My mother was diagnosed with dementia last July. I had persuaded her to ask her GP about her worsening memory problems, and she was referred to the relevant specialist who prescribed Aricept. She also takes various other tablets for blood pressure and other ailments - that is when she remembers. I bought her a dosette box to put her tablets in for the week , and both doctors asked if I would supervise filling up the box. Unfortunately my mother will not let me - she thinks she is perfectly capable of doing it herself and gets very angry if I suggest checking. I do sometimes sneak a look in the box, and invariably she has forgotten her tablets two or three times in the week.
She is completely in denial about her condition and will accept no help with anything. Age Concern used to visit but have just told me they will go no more as my mother doesn't want any help from them. The Occupational Therapist visits and suggested a referral to Social Services for a visitor to check she has taken her medication. She got angry with him, told him that there was nothing wrong with her and would not consider the referral.
She lives alone and spends the day fiddling with things - a couple of weeks ago she had thrown away all the telephones in the house - after buying a complicated set of three digital phones and getting me to programme them for her. Today she told me she would have to buy a new television as it wasn't working - upon inspection I noticed she had pulled the plug out. Once she left a kettle on the gas and nearly set the house on fire - but dismisses this as a momentary lapse that she will not do again.
I am her only child, and only relative under 80 that she has regular contact with. She is socially isolated, yet claims that she has lots of friends who visit her all the time. She needs my help yet doesn't admit it. It's me who sorts things out when she does silly things like agreeing to pay £4000 to cowboys who knock on the door wanting to re-do the drive. Frequently she accuses me of stealing from her - I have power of attorney so can keep an eye on her bank accounts but have never withdrawn any money. She keeps telling me that the bank tells her I have been taking cash out. She also accused me of stealing her jewellery - then found it in a drawer.
I spend all the time worrying about what she is doing to endanger herself, yet I dread visiting her as she is so mean to me. I am the only person who is taking any responsibility for her, I want somebody to share this - I work full time but I worry that I will become ill if something doesn't change. In three weeks time I am going on holiday for a fortnight. Last time I went to Asia I hired a local mobile phone so I could speak to her every day - I spent a fortune to contact her to be told that she is fine every day. I'm not doing it again, I shall be out of contact - and of course I shall feel guilty and worried sick that some crisis will occur and me unable to do anything.
She is mobile and physically fit, so I anticipate that I may be having to cope with this worsening situation until I am into my 70s, not sure how long I can stand it on my own.
Thanks for reading this.
Barbara
She is completely in denial about her condition and will accept no help with anything. Age Concern used to visit but have just told me they will go no more as my mother doesn't want any help from them. The Occupational Therapist visits and suggested a referral to Social Services for a visitor to check she has taken her medication. She got angry with him, told him that there was nothing wrong with her and would not consider the referral.
She lives alone and spends the day fiddling with things - a couple of weeks ago she had thrown away all the telephones in the house - after buying a complicated set of three digital phones and getting me to programme them for her. Today she told me she would have to buy a new television as it wasn't working - upon inspection I noticed she had pulled the plug out. Once she left a kettle on the gas and nearly set the house on fire - but dismisses this as a momentary lapse that she will not do again.
I am her only child, and only relative under 80 that she has regular contact with. She is socially isolated, yet claims that she has lots of friends who visit her all the time. She needs my help yet doesn't admit it. It's me who sorts things out when she does silly things like agreeing to pay £4000 to cowboys who knock on the door wanting to re-do the drive. Frequently she accuses me of stealing from her - I have power of attorney so can keep an eye on her bank accounts but have never withdrawn any money. She keeps telling me that the bank tells her I have been taking cash out. She also accused me of stealing her jewellery - then found it in a drawer.
I spend all the time worrying about what she is doing to endanger herself, yet I dread visiting her as she is so mean to me. I am the only person who is taking any responsibility for her, I want somebody to share this - I work full time but I worry that I will become ill if something doesn't change. In three weeks time I am going on holiday for a fortnight. Last time I went to Asia I hired a local mobile phone so I could speak to her every day - I spent a fortune to contact her to be told that she is fine every day. I'm not doing it again, I shall be out of contact - and of course I shall feel guilty and worried sick that some crisis will occur and me unable to do anything.
She is mobile and physically fit, so I anticipate that I may be having to cope with this worsening situation until I am into my 70s, not sure how long I can stand it on my own.
Thanks for reading this.
Barbara