In just ten months

sue_1

Registered User
Mar 29, 2017
88
Bristol
ten months ago mum was going to the shops, hairdresser and doctors by herself, showering and bathing was a definite no no to the point she was smelling,no problems with toileting, and doing her own online banking and finances using house phone and mobile, mum was nasty verbally and always enjoyed a good family row ( normally she was the one causing the rows ) but now she walks around house with a walker, couldn’t do any banking now, forgotten how to use phones, can not walk any further than the garden gate even that is getting to much now, the last few months has not said a bad word to anyone ( I am always waiting for that though lol ) toileting has become a night mare ( cleaning carpets at ten last night, mum can put a muck spreader to shame...sigh.....) and for the first time I managed to shower mum myself this morning I didn’t give her a choice but all I said was mum after last night you must have a shower I then walked off to bathroom and put shower on when I turned round there she was starkers omg my eyes were burning lol but it was all over and done with so quick we both got over the embarrassment quickly .Unfortunatly she still will not talk to my other half but we have made ourselves a tiny sitting room so we can relax in there on an evening I just pop into sitting room to give mum a cup of tea but I think mum enjoys being on her own now and again. Is it supposed to get easier? I just hope it’s not the calm befor the storm.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,300
South coast
There is no knowing exactly what will happen in the future or when. The trick is that if its working enjoy it for the moment. Deal with problems as and when they arise.
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,237
65
Toronto, Canada
Everyone's journey with dementia is completely individual. There is no telling when a person will lose abilities. Normally, one of the first things to go is the ability to tell time, yet my mother was accurately reading her watch long after most people. I used to surreptitiously test her by saying "My watch stopped - do you have the time?" and this woman who was now incontinent, didn't know where or when she was and mostly didn't know who I was would give me the time in a heartbeat.

It's interesting how you say your mother is much calmer and nicer now. I have heard of these complete changes in behaviour many times. My mother, who was a very proper well-mannered person when she was well, turned into a horrible, nasty person for a long while.
 

pipd

Registered User
Apr 12, 2015
78
Leigh on Sea Essex
I agree with @canary, there really is no point trying to anticipate what might happen next or when it might happen. From experience, I can say that my mum went through most of the expected stages of dementia but not in a nice orderly fashion or in the timescales often written about. Some of the stages I didn't even notice until after she passed away and I thought back on my time caring for her, it was then that I'd suddenly realise that something she did (or didn't) do was actually a stage. Thankfully I just managed to deal with each hurdle as it occurred and din't give too much thought at the time to it being a stage closer to the 'end stage'.
 

myss

Registered User
Jan 14, 2018
430
I just pop into sitting room to give mum a cup of tea but I think mum enjoys being on her own now and again. Is it supposed to get easier? I just hope it’s not the calm befor the storm.
My dad was very much an outgoing person in his pre-dementia days but now there are times he seems ok with a bit of alone time too, I think more so to sleep during the day without someone trying to get him to take tablets, go out to do tasks, etc.
His decline has been in stages with each task that he was able to do himself going after each other. The going out one was from diagnosis and I felt that was more out of choice than being forgetful of how to do it as he was doing everything else himself. Then was cooking, the sequence of tablets, etc. I think he doesn't do anything himself apart from walking unaided, although it's pretty slow. From just going out less to only being able to walk unaided (and go toilet although there have been occasional accidents) it been about 2 to 2.5 years.

I'm not sure about getting easier part although I note the bad moods have been at a minimum for a good few months now.