My husband has been in a nursing home in Scotland since last November after breaking both his hips due to falls. Before this he was able to walk without aids and was not incontient. Now he is in a wheelchair most of the time and is doubly incontinent and needs 24 hour care (which doesn't really exist). The home provided small pads, like nappies, and my husband was leaking on a regular basis, which was very upsetting for both of us. One of the careers suggested pull up pants as they fit better than pads and in the main avoid leakage. I have been buying these from Amazon, cost approx £5 per pack for 8 pants, I provide the home with two packs per week which seems to suffice and avoids leakage and distress. The lockdown has been hell for people with dementia. After about 6 weeks into lockdown when I visited my husband through the door or window he just sat in his wheelchair with his head down and wouldn't look up and got quite aggressive with the staff, which he had never been before .... they loved him. This was very distressing for me as I love him so much and hated to see him like this. We have been married for 54 years, met when I was 16 and he was 18. However since we have had garden visits once a week he is much happier. The staff leave me in the garden with him and I sit and hold his hand and tell him how much I love him and miss him. I keep hand sanitizer in my handbag and use this regularly. I really think that being able to touch your loved one makes a big difference to their wellbeing. During lockdown it has been really hard for dementia patients and their families. It is a very cruel disease and if you haven't experienced it nobody really understands and thinks that it is all to do with memory loss! Sorry for the ramble but feeling quite sad tonight sitting looking at my husbands chair thinking that he should be sitting in it, not down the road in a nursing home. This is not the life we planned ... 'Grow old with me, the best is yet to come'. Love and hugs to you all out there. xx
