Three members of the memory clinic came to the house yesterday without letting me know (which I was told they would) and while I was at work. One of the carers happened to be here, by chance otherwise my mum would have been on her own. The carer, who's known mum for many years, said the doctor (who has met mum once before at the clinic in June) was very aggressive. Said his opening gambit was "Your daughter wants to sell the house and put you in a home." Was dismissive and rude to the carer, didn't listen or accept anything the carer said about mum's decline and the difficulty she and her colleagues had in getting mum to eat, wash, dress etc. And left within ten minutes saying, "I'm not signing the forms to put her in a home." The care company is going to complain to the memory clinic for the way the carer was spoken to and I think I'll probably put in a formal complaint but wondered if anyone had any advice. The issue isn't that they haven't found her lacking capacity, the issue is coming to the house with a pre-formed idea of what he was going to say, being rude, upsetting everybody and convinced I'm the wicked daughter who's after her mother's cash -- whereas I'm an exhausted daughter, clearly on the verge of a breakdown who would like to spend her mother's money on her mother's care in a top-notch facility with people who are trained to look after the frail elderly with dementia. Advice welcome.