In need of a virtual hug

[Shedrech]

You've had a tough day exhausted 2015 - no wonder you are weepy
get some sleep and regroup in the morning
may well be useful to take up the offer to give yourself time to recuperate and consider everything
but for now have a cuppa, pet that little cutie of yours and have a rest
wish I could do or say more to help

 

[tryingmybest]

Oh my darling I so feel for you. I don't really know what to say to you. I'm sure you were just hoping for a miracle that there was a way to help your poor Dad. All I can do is send you lots of love and a big hug. I'm so sad for you that you are so upset. xxxxx

 

[DMac]

I'm still undecided but may go for there suggestion and after respite bring him home and see how we are coping... Thanks again everyone for your concern.. A big hug to you all from a tearful exhausted xxx
Sorry if the post is a bit muddled.. I'm a mess today xx

Exhausted, I think you are truly exhausted now. First, get some sleep. Second, re-read your post from today. It's not that muddled...actually it's clear that the assessment team really, really want to help you. Respite care is a good first step. When you've had a chance to think about it, I hope you will see that it will help YOU as well as your dad. Take care and try to sleep well. We are thinking of you. xx

 

[exhausted 2015]

Oh my darling I so feel for you. I don't really know what to say to you. I'm sure you were just hoping for a miracle that there was a way to help your poor Dad. All I can do is send you lots of love and a big hug. I'm so sad for you that you are so upset. xxxxx

Thanks to both of you and Shedrech is right I need to sleep on it and get my thinking head on tomorrow and yes I think I was hoping for a"magic pill" but I know there isn't any. I did manage to blub to them that I had found a lot of support from you good people.
But was surprised that they were not aware of talking point.. Bless you all again xx

 

[hvml]

I am so sorry to hear that you didn't get better news exhausted. You have some time and with the better sleep that you have been getting enabling you to think objectively, are in the difficult position of deciding what is the best way to deal with this heartbreaking situation and what you are going to be able to cope with. IMHO, you should factor in not only what is best for your dear Dad, but also what is best for you.

Thinking of you.

((((((((Lots of love and hugs)))))))))))

Heidi xx

 

[Louby65]

Hi exhausted2015. What a difficult day for you , my heart goes out to you. I can truly empathise with you as you struggle with your emotions over what's best for your precious dad . What is best for him is having a healthy and happy daughter and if this disease had not robbed him of his rational thinking then he would ask you to put yourself first . We all try to do our best to look after our parents , spouses etc but sometimes we can't . I for one realised that nearly 2 years ago when I was going through a very bad time trying to look after my mum . I still have dark days but things have improved , however I do know if things had continued to get worse then I would have asked that my mum be looked after by caring , professional people who make up a team looking after people with dementia . Please note I said team because there comes a time when a team is needed , one or two people working in isolation can't do it . I hope I don't get to that stage but I hope I recognise it , if and when it happens . Please don't be hard on yourself , you have done such a wonderful 'job' of looking after your dad and you can still do that by making sure he gets the best care possible . I'm sending you a massive hug. Lou xx

 

[exhausted 2015]

Hi exhausted2015. What a difficult day for you , my heart goes out to you. I can truly empathise with you as you struggle with your emotions over what's best for your precious dad . What is best for him is having a healthy and happy daughter and if this disease had not robbed him of his rational thinking then he would ask you to put yourself first . We all try to do our best to look after our parents , spouses etc but sometimes we can't . I for one realised that nearly 2 years ago when I was going through a very bad time trying to look after my mum . I still have dark days but things have improved , however I do know if things had continued to get worse then I would have asked that my mum be looked after by caring , professional people who make up a team looking after people with dementia . Please note I said team because there comes a time when a team is needed , one or two people working in isolation can't do it . I hope I don't get to that stage but I hope I recognise it , if and when it happens . Please don't be hard on yourself , you have done such a wonderful 'job' of looking after your dad and you can still do that by making sure he gets the best care possible . I'm sending you a massive hug. Lou xx

Thank you Heidi and lou xx yesterday was truly awful.. Things have moved fast today and dad is now on the dementia wing of our mental health hospital xx first impressions are.. I was impressed with the staff and the cleanliness of the whole wing.. Dad will remain there until the 30th he will then go for the week's respite.. By which time oh andi I will hopefully be rested enough to continue to care for him back at home... The mental health team have picked up on his obsessive behaviour and are going to try to curb it.. I didn't want to take the risk that he actually didn't want to go to the toilet and just wanted to go to wash himself down with toilet water and toilet paper.. Really hope that they can do something to help with this... The nurse in charge also told me that they will try to get his sleep pattern altered. ( good luck with that one) dad doesn't know that he is in a mental institut as he does not except that he has dementia.. Told him a love lie this evening as he was aware that he had been moved from the ward.. I told him that he had been moved to a place where he could conveless.. I'm still feeling emotional.. I just hope that I have made the right decision and all this moving around won't make him more confused.. Sorry for the rambling post.. A big hug to you all again xx

 

[hvml]

(((((((((((Hi exhausted)))))))))))))
Things certainly have moved quickly. I feel a certain relief for you that your position has been recognised and that your dear Dad is in a safe, clean place for a while. You really will be able to regain your strength and regroup while the dementia unit do their best by him. If they achieve what they have stated as their objectives, things will be so much more manageable for you. I think you have made a very wise decision and you should have faith in your good judgment as it will surely benefit you all. We call them Love lies for a reason and your love shines through like the northern lights. IMHO now is the time for you to regain your strength and let others help for a moment.

Xx

 

[exhausted 2015]

(((((((((((Hi exhausted)))))))))))))
Things certainly have moved quickly. I feel a certain relief for you that your position has been recognised and that your dear Dad is in a safe, clean place for a while. You really will be able to regain your strength and regroup while the dementia unit do their best by him. If they achieve what they have stated as their objectives, things will be so much more manageable for you. I think you have made a very wise decision and you should have faith in your good judgment as it will surely benefit you all. We call them Love lies for a reason and your love shines through like the northern lights. IMHO now is the time for you to regain your strength and let others help for a moment.

Xx

Thanks again Heidi for your support xxx Hope that you have had a good day and that your dad is OK xxx

 

[hvml]

Morning exhausted.

We had quite a hard day yesterday, as Dad had a bad reaction to his antibiotics and was super confused. I told the doc, who is sending out a different tablet and will make a note of the bad reaction in his file. They should be out of his system by now, so here's hoping that today is a better day.

Xx

 

[hvml]

Just to say that things are looking much better today. Dad has had his breakfast and is looking at the television guide to see what he fancies watching. Have a good day yourself exhausted.

Xx

 

[nae sporran]

Morning Exhausted. I have read some of your posts over the last few days and am pleased it sounds a bit more positive again. You said y were worried about moving your dad too much, but the 30th is three weeks away so that should hopefully give him time to settle. All the best, Rob.

 

[nae sporran]

Just to say that things are looking much better today. Dad has had his breakfast and is looking at the television guide to see what he fancies watching. Have a good day yourself exhausted.

Xx

Morning Heidi. Thanks for you advice the last few days on another thread, can I just interrupt and say I am pleased to hear your dad is doing well today.

 

[hvml]

Hi Rob. Thanks for that . Dad has been much more with it, but tired. He has slept all day and is ready to go to bed now. Those antibiotics must have taken it out of him. Usually after a sleepy day, he is wakeful the next, so hopefully I will have a bit more company tomorrow!!

Hi exhausted. I hope you have had a good day and both you and your Dad are starting to feel more settled.

Xx

 

[exhausted 2015]

Hi Rob. Thanks for that . Dad has been much more with it, but tired. He has slept all day and is ready to go to bed now. Those antibiotics must have taken it out of him. Usually after a sleepy day, he is wakeful the next, so hopefully I will have a bit more company tomorrow!!

Hi exhausted. I hope you have had a good day and both you and your Dad are starting to feel more settled.

Xx

Good evening all ...firstly I am pleased to hear that your dad is doing OK Heidi xx been to see dad again today and he does not seem to concerned about his new surroundings but he did ask how long he had to stay ...to which I replied " it will be just until you are feeling stronger " and then the subject was forgotten... Bless him .... I still remain impressed with the care and attention he his receiving and don't think it is just when a visitor is present... I spoke to a male carer who was previously a soldier and he informed me that he had got dad chatting about his service in ww2 ......but guess what...dad did not sleep last night and is still making countless trips to the bathroom ...I think their targets may be a bit to ambitious... Thanks again all xxxxxx

 

[fizzie]

Sounds good exhaustedxx on the whole seems to be going in the right direction for your Pa and you are getting a decent amount of rest - enjoy xxx

 

[Louby65]

Hi exhausted2015, I'm glad that you are pleased with the care your dad is receiving . You are going through enough without that worry . I really hope they do manage to change some of his sleep pattern to allow him to settle more especially when he comes back home . Take this time to recharge and look after yourself . Best wishes , Lou x

 

[hvml]

Thanks exhausted. I am relieved ! Glad to hear that your Dad has settled down and that a fellow serviceman has shown him the respect that he deserves re the war. My Dad was only a teenager and was in submarines. I have tried to get someone to come and talk to him about it, but........no joy.
What they went through we can only imagine.

It's not a surprise to hear that your Dad is still not sleeping, but a shame all the same. Still.....it's early days. We can but hope. You must be feeling so much better for the rest!! I know I did when I had a full week off. It stood me in good stead.

Xx

 

[exhausted 2015]

Thanks exhausted. I am relieved ! Glad to hear that your Dad has settled down and that a fellow serviceman has shown him the respect that he deserves re the war. My Dad was only a teenager and was in submarines. I have tried to get someone to come and talk to him about it, but........no joy.
What they went through we can only imagine.

It's not a surprise to hear that your Dad is still not sleeping, but a shame all the same. Still.....it's early days. We can but hope. You must be feeling so much better for the rest!! I know I did when I had a full week off. It stood me in good stead.

Xx

Hi Heidi. Can't sleep tonight hence still on tp sorry to hear that your dad cannot find someone to chat to ...how about the British legion could they help ? Xxx dad will not talk about the action he was involved in but more of the light hearted side of things ..but lately we hear the same stories over and over again... Going to try to get some sleep again now xx thanks also to Lou and fizzie for their continued support... These are dark days for me but there is some light on here ...goodnight everyone hope that it is a peaceful one xxx

 

[hvml]

Morning exhausted. I hope you got to sleep eventually. I hate those wakeful hours late at night. Actually, I have been better since I cut down on caffeine in the afternoon. I just have herbal / decaff tea and it's made a huge difference. I know yours is due to worry, but might it help you too?
Thanks for reminding me about the British Legion. I'll give them a try next week. I'm so sorry that you are going through such a bad time. This is what people refer to on here as a crisis. You are bang in the thick of it. It's quick for the authorities to say - we are going to do this and this, but you have been living through it and you know that there is no quick fix!!

Keep your spirits up ❇

Lots of love Heidi xx