SW e-mails to advise me as family POC a time and date for an MDT meeting for pre-discharge from hospital and says she has already been speaking to an elder sibling the day before. I get a call from the hospital psychiatrist shortly after asking me to come into the hospital- for what I believe to be a discussion about my dementia suffering parent, but it transpired the psychologist had not even spoken to my parent and it became apparent I was being assessed. On receipt of the SW e-mail I forward this to my 4 siblings to advise of the meeting and asking if they wish to attend and to advise me so that the hospital can be advised in turn. I receive an e-mail back from one saying we already know. 3 of my siblings turn up for the MDT meeting without contacting me. They visit fairly infrequently- 2 because of distance, and none of whom have proffered financial assistance or responses to email updates and feedback on homes sought. They have quite clearly been colluding for two of them to take their parent out at the weekend, to support their position of care, despite not normally have the confidence to take their parent out. This resulted in a very extreme reaction on trying to return their parent to the hospital and a physical and abusive resistance to staff outside the unit for half an hour. This has resulted in all three siblings concurring at the MDT meeting with the consultant and SW, 20 year old nurse and psychologist (they rarely see my parent- except for the young nurse) to amend the care plan prior to discharge to indicate that the patient is psychically aggressive and prevent any further excursions from the ward until discharge and a further 6 weeks at the new home (A small upper floor unit.) This is 7 weeks 2 days in total. I take my parent out every visit. This is around 5 times a week on average. Either a walk, going for coffee, shopping and what ever they fancy. I never have any problem returning. Questions sometimes as where we are going, but these are answered in various ways without resistance. My parent is very fit, muddled but very communicative. I stated in the MDT meeting that this restriction will make my parent stir crazy and make them rebel more. As expected my parent was questioning me saying that they said they were not allowed out when I approached them after the meeting. My family all went home without even speaking to my parent. The doctor said I was pessimistic and should try to let my parent settle in the new home and suggested I try not to visit for two months. He advised my siblings they should tell my parent, when questioned about DOL that the Dr had said so, in order to divert any blame against a family member. I have been deposed of POC and none of the family wanted to deal with the transfer to the new home. My eldest sibling asked the Dr should we leave my parent for a week to allow them to settle in. He agreed. I said that they will feel left abandoned. None of the residents on the small unit they are being placed in have any level of verbal communication. In the space of a weekend my family have succeeded in agreeing to place their parent in a home that is miles from anyone, with no-one but staff to talk to and full restrictions to liberty. I fear that the reaction to this will result in resistance, confrontation and extreme upset to my parent and consequently increased medication and distress. Any advice please?
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