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Incontinence and personal hygiene


Registered User
Mar 4, 2013
Auckland...... New Zealand
Mum with moderate AD is becoming slightly incontinent.
In Mums case she waits too long to go to the loo.
I recently bought her Tena liners. She won't use them. She says they stick to her and they are too long :rolleyes: so she is going through several pairs of undies a day. ( any suggestions)

Mum does have a bath every day, sometimes two if she has forgotten she has had one, but I do wonder if she even uses soap half the time.
Hair washing can be a problem, and I have to remind her, but do take her to the hairdressers once a month, so at least she gets a good hairwash.
Personal toiletries and perfumes have gone by the way side.

Mum has psoriasis, and suffers occasionally from tinea between her toes.
She has an ointment for each which I have written on each box... For Elbows & Knees, For toes etc

Mum and Dad live in their own house behind ours and I go over every night to oversee Mums medication. She had had a bath, and had put the ointment for her toes on her elbows and knees and vice versa.
This isn't the first time she has put the wrong ointment in the wrong place, and I have had to hide the Vicks and Deep Heat :D

I suppose none of this in the scheme of things is really important ( bar the incontinence) but boy its getting hard, having to think one step ahead. I feel like I'm having to micro manage everything, and people tell me I fuss too much. But who else would be Mums ears and eyes?


Registered User
May 21, 2014
You're looking after someone else. You want to get it right. Of course you don't fuss too much. Every aspect of OH's care is now overseen by me. Medication, incontinence care, showering, shaving, ointments for dry skin, check ears, eyes, nose, fingernails, toenails, teeth, intimate parts... The list is so extensive that sometimes I forget something and he goes to bed with dirty fingernails. Not the end of the world I know, but who but me would do it? If I miss something, it goes undetected and he'd walk around with glasses he can't see through or his keys lodged inside his slippers (don't ask). It's a huge responsibility. Sometimes I forget to brush my own teeth but not usually his!


Registered User
Jun 23, 2011
Tell her there's only one pair of clean undies left and unless she wants to go without any (!) she should wear the liners that day ... And the next. Just a suggestion. Very difficult.
If you help to bath her once a week and wash her thoroughly then it doesn't matter what she does the other days. I think you'll have to apply the creams. You will need to do more and more as time passes.


Registered User
Aug 30, 2013
Change from knickers + pads, to pull-ups, remove all pairs of knickers so there's no going back.
Can be pulled down, and up as required, but there when needed!



Registered User
Oct 18, 2010
North East England
Not being funny...but is she putting the pads into her panties the right way round? It might help to pre-load her briefs for a week or so, ie put the pads in and then pop them back in the drawer so she doesn't have to prepare them herself.
Failing that...get Tena Type pants.