpful comments? Reds x

 

[Beate]

I think you have to accept this as part of his dementia. His brain isn't sending the right signal to his bladder at all times anymore. It's not something he can help. Here's a very good factsheet about incontinence:
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/downl...factsheet_continence_and_using_the_toilet.pdf

 

[Izzy]

I think a visit back to the doctor might be useful. Have you had a referral to the continence clinic/continence nurse/service? I'm afraid incontinence is something that goes along with dementia - just as Beate says.

 

[irismary]

Not sure how helpful but I agree it seems to be part of the condition. My husband has been through spells of having accidents so I put him in a pull up when he goes to day care as he tends to hold himself till he gets home most of the time - don't know how he manages it!! In the night he gets very fidgety when he needs the loo but it can take me ages to convince him to go - he just doesn't seem to know what the sensation he is feeling means. During the day he will leave it till the last minute. He doesn't move clothing out of the way properly and sometimes doesn't remove it at all so I take him now virtually every time (he sneaks off occasionally). I think I irritate him asking if he needs the loo all the time.

 

[Spamar]

Try and get an appt with the continence nurse. A simple stopping coffee after mid afternoon helped for a while, at least the night problems. You might have to go in the loo with him to see just what is happening, missing the loo, or not able to undress quickly enough.
OH also mistook wet for cold and vice versa and kept insisting that the clean underwear I was giving him was already wet. I think OH had every mistake possible, even with pads on ( insisted on taking them off, then missing the loo). Easier for him to sit, sometimes, even just to pass urine.
Plus get some kylie sheets to protect a bed. There is nothing funny about changing all the bed linen at 03:00. I used to have a humour bypass at that time of the night!

It is, as someone said, par for the dementia course, I'm afraid.

 

[Bod]

Try regular Loo stops.
Every couple or three hours, on to the loo, whether or not the "need" is felt.
You will soon get the idea of length of time he can hold on for.

Bod

 

[jennypie]

I think incontinence is one of the most distressing sides to Alzheimer's for all party's!
I'm a retired nurse and hopefully cope with it as well as I can but feel for those of you who have never had to deal with this. My husband wakes in the night fidgeting and scratching which stops after he's been taken to the loo he also takes a bit of persuading that he needs to go, occasionally I'm so exhausted I ignore these signs and then pay fir it with a wet bed etc in the morning I assume that if I slept in a different room the bed etc would be extremely wet by morning or do people get up and check or have baby alarms?
Just bought a kylie sheet as fed up with washing the mattress protector, he also wears pull ups. Also use a urinal at night as his aim is absolutely rubbish! I've not tried pads but think he will just move them out of the way hence the pull ups. Sorry Reds but incontinence is part of Alzheimer's but see his gp to rule out anything else , good luck x


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[Reds]

Thank you very much for the help.

I guess the matter feels better if accepted. I hope it will eventually pass for at least awhile.

I will just give him the pull ups and not ask if he is dry. Will hope his trousers will stay dry. I expect is sensible to go back to the doctor but hate the thought of him going through more hassle such as a hospital appointment or tests as had rather a lot of appointments just lately.

Hate it when something doesn't make clear sense. Only time will tell.

Reds x

 

[sajimjo]

Most of the time I can keep my partner dry as he does not need the loo nearly as often as I do. However I do keep him in a pad as he is more likely to soil himself rather than wet himself. Also after urinating he still drips quite a lot............think the washer has gone! Could that be the case for you Reds?

Yes, my partner starts fidgeting in the night so I know it is time to go to the loo. My problem the last couple of nights is that he can't get out of bed, his legs go like jelly sometimes, caused possibly by his meds. But that's another subject.
Sajimjo

 

[Amy in the US]

I'm sorry to hear about your husband. I imagine that dealing with incontinence is very, very challenging.

I don't know if any of this information from the UK Alzheimer's Society might be helpful: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/info/20029/daily_living/13/toilet_problems_and_continence

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/download_info.php?fileID=1792

I do think it's a good idea to keep the GP appraised of changes and the current situation. I would also ask for a referral to the (In)Continence Nurse/Team in your area. They may be able to offer advice, suggestions, and perhaps some products.

You mentioned that he has had tests, and ask "what can it be?" in terms of, what can be causing the incontinence. I am sorry to say that (my understanding, at least) incontinence is caused by dementia, so I imagine that is what is going on with your husband. Dementia is never easy to deal with and unfortunately, as you know, it is a progressive disease. I feel like sometimes I just about get a handle on one symptom or problem, and then it changes.

Even if you cannot fix it, there may be ways to make it easier for you to manage it.

There has been lots of discussion here on TP about how people cope with someone at home who is incontinent, what products they use, what they use for the bed and furniture, tips about cleaning and coping with the mess, and a lot of support.

Perhaps you can also find some ways to get more support with toileting, dressing, washing, hygiene, laundry, and so forth, for yourself?

Wishing you all the best.

 

[esmeralda]

Most of the time I can keep my partner dry as he does not need the loo nearly as often as I do. However I do keep him in a pad as he is more likely to soil himself rather than wet himself. Also after urinating he still drips quite a lot............think the washer has gone! Could that be the case for you Reds?

Yes, my partner starts fidgeting in the night so I know it is time to go to the loo. My problem the last couple of nights is that he can't get out of bed, his legs go like jelly sometimes, caused possibly by his meds. But that's another subject.
Sajimjo

Could he have a bottle to keep by the bed?

 

[Boz Rihan]

Incontinence

My mother is not incontinent, she simply forgets what the loo/commode is foror does not remember how to use them. I try to keep an eye on her at night and have seen her get up to use the commode. She sits on the side of the bed. Puts on her slippers. Scratches her nose. Scratches her head. Heaves herself up. Pulls up her nightie. Tucks it into her pants. Sits on the side of the bed. Takes her nightie out of her pants and rolls it up under her breasts. Heaves herself off the bed and then sits on the commode in her pants and pad and pees. Of course by the time she has gone through this procedure it is odten too late. I just let her get on with it and then get her changed. If i interrupt the process she forgets that she wants to pee and if i remind her that that is why she got up she sneers. Very often she uses the bucket from the commode and just holds it between her legs or just sits on the side of the bed and pees. Thank goodness for floor wipes etc. She only pees a couple of times during the day and then pees for Britain at night! BTW i had a triple whammy Friday night to Saturday morning. She did not sleep. She fell in between her bed and chest of drawers (no damage done) AND she s*** on the floor which is not really something you want at 5.30 in the morning. Good night last night though!

 

[Peirre]

After going through the phase of him pulling the pads out in the night, leaving him with no leak protection, I have now invested in pull up pants for nighttime wear which has reduced the collateral effects of soiling the bed linen. But I still have to use washable and disposable Kylie sheets to deal with him turning top to bottom and every other way in his sleep. So it's not unusual to have the to wash the duvet cover, pillow case(s) and fitted sheet daily. Which can mean on a bad day there's 3 loads of washing daily (Kylie, bedding, and clothes). On a good day only the Kylie reqs changing/washing. But having identical duplicate items of bedding, pillows, etc helps. Even the pillows have waterproof protectors fitted, with the regular pillow slips over the top, as the the pillows can become soiled due in to the wicking effect if they come in contact with the Kylie sheet.
It might seem OTT but to give you an idea the inventory of his bedding comprises of:
2 hollow fibre duvets, which can be put through the washer
6 hollow fibre pillows with waterproof covers (4 on the bed +2 spare).
3 fitted sheets.
3 double bed sized Kylies
8 pillow slips
2 waterproof mattress covers
3 standard mattress protectors
100+ disposable 60x90 Kylie sheets
With the above inventory I'm able to keep ahead, and swop the whole lot around in 10-15mins and not have to worry that the bedding won't be laundered and back on the bed the same day.

 

[cuppatea]

Oh that's a lot of washing!! My husband has dementia and has to wear a catheter. He's usually OK in the day but gets confused at night. In hospital he used to undo the taps and wet the bed. He now has a 750 ml leg bag which he wears day and night and since being home only have a wet bed once or twice a week. He gets up 2 or 3 times a night as like you say he produces much more urine at night! I too have various waterproof sheet arrangements. A tip my daughter gave me from potty training toddlers is to put two waterproof sheets in top of each other then you only need to take one off in the night (hopefully)... Hope this helps

 

[Reds]

Thank you!

Feel sorry for all of you who are having such an upheaval and worry of someone with incontinence.

Your help is much appreciated.

Reds x

 

[SharonH]

Thank you very much for the help.

I guess the matter feels better if accepted. I hope it will eventually pass for at least awhile.

I will just give him the pull ups and not ask if he is dry. Will hope his trousers will stay dry. I expect is sensible to go back to the doctor but hate the thought of him going through more hassle such as a hospital appointment or tests as had rather a lot of appointments just lately.

Hate it when something doesn't make clear sense. Only time will tell.

Reds x

Hi, from a bladder and bowel care hca, you shouldn't need to go to hospital and there won't be lots of tests or anything intrusive. Quick dip test of urine if you can get a sample and a bladder scan, both done at home, to rule out physical problems and then discussion on management.
It's a hard thing to cope with and the one thing people find they can't cope with. My dad is incontinent and I struggle to help as he won't accept it. I've resorted to sneaking wet trousers away and replacing them and washing bathroom mats regularly to help mum , who also has dementia.
All very much a struggle, good luck. X