1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. witsend~1

    witsend~1 Registered User

    Jul 16, 2014
    31
    North Lincolnshire
    My husband (age 76) was diagnosed almost 2 years ago. I first began to note odd events in 2012 and now in retrospect I realise that he had symptoms at least 12 - 15 years ago. My problem is that he is in complete denial to the extent that he will aggressively challenge anyone (Inc Medical profession) who suggest otherwise. This makes it impossible for me to get help as his sole carer. I am quite a few years younger and I still work full time (necessity and my only respite!)
    He is incapable of helping around the house and garden. He does occasionally try but to be honest I spend more time explaining and then re-doing it.
    He sometimes poo's as he can't get to the loo in time and has recently wet the bed (Incontinence mattress protectors just ordered in secret and will be discretely fitted.
    He had a home memory assessment 12 months ago and nothing since. Two clinic psychiatrist visits which resulted in him walking out in rage because of the 'Alzheimers' word and 4 or 5 CPN home visits.
    He's had several falls (one resulting in ambulance trip to A&E where they failed to contact me, I found out from a neighbour. I got a 'fall' monitor fitted through Age UK..excellent help from them but he refuses to wear it!
    Sorry to go on, there are so many out there that are much worse off then me but I am just so fed up because I feel like my life is over and all I have to look forward to is more of this and feeling tired and isolated...No offers of help from his children (2nd marriage for us both) I am in my 60's but want to continue working as long as I can for my own sanity (I also need the money)..selfish some would say but necessary.
    It would be easier if he would accept it, but I'm not cruel and don't mention it.
    Rant Over....Rant Over....rant over....whoops repeating myself...Sorry I have to lighten my mood ...:D
     
  2. spurs50

    spurs50 Registered User

    Nov 11, 2012
    16
    Denial

    When my mum was first diagnosed over 10 years ago, she was frightened by the term dementia and wanted reassurance that it was only dementia. She refused any kind of help two or three years later as she was in denial. It took a fall to put her in hospital and a a meeting to ensure she had a care package when she came out. Since then she first accepted help and is in her latter stages of, guess what, it is Alzheimer's.
    Those early years were hard though as I felt tired as mum only wanted me and was in complete denial of anything being wrong. I felt torn being at work and getting phone calls. However it did pass and although she still takes up a lot of my time. I feel easier. It is good to be on this forum as other members do give help and advice, I feel for what you are going through.
     
  3. witsend~1

    witsend~1 Registered User

    Jul 16, 2014
    31
    North Lincolnshire
    His Grandad had it as well ....(we all know its not genetic!) and I honestly think it is that memory that scares him. He has even commented on programmes we have seen on TV about it saying it must be awful!
    Thankyou for your reply. Hopefully it won't take a fall.
    Take Care x
     

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