Hello, I wonder if anyone out there could give me some advice please? I care for my 77-year-old mum-in-law who has dementia, at this stage not formally diagnosed. She lives with my 82-year-old dad-in-law, who also suffers some cognitive impairment following some major surgery. I would like to know some strategies to help overcome my mum-in-law's denial about the seriousness of her condition, so that she can come to terms with it, and accept the help that is (or could be) available to her. My sister-in-law, who also provides care for them, took Mum-in-law to the doctor today, and the doctor has arranged for a referral to the local mental health hospital for an assessment. I understand it will take about a month for the appointment to take place. Meanwhile, I am visiting 3 or more times per week to bring them a cooked dinner, and I often eat with them. I also leave them a meal for the next day. I do this because Mum-in-law has recently lost all interest in food, and it seems the ability to prepare even the simplest meals. On some occasions, I have found the festering remains of half-eaten ready meals in the fridge or the microwave. As a result, she has lost a lot of weight recently. I can carry on with this arrangement for a few weeks, but not indefinitely as it is, in effect, preventing me from getting a job (I was employed until very recently). My sister-in-law, who also provides care for them, suggested that she should try meals-on-wheels, but she adamantly refuses to accept this. I think she objects because of the association with "old people". I have checked to see if there is an alternative provider of a hot meals service, but unfortunately not so in the area where they live. So it seems that I have no choice but to continue bringing meals to them at this time. Another issue we face is that she is adamant that she is able to continue driving, but we have real concerns about her driving skills. (Dad-in-law gave up driving years ago, thankfully). She does not drive very frequently, which is a blessing. Because we bring everything to them or order things online, she really has no need for a car at all. Unfortunately, she does not cope with learning new routines very well, so I do not believe she could cope with ordering taxis. I did phone her doctor's surgery to tell them that we think she should not be driving any more, so I am hoping the doctor can help with this. The difficulty we face is whenever one of us (their children) tries to raise the subject, she just gets very defensive and tearful. I have raised these issues with Social Services, to see if we can get a re-assessment of their care needs. Dad-in-law is already a customer following an operation for bowel cancer in January 2014. He has agency carers visiting him every morning, and my sister-in-law provides night-time care. Social Services will do the reassessment, but they tell me this could be some weeks away, and they are challenging me to put in additional care at our own expense in the meantime. This would not only be expensive (Dad-in-law is currently self-funding), but also I fear would not be acceptable to mum-in-law, for the same reason she refuses meals-on-wheels. I feel very frightened for them, and really unsure what to do for the best. Obviously, the last thing I want to do is to leave them in a vulnerable state, but I feel I cannot do much more for them at this stage, especially given Mum-in-law's pride and unwillingness to understand that she needs help now. Any advice you could give me would be very welcome. Thank you.