Inconsolable tonight.

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by kayze, Nov 19, 2014.

  1. kayze

    kayze Registered User

    Jan 20, 2014
    166
    Hi everyone,

    Tonight I am sitting here in tears, I just can't stop crying, nothing has happened to bring this on, I just feel totally inconsolable.

    I think I just came to the realisation how ill my husband is and this may be our last christmas together. I just love my husband so much and can't bare the thought of him not being here.

    Sorry for the selfish self pity.

    Kayze.
     
  2. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,302
    Cotswolds
    Oh kayze, you are not selfish. We all get upset and it sounds like you have every reason to......:(

    Take care of yourself and your dear husband

    Sending you (((hugs)))

    Lindy xx
     
  3. liv2014

    liv2014 Registered User

    Nov 19, 2014
    4
    Kayze, sometimes it's for the best to let it all out, so you don't use all your strength keeping it in. Wishing you all the best x x
     
  4. loveahug

    loveahug Registered User

    Nov 28, 2012
    1,071
    Moved to Leicester
    awww Kayze, you need some sort of outlet my love, just let it all out, there are a lot of shoulders here...


    BIG HUGS x
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,360
    Kent
    Many of us have had these moments Kayze. It`s an overwhelming feeling of sadness and hopelessness.
    It`s certainly not selfish self pity.
     
  6. Jinx

    Jinx Registered User

    Mar 13, 2014
    2,333
    Pontypool
    Nothing to add except a big hug and hope tomorrow is a better day.


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  7. kayze

    kayze Registered User

    Jan 20, 2014
    166
    Thank you for your support.

    I have a dementia support worker coming to us on Tuesday along with my GP, they are going to talk to me about end of life care, I am so scared every time I think about it I can't stop shaking.
     
  8. jan.s

    jan.s Registered User

    Sep 20, 2011
    7,352
    Oh Kayze, how I feel for you. I recognise those feelings of what will life be like when our partner is no longer here. I too sit and cry for my lost love, he now lives in a care home.

    Sending you love and a hug, Jan xx
     
  9. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,438
    Female
    Dundee
    Think of you and sending you my support. x


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point mobile app
     
  10. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,535
    North East England
    Oh my heart goes out to you ... in fact to all those in this position. It must be horrendous. I'm so sorry. Wish I could give you more than a virtual hug xx
     
  11. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    I'm too tired to read through all the TP posts that I've missed this last couple of days, due to my own hubby's trauma, but had to read yours. God makes tears to wash away sorrow, and it's no wonder you're feeling as you do. We're all watching our life partners on this rotten lousy journey, and it's heart breaking.

    This is not selfish self-pity, this is the awful realisation at the hand of cards we've been dealt. Nothing, but nothing that anyone can say will take away these feelings, but there's nothing wrong in letting it all out, especially on here, where we all understand, only too well.

    We don't know each other, we don't know what each other looks like, but we're all here for one another. There's a large circle of cyber friends on TP, and we won't let you fall. We're giving you our virtual love and hugs, and we'll all here for you.
     
  12. rajahh

    rajahh Registered User

    Aug 29, 2008
    2,796
    Hertfordshire
    I havedone the same as you, many of us have. It is sad,it does cause tears, but we all understand. Xx
     
  13. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,508
    Ireland
    can't say anything to console you. Sometimes, you just have to cry about it all. It's certainly something to cry about. But you aren't alone with it - and you never have to apologise for coming on here and telling us all about it. We have all either been there or are heading there, and so are here to support each other at the different stages of our journeys. xx
     
  14. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,726
    North Somerset
    Agree with LadyA. Cry when you need to, we all do when things seem too much to bear and we all understand how you are feeling. Sending a big hug.x

    Sent from my GT-N5110
     
  15. Eleonora

    Eleonora Registered User

    Dec 21, 2012
    171
    Abingdon Oxfordshire
    Dear girl, you aren't alone; each and every one of us has a good howl, and pretty often at that.
    If we didn't, I don't believe we could carry on doing what we do for the one we love.
    I do believe that crying is nature's trick to release a build up of unbearable tension, and it can be a weapon to help you to get yourself back into control and carry on.

    We cry for so many reasons; sometimes for the loss of our stolen future, or frustration about the failure of the, 'caring services.' We cry for the life we had, and on which we still, wistfully, look back.
    How often we can be moved to sobs of pity for our loved partner's vulnerability and bewilderment.

    I am often moved to tears when I read of the impossible existences many of TP's members have to live.

    Crying just shows that we are human; not selfish or pathetic. We are all doing our best for those we cherish - but a good cry lets the misery out.
    Huge hug,
    Leonora
     
  16. kayze

    kayze Registered User

    Jan 20, 2014
    166
    Thank you so much to all who replied to my post, it does make me feel less alone and to know I am not the only one going through this.

    Reading posts on here also make me cry its all so very sad.

    I just wish this saying was true.

    I am a strong person, but sometimes I need someone to hold my hand and tell me everything will be ok.

    Thanks again for your support.
     
  17. hokeycokey

    hokeycokey Registered User

    Feb 24, 2014
    139
  18. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Kayze, only just last week, I had a scare. Hubby in bed, all day. I actually went out to do some shopping, came back and he was still in bed. My antenna went right up, then. He got up once in the night, walked through the darkened living/dining room as if he were a ghost. Got back in bed and lights out until the following morning.

    Because he doesn't normally sleep well, I have to assume his body was exhausted, and he slept. For ages. Nearly one whole day, and a whole night.

    He's back to normal, now. Up at ridiculous hours of the night. But that event, last week made me wonder how long he'll be with me. Scary, ain't it.

    Get the tears out, mate. Don't block them off. Sometimes, we need to just cry. You'll feel stronger again, soon.
     
  19. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    Definitely NOT selfish self pity, and we're all here to comfort and so many of us understand that sudden desolate feeling. Sending a great big hug.
     

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