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In a play

CucumberWhisky

Registered User
Sep 23, 2015
56
Surrey
Hi everyone

I've been looking at TP over the last few months and found so many threads that are heart breaking and useful, but not actually posted so please forgive me if I get anything wrong.

Short history: Mum (91) with early mixed dementia, but I can hold a conversation with her most of the time. She's not very mobile at all and uses her frame most of the time.

She said this afternoon, and I hope I've interpreted it correctly, that she felt she was a character in a play and that at the end she would be in hospital and everyone else would leave and go about their ordinary lives. I wasn't sure how to respond to this but I'm sure there are some wonderful people out there to help me in case she says it again.

Thank you for a wonderful forum which has helped me greatly over the last few months.

CW
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
8,791
Yorkshire
Hi CucumberWhisky (interesting blend?)
I wonder, did your mum seem distressed when she said this?
To me it sounds a remarkably calm way to envisage her situation - almost Shakespearean "our little life is rounded with a sleep"
If she was calm and content that others' lives will carry on, maybe just pick up her tone and reassure her that you will live on keeping her with you in memory close to your heart
if she was distressed, I guess assure her you will be with her and hold her hand - then distract onto sharing some happy memories? and a cuppa
 

CucumberWhisky

Registered User
Sep 23, 2015
56
Surrey
Hi Shedrech

Thanks for responding. Yes, she was calm but she does get depressed quite a bit so I suggested, and gave her, a quarter of a Citalopram tablet she had been prescribed. She's fine at the moment. She's always been very well read - not necessarily Shakespeare - and I think this stems back to when she was in hospital after her mini stroke in Nov 2014 when she said all the ward staff were acting one night. I wondered then what she was talking about and it's obviously stuck with her.

Btw (still learning all the shorthand!) I won't be able to respond very quickly every time as I have to set up the laptop each time, but will read any responses and thank you in advance.
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,730
Hello there, your Mum sounds delightfully creative and very expressive. What a joy to have such an imagination and a way with words x
I agree that I would just reassure her that you will always be with her and she will always be with you in so many different ways and a cuppa is always a great solution too!!! Well in our house it is and I was in a care home the other day and a lady was being very challenging and I said to her 'shall we have tea' and she stopped hellraising and whispered to me 'sit down, tuppa tea tuppa tea tuppa tea , yes, yes' and so we did and all was well :). Sidetracked a little there but it made me smile

Do keep posting xx
 

cragmaid

Registered User
Oct 18, 2010
7,941
North East England
I think you handled this very well. My Mum used to know that she would eventually be leaving me. In fact, by the end, she was more distressed by the length of time it was taking but she was content that I was telling her the truth that her time would come.

Has your Mum been prescrible a particularly low dosage of Citolopram for a reason? I believe it is a drug which needs to be taken for some time and at a set dosage to get the best results. ( This was the way it was prescribed for my Mum).
Regards, Maureen.
 

CucumberWhisky

Registered User
Sep 23, 2015
56
Surrey
Hello there, your Mum sounds delightfully creative and very expressive. What a joy to have such an imagination and a way with words x
I agree that I would just reassure her that you will always be with her and she will always be with you in so many different ways and a cuppa is always a great solution too!!! Well in our house it is and I was in a care home the other day and a lady was being very challenging and I said to her 'shall we have tea' and she stopped hellraising and whispered to me 'sit down, tuppa tea tuppa tea tuppa tea , yes, yes' and so we did and all was well :). Sidetracked a little there but it made me smile

Do keep posting xx
Thanks, fizzie. For cuppa I'll substitute coffee if you don't mind! I'll keep posting too.

CW
 

CucumberWhisky

Registered User
Sep 23, 2015
56
Surrey
I think you handled this very well. My Mum used to know that she would eventually be leaving me. In fact, by the end, she was more distressed by the length of time it was taking but she was content that I was telling her the truth that her time would come.

Has your Mum been prescrible a particularly low dosage of Citolopram for a reason? I believe it is a drug which needs to be taken for some time and at a set dosage to get the best results. ( This was the way it was prescribed for my Mum).
Regards, Maureen.
Thanks, Cragmaid. Mum was prescribed Mertazapine but after I'd only given her half a tablet she fell asleep (nothing new there as she sleeps a lot). On waking she was very dizzy and, as it was coming up to bedtime, and I'm on my own, there was no way she was having any more. With the Citalopram I'm just being cautious. I gave her a half earlier and she seems OK.

Regards
CW
 

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