Imminent carers assessment. I am at the end of my tether!

[polly1]

I am at the end of my tether and am reaching breaking point.
My husband has PCA diagnosed in 2011 aged 57. He has deteriorated at an alarming rate since the beginning of this year. I am convinced this was linked to a change of drug manufacture of the donezepil he was on. He is now on Aricept at 5mg a day with a view to this being increased to 10mg in a weeks time. He has endured focal seizures, anxiety and aggression. He is up every 2 hours at night and paces constantly during the day.
He goes walkabout if he manages to get out of the house. He can do vertically nothing for himself and at times is violent towards me. We saw a psychiatrist last week and she started him on 10mg of Citalopram for 28 days. I work 2/3 days each week as this is the only income we have. His PIP payments just cover the cost of carers.
He has complex medical needs (including being almost blind). I wonder what the outcome of the upcoming assessment will be? Has anyone any experience of this scenario or similar please? He has savings above the threshold but these are dwindling fast as I need them to live on. Having had so little sleep for months I can hardly go on.

 

[Cat27]

What do you want from the assessment? More care? Respite?
Don't be afraid to ask for what you need as they don't always offer stuff.

 

[polly1]

I definitely need more care for him. If they offer respite I will take it but the big question is will I want him home again? Such a heartbreaking scenario.

 

[Shedrech]

Morning Polly1
yes, it is heartbreaking
so I hope the assessor does see how much you both need much more support
Cat27's right - if you don't make it absolutely clear that you are on the verge of not coping at all, they may not pick this up, or attempt to fudge it - be brutally open about how your husband is behaving - maybe prepare and print a list of his behaviours, your concerns and what you need to have happen
you seem to be considering full time care - it's no reflection on your abilities as a carer or your commitment to and love for him as his wife if you really feel that living in a care home now will best meet his needs - such a tough decision but if it's the right one for you both go ahead and ask for it
I'm sorry money is so tight, make that clear too - maybe sometime soon visit CAB to see if there's any help available to you personally
best wishes to you both

 

[polly1]

Thank you Shedrech
We do have savings quite a bit more than the threshold but I need these to draw on for living.
We own our house as Tenants in Common. I wonder if that means it is 'ring fenced' as far as paying care fees is concerned?
I will certainly draft a statement detailing exactly what has and is going on and that I can't take any more .