1. Pear trees

    Pear trees Registered User

    Jan 25, 2015
    On opening door to see us on doorstep
    M - my bus isn't here.(slams door on us)
    me - It's not coming the lunch club is closed for Easter. I've bought you fish and chips
    This happens once more
    She grudgingly lets us in, no hello or nice to see you
    M- I've got no food, you're leaving me to starve
    Me - I've bought you fish and chips, and J is bringing you dinner tomorrow. You've got sandwiches n the fridge and cakes in cupboards (the bin is full of wrappers we know she is eating well)
    M - I'm being left to starve
    me - eat your fish and chips while they're hot.
    M - I've got no money, you've stolen it all
    me - you have plenty of money in your purse, and I've put more spending money in it.
    M- no one cares or comes to see me
    me - eat your fish and chips then I'll take you for a ride and we can stop for tea and cakes
    M - no one does anything for me or cares about me
    This went on all afternoon except for when we stopped at a village cafe
    Took her home, no thank you, assured her J would visit tomorrow with dinner, she did not say goodbye, just kept on moaning as we left her sitting there with tea and more cakes.
    Don't really know why I bothered!!
  2. In stitches

    Something that isn't moaning, but has, I think, the same flavour of contrariness and repetitiveness.

    Me - we'll be going out soon, would you like to go to the loo?
    Dad - I don't need the lavatory.

    A few minutes later...
    Me - we'll be leaving in a quarter of an hour to go to your appointment - time to go to the loo, I think?
    Dad - I don't need the lavatory.

    At intervals...
    Me - [ever more insistant or desperate urging to go to loo]
    Dad - I don't need the lavatory.

    Me - it's time to go.
    Dad - I need the lavatory.

    I hope someone will get a laugh out of my confession that it took me years to realise that all I needed to do was to lie about what time we were leaving and tell him it was time to go 10-15 minutes before it was actually time to go.

    I think I've worked out the fish and chips problem, too, Pear Trees. Next time, you haven't brought her fish and chips. You happen to have your fish and chips with you. You're utterly shocked she's starving and of course she can have your fish and chips. [Oh dear, I'm getting naughty now.]
  3. skaface

    skaface Registered User

    Jul 18, 2011
    That reminds me, I need to get yet another set of house keys cut for mum. I don't know what she does with them, every set I get done, I hang up on the key rack in the hallway all labelled up, and the next time I go around, they've disappeared. When she dies I'm convinced I will find them all stashed away somewhere.

    Add into that the carers constantly ringing me up to tell me that "the keys aren't in the keysafe" at which I go garrity because they are the only people who use them and it's their responsibility to make sure they are put back! And usually when I'm told that and go haring over to mum's I find them - in the keysafe!

    Also mum tends to bold the doors on the inside, or puts the latch down so the carers can't get in - then I get another phone call. My sister suggested a deadlock that needs a key to open on either side, but mum usually leaves the key in the porch door on the inside, and of course it can't then be unlocked from the other side.
  4. VonVee

    VonVee Registered User

    Dec 15, 2014
    Poole Dorset
    #84 VonVee, Apr 3, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2016
    Hi Selina

    Oh I have plenty of experience with moaning because that's all my mother really does, 24/7, and boy does it get under my skin hon, and as hard as it is I walk away, it really get on my nerves, nothing I do is right, and I'm dammed if I do, and if I don't, her dementia is from altzeimers tho and not vascular, but it's pretty much the same thing, the moaning I mean, then I myself find I am turning into it and I haven't got dementia, because I moan onto my husband and kids because I've got no one else to talk to... And it goes on and on, it would be better really if she just died as this illness is just ravaging her, but I can't see that happening anytime soon, so every day the same thing, going round in circles, great life, not!

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