In pain...


Registered User
Dec 5, 2003
Hello all,

I haven't posted for a long while now, but really didn't know where else to turn for advice, so I apologise for being selfish in my lack of support for others recently.

Just to update you, my Nan is now in a nearby nursing home and has been for almost a year, where she has been unable to move from bed since arrival. Things have deteriorated recently and we were warned to prepare for the worst over a week ago, and my Nan was put on a morphine 'driver' to help her deal with the pain her leg is causing.

However, we had a phone call from the home today to tell us that the Dr has visited and has said that my Nan has been in a lot more pain than the staff thought so they are putting the driver back in. We're all now very upset, as we didn't realise it had even been taken out and, to make matters worse the nurse commented that my Nan had been "very noisy" but they didn't think anything of it (following a comment we overheard about my Nan at Xmas this doesn't surprise me).

It really upsets me to think of her having to suffer in this way, and that the staff ignored this. To make matters worse there is apparently a shortage of morphine in the country (???) so they're having to check on stocks before they can put her back on this.

Does anyone have any advice as to what to do now? Do you think we should comment on this, or complain, or just accept it and hope that she will not be in any more pain once the morphine is re-introduced. I really feel like I don't want to fail her now when she needs us most, just because I don't know what action to take.

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
NW England
Hi Emma. Surely no reason to apologise? We do what we can when we can for others - and 'others' in similar situations will accept that as they know it too well themselves.

I've come away from a hospital visit with my own mum today wondering whether/how to make a complaint - similar situation last week.... then I read your post and wonder what I have to gripe about.....

I'm currently in the mode (somewhere between upset, speechless, desperately angry) of thinking that to complain JUST NOW is not the best use of what reserves I have left. What I need to do JUST NOW is a) make sure mum is OK (which she now is) and b) come to TP for some ... well, whatever it is we gain from here (??!!) :) - but it sure is doing more for ME just now than sitting down and writing an angry letter....

What I have done is made a few notes about the circumstances which have given rise to mum and me feeling (in different ways) what we have about today.... I'll maybe write the letter, I maybe won't.

It's only my opinion, but I wonder you might feel better for doing what you can on any practical level in the 'here and now' for your nan (and yourself) and leave the complaining on the 'back-burner'? (for a time when you will feel stronger and more rational and make it a more effective one????!!!).

For a start, how to research the 'morphine stocks'? (Struck me you thought you were being 'fed a line'???) I dunno, I'm sorry. I recall something similar happening when I had to chase every pharmaceutical outlet in the area for a specific drug prescribed following a hospital discharge (not dispensed by the hospital pharmacy???).. sorry to be so vague.

I've heard hospital nursing staff tell mum so many times (post-operatively) 'there is no reason to be in pain ... that's what pain relief is all about'.

So sorry your nan has gone through this....

Love, Karen, x