In need of help and advice with Dad’s condition.

[Mister Dee Bee]

Hi this is my first post to any kind of forum and am very nervous about posting. I was directed here by a very good friend of mine, so hi to all at DTP. Basically my father is now approx 10 years on from original diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. As i cohabit with my folks, i and my mother have been caring for dad. However things are becoming increasingly harder for myself and my mother to cope with Dads condition as i its becoming obvious that his condition and our environment is deteriorating. Mum is getting older, and I have some medical issue of my own to contend with and dads symptoms are becoming more extreme. We are a very tightly knit family and have fought this awful disease every step of the way with dad and have been so proactive in trying to find a solution, from signing up for drug trials, to alternative therapies, and feel so guilty for having to look elsewhere for help, but we think we are now at the point where we need to reach out to seek help to at least to maybe get some kInd of occasional respite for mum/myself if possible. I have looked through the forums , but havent found a relevant thread as yet, so appologies of this question has been asked and answered already. Is it possible for someone to possibly help guide us through the possible home support or respite options available to us please. I am a complete novice to this scenario and just want the best for dad and maintaining the family unit, but also I beieve we are that point where we need to find some help that may help dad and also protect my mothers health from the exhausting nature of dads illness. We are feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment. Any help or guidance would be so appreciated. We are based in South Buckinghamshire in the UK. Thankyou all x.

 

[nellbelles]

Hi @Mister Dee Bee and a warm welcome to DTP don’t be nervous about posting you are doing a great job..
my first suggestions are to contact your local SS and ask for a care assessment for your Dad and a carers assessment for your Mum this will get you into the system.
Have you applied for AA and have you POA? Not prying just things usually advised to do..
I’m glad you are reaching out for help before carer breakdown actually happens..
I hope now you have found us you will continue to post it is a friendly and supportive place

 

[Mister Dee Bee]

Hi nellbelles. Thankyou so much for the warm welcome. I hadn’t thought of the term carer breakdown before because we’ve always just got on with it and supported each other as family, but it makes total sense. I really don’t know where to start, but like you advise I will check the SS out and see where that takes us. Could you please explain AA and POA (is that power of attorney?) We have power of attorney and his personal/ financial things in order, which other members of family helped arrange pretty much around the time dad was diagnosed. Is it possible to outline what we can expect or what is expected of us, when contacting SS please? I have read that dad needs to get some kind of benefit before any kind of assistance (from both care personnel and financial perspective)can be offered for any type of care. We are in no way wealthy so are at the mercy of searching for assistance. It’s all so daunting and feels like there’s a mountain in front of us that requires climbing. Is there a guide sheet anywhere that could navigate us through this ? Thankyou for your kind response.

 

[Izzy]

Hi and welcome from me too.

I’m sorry things are so hard for you all.

I wondered if this link would give you some information regarding what might be available to you -

Care Advice Buckinghamshire

Support and care for adults, their families and carers.

www.careadvicebuckinghamshire.org

It might also be an idea to give the Dementia Connect Support Line a call and discuss the issues with one of the advisors there-

Dementia Support Line

If you need dementia support, we’re here for you. Get personalised information, support and advice by calling us on 0333 150 3456.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

I’m glad you were pointed in the direction of this forum. I know you will get lots of help and support here.

 

[Izzy]

This factsheet on assessment of needs might also be useful -

Assessment for care and support in England

What are care assessments and how can people with dementia and their carers access them? This information is for care and support in England.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Mister Dee Bee]

Izzy thankyou so much for your warm welcome and kind words and also the links and info. I’ll take a look and make some enquiries. Thanks, Very kind.

 

[nellbelles]

@Mister Dee Bee sorry for the abbreviations, AA Attendance Allowance you are quite correct about Power of Attorney
The form for attendance allowance can be a bit daunting but just remember what the situation is like on the really bad days and you should be fine..