In need of a virtual hug

[cat64]

Hello my friends,
I am having a tough week. Mum is OK(ish) but I have a trapped nerve in my neck, a broken tooth and my much loved cat (20 years old) is very poorly (weeping as I write this) not sure she is going to make it.She has been with me since she was six weeks old. Been holding it together since mum's diagnosis but this has destroyed me.
Hope everyone else is OK
Much love
Jenny

Oh no that's horrible.........dental pain and anything nerve related is just horrible...I have a very sensitive tooth at the moment that I too should sort but the dentist is my biggest phobia I too say take paracetamol and ibuprofen....alternate them as you can only have 4 lots of one and 3 of the other in a 24 hr period [ you can tell Im an ex nurse cant you..far too bossy!! lol]
If the neck carries on get to the gp some physio might help? Also I love those wheat bags that you can put in the microwave, you can get neck shaped ones.

Also as a serious cat lover.....we have 5!! dreading when we start to lose them so part of the family.20 a wonderful age for your Molly..



My mum is sort of settling in her care home it is early days..not angry just a bit agitated at times in her new care home .....she did stand by the lift in her coat for the first couple of days waiting for me and my sister but when the carers said we would be back tomorrow she accepted it and went back to her room. The carers seem to have got her sussed though and definately know the tricks of the trade....if they tell her the dr is coming she will have her shower and wash her hair and doesn't layer on the six layers of foundation!! [ she has looked orange with make up for the last year!!] She is eating too which is lovely as we tried so much at home and she was fading away..........hope your mum settles soon, you sort your neck and tooth and your lovely moggy is not in pain. take care x

 

[nae sporran]

Hello my friends,
I am having a tough week. Mum is OK(ish) but I have a trapped nerve in my neck, a broken tooth and my much loved cat (20 years old) is very poorly (weeping as I write this) not sure she is going to make it.She has been with me since she was six weeks old. Been holding it together since mum's diagnosis but this has destroyed me.
Hope everyone else is OK
Much love
Jenny

Morning Jenny.

Sorry about your bad week. Toothache, trapped nerve and your poor wee cat. It's good to have all these nurses on the forum though. My cat was right nuisance, but I sure missed him when he went. I will send my best hugs and hope you get better soon.

Morning Lou, that was nice your weekend turned out well after you got your mum settled.

We have some care visitors who know OH very well Alison, and can gently persuade her to shower after some friendly banter. It's nice to see your CH has the same characters. All the best to you and your 5 cats.

All the best to Heidi, Gill and Jackie.

 

[jknight]

Thanks everyone!

Nerve still trapped, hoping to get to the dentist tomorrow (more likely Wednesday as I have to take Mum to the memory clinic tomorrow and I have the blood pressure clinic as well (not that my blood pressure is going to be raised this week!!!))
My lovely cat is a little better but we still think it's the beginning of the end. I'm coping better today though.
Thanks for your kind thoughts
You are all in my thoughts
Hope all is well with you all (Quilty & Heidi, hope you are as OK as you can be)
J xxx

 

[exhausted 2015]

Thanks everyone!

Nerve still trapped, hoping to get to the dentist tomorrow (more likely Wednesday as I have to take Mum to the memory clinic tomorrow and I have the blood pressure clinic as well (not that my blood pressure is going to be raised this week!!!))
My lovely cat is a little better but we still think it's the beginning of the end. I'm coping better today though.
Thanks for your kind thoughts
You are all in my thoughts
Hope all is well with you all (Quilty & Heidi, hope you are as OK as you can be)
J xxx

Oh gosh, I have so much to catch up on ,just bobbed on to see if you are all OK, and discovered our little group is growing... I never expected when I first started this post at the end of December it would be still going and I have you all to thank for that with continuing support , I will read it all through tomorrow, but from a quick glance I see that some of us have problems with our own health,loved ones and our dear pets,
I'm tired tonight... Not sleeping too well again, had another scare with dad again yesterday, nurse in charge told me yesterday that his blood pressure dropped really low and they struggled to arouse him ( his mews score was 8 ),he is a little better today,my brother had the difficult task of explaining to his 6 year old grandson ( who lives with them) that his nanny had gone to heaven, so I don't know who I am worrying about more,I feel drained tonight I just hope that I can sleep tonight.... Goodnight all,god bless.xxxxxxx

 

[hvml]

Hi all - and welcome Cat64. Thanks for reminding us to be kind to ourselves. It's easy to forget. I have now got plenty of time on my hands and am enjoying cooking and preparing fresh fruit and veg - lots of them!!

I hope you have all had a Happy Easter. Mine was quiet,as oh was out working a lot of it, but I made myself some millionaire's shortbread and have been indulging. He has got an evening in tonight, so that will be nice. It was my strong wish for him to get a job before I came back - I was the sole earner for years - and things are looking good!! I always knew that he would be a good worker if he was given the chance and he is proving me right

I'm glad to hear that you had an enjoyable time at the theatre Lou. It does you good to get out occasionally. One of the things I enjoyed in the village was 3 monthly bingo with my sil. It was run by the parish hall committee and was great fun. I once won £50!! I am looking forward to catching up with friends while I have some free time on my hands, but will soon be putting my nose to the grindstone in terms of seeking work.

Sorry to hear about OH's aches and pains Rob, but it is good to know that she is ok in the main. My Dad stopped complaining about such niggles once I started him on regular paracetamol. It was mostly for the pain of his ulcerated ankle, but did decrease his general discomfort at the same time. Does your oh have paracetamol?
I hope you are all well.

Lots of love, Heidi xx

 

[nae sporran]

Afternoon Heidi. Sounds like you are slowly settling back in to life in London, hope you enjoy a night in with OH and some shortbread. We have paracetamols thanks, and even codeine if OH needs it, but she has had too many kidney problems in recent years so I don't like to over prescribe. She has an appointment with the Podiatrist next week so hopefully we will get some ideas behind the causes. Otherwise, a little excercise eased a lot of pains last summer, after she refused to follow the advice of the physio and even blamed the physio for pain and discomfort which had been there for months. Sorry to ramble on, I didn't realise a few niggles were quite so seriously affecting us both.

Hope all goes well for you.

Afternoon to Jenny too, hope you get that dentist appointment tomorrow and all went well with your mum today.

Oh dear Gill, sorry your problems just keep adding up and your dad never seems to get over one thing before something else hits him. Hope you got a better sleep last night. I can recommend a good massage and reiki session just to relax and sleep a little even if it's just for an hour or so while it's happening.



Best wishes everyone, Rob

 

[jknight]

Hello my friends,
I am having a tough week. Mum is OK(ish) but I have a trapped nerve in my neck, a broken tooth and my much loved cat (20 years old) is very poorly (weeping as I write this) not sure she is going to make it.She has been with me since she was six weeks old. Been holding it together since mum's diagnosis but this has destroyed me.
Hope everyone else is OK
Much love
Jenny

Quick update. Had to have my beautiful cat put to sleep this evening. So sad even though I know it was the right thing to do.

 

[exhausted 2015]

Quick update. Had to have my beautiful cat put to sleep this evening. So sad even though I know it was the right thing to do.

I'm sorry jenny,I know it can't of been easy,we had to do it with our Labrador some years ago, xxx

 

[jknight]

I'm sorry jenny,I know it can't of been easy,we had to do it with our Labrador some years ago, xxx

Thanks Gill. I have coped with so much in the past few years. It was the right thing for my beautiful girl xxx

 

[hvml]

Dear Jenny

You must be devastated. I know it was the right thing to do, but losing a beloved pet is so hard after having her in your life for so long. When my Mum's lovely cat and faithful friend died, Dad made her a little book of photos to look at and remember. Maybe in time, but it must be so raw.

I hope your trapped nerve will be sorted today to lessen your stress somewhat. I'm thinking of you. Xx

Hi Rob. Hopefully the podiatrist will have some ideas to input. When we were seeing them for Dad's ulcers, they were very helpful, but I found that they didn't volunteer any information - I had to ask pointed questions or describe a problem we were having and they would make a suggestion. Maybe write down the questions you want to ask? I know what you mean about exercise helping. My dear Mum had rheumatoid arthritis and was in such pain that she couldn't face any exercise at all. It would have been an awful lot different and better for her if she could have done some physio and kept it up. Is it one of those situations when OH would take the advice more seriously from an authority figure like the doctor?

Hi Gill. How are you coping? It's been a long time of living on the edge for you and your dear Dad. You must be in constant turmoil. I do hope you are managing to get some rest and eating well to keep up your strength. From having been in the situation myself, I know it's not easy to do, but if you can........xx xx


The sun is shining this morning and I am in the calm of the storm after hurricane Chico went off to work in a hurry. Hello to everyone else and I hope all is well with you and yours. Have a good day and keep on keeping on

Lots of love, Heidi xx

 

[Louby65]

Aww Jenny , I'm so sorry that you had to lose your dear cat , Molly . That would have been a tough decision but definitely the right one . I've lost a few pets over the years so I know how you are feeling . Sending you a hug ({}). Best wishes , Lou X

 

[nae sporran]

Thanks for the tips and advice Heidi. It is a bit of a vicious circle with arthritis and pains. Sadly OH won't listen to doctors either, so we just have to pace ourselves and take it as it comes. How are you doing yourself?

Sorry I can't offer much Jenny, losing a pet after so many years is hard to take. The look on my sister's face when she had to put her dog down is still with me twenty years on, but she knew it was for his own good.

 

[cat64]

Quick update. Had to have my beautiful cat put to sleep this evening. So sad even though I know it was the right thing to do.

Oh no sending mega hugs, so sad when this happens but obviously right for your old lady so she's not in pain. x... take care......hows the neck and tooth too?
Can you display photos on here so we can see her? would love to one day.

I went to the dentist and have a majorly cracked filling so that explained my pain..got to be brave in a few weeks and have it filled. =[

 

[jknight]

Thanks everybody! I had her since she was six weeks old and she was (and still is) my baby. Thank you for your kind words and support xxx
The tooth is repaired and the neck is getting better, gradually!

 

[jknight]

Thanks everybody! I had her since she was six weeks old and she was (and still is) my baby. Thank you for your kind words and support xxx
The tooth is repaired and the neck is a bit better!
Photo of my girl only two weeks ago. Sorry it's sideways! Not sure how to rotate

 

[Louby65]

Hi Jenny , Molly was certainly a lovely looking cat . It's very sad when we lose them . Glad to hear your tooth and neck better . Hope your mum still doing ok? Best wishes , Lou X

 

[twinklestar]

Has everyone knows by now (who have read my posts) dad does not sleep at night and we have just had three weeks from hell with him.. Don't want to bore anyone with the details but after last night I rang the doctor and told him that I needed emergency respite and explained what had been going on... He decided to come out and assess dad and on telling him that Dad had been having some intermittent shoulder and chest pain he sent us to the hospital.. I've just returned and learned that dad has had a mild heart attack discovered by a blood test as he has a pacemaker.. I feel so bad because I have been losing my patience with him due to lack of sleep... So need a hug please... Also the raid team are going to assess him whilst he is in hospital because his moods are turning to aggression.. I'm just hoping that they will be able to come up with some solution for his sleeplessness.. Feel better now I've got it off my chest.. Exhausted 2015 xx

I felt compelled to respond to your posting and send you a hug. There is no one who understands your situation like those who have been through it or are going through it.

Our mother is now in a nursing home and we did go through a stage where we were getting up more and more in the night. In answer to your question - yes, we did react 'that point'. In our case events took over as our mother a couple of falls and ended up in hospital. She was discharged to a nursing home for respite care and never came home so like you events took over and matters were taken out of our hands. As we had reached 'that point' I do not know how much longer we could have gone on.

My advice would be to ensure that your father is fully assessed and within this assessment you to ensure that the impact on you of looking after you father is taken into account. I am sure you want the best care possible for your father and he will not get that at home if you are always tired. It is not good for you and it is not good for him.

When we start the journey as a carer we know that there are various points along the path where we hit s crisis but inevitably at such points something has to be done.

In all this do not forget about yourself. At such times we all feel guilt. I can only talk about my situation. In our situation I did not feel guilty because we could not have gone on. Our mother is now receiving 24/7 care, she is well looked after and she has gone back to being our mum.

Please see my posting about my visit to my mum today.

 

[Louby65]

Hello Heidi . How are you doing ? Have you thought anymore of a care job? I know you will not be thinking of much until after your dads funeral , but I hope this is an area you follow . Take care . Lou X

 

[exhausted 2015]

I felt compelled to respond to your posting and send you a hug. There is no one who understands your situation like those who have been through it or are going through it.

Our mother is now in a nursing home and we did go through a stage where we were getting up more and more in the night. In answer to your question - yes, we did react 'that point'. In our case events took over as our mother a couple of falls and ended up in hospital. She was discharged to a nursing home for respite care and never came home so like you events took over and matters were taken out of our hands. As we had reached 'that point' I do not know how much longer we could have gone on.

My advice would be to ensure that your father is fully assessed and within this assessment you to ensure that the impact on you of looking after you father is taken into account. I am sure you want the best care possible for your father and he will not get that at home if you are always tired. It is not good for you and it is not good for him.

When we start the journey as a carer we know that there are various points along the path where we hit s crisis but inevitably at such points something has to be done.

In all this do not forget about yourself. At such times we all feel guilt. I can only talk about my situation. In our situation I did not feel guilty because we could not have gone on. Our mother is now receiving 24/7 care, she is well looked after and she has gone back to being our mum.

Please see my posting about my visit to my mum today.

Thank you twinklestar , it helps a lot to hear from other people in similar situations, dad is now being assessed for 24 hour nursing care..... I'm still heartbroken thou ...but thank you xxxx

 

[jknight]

Hello all!

Been dipping into our thread but haven't been up to posting much.

Lou - how are you and your mum doing?
Rob - how is your OH and the pain? I do hope there is some relief?
Jackie - how are things with Dad and the CH?
Alison - is your mum settling into her CH?
Gill - I hope you are sleeping better and feeling a little more rested. How is Dad doing?
Heidi - hope you are OK. Will be thinking of you on Monday.
Twinkle star - lovely to "meet" you!

My mum seems to be getting more isolated. She will go into the garden (briefly) hoping to see a neighbour. Other that she will only leave the house with me and/or OH (or if she has a bill to pay - a whole new area of worry for me as she refuses to set up direct debits and I am far from confident about her remembering to pay)
I also still have major worries about mum's diet. I was convinced she was making sandwiches for tea (seems to have accepted microwavable main courses for lunch - no veg though) Last Saturday, before I took her shopping I found she was eating bread that was a week out of date. Threw the bread away, bought a new loaf and noted the use by date (Tuesday) took her a new loaf on Wednesday only to find only three (or so) slices gone. The loaf I took round on Wednesday hadn't even been opened today.
She has missed 2 days worth of morning tablets out of 5 (I give her the evening tablets as the donepizil isn't in her Nomad box, yet)
She has been very tearful but can't say why. I have read that dementia can amplify tendencies and mum has always been great at emotional blackmail!!
SS say they won't assess her until she needs personal care (to be fair it was a help desk I spoke to)
Lost my beloved cat on Tuesday. Youngest daughter starting her first IVF cycle tomorrow. (Mum doesn't know any of it as she won't remember and I have no intetion of upsetting her) I often wonder what I did in a previous life that was so bad!! It never rains but it pours. So glad of my friends, here, who listen and don't judge xxxxx