In denial

[Francisco]

As a result if her dementia, my wife of more than four decades has adopted numerous “alternative facts”. I have spoken about some of these before and have had helpful advice regarding for example her belief that she has no money, that she must return to her childhood home and that people are constantly entering the house and stealing things.
I find it more difficult with recent developments, i.e., that we are not married and that our house is her house. I have provided copious evidence of our marriage and house ownership to no lasting effect, and any persistence on my part just causes argument and stress for both of us. To just let it all wash over me plays to her idea that I’m a visitor, a guest, a good friend who she can rely on for just about everything. But does going along with her delusions accelerate the growing disconnection between us? Does it matter?

 

[MartinWL]

Familiar tale alas. Whether it matters or not you cannot defeat this unfortunately. Attempting to provide proof probably will not work. The consensus seems to be that you will just have to ignore the distress to yourself and not argue with her, just change the subject if you can. Not easy, but nothing about dementia care is easy.

 

[Francisco]

MartinWL, that helps. I've been finding it very stressful because I've been challenging the delusions - and that in turn just makes it more stressful for my wife. Thank you.