There are times when I feel a total and utter failure as a daughter.
Went to see mum in the home yesterday during my lunch break, and when i got off the lift, she was standing outside her room with a t-shirt and 2 jumpers on (it was about 26 degrees!!) She also had a bundle of clothes rolled up under her arm,and as soon as she saw me assumed I had come to take her home. I managed to get her back in her room and to take off at least one of her jumpers, but she just kept going on and on about going home. I tried to remain calm, and just kept repeating that she was just going to stay there for a while and that I couldn't take her anywhere as I was going back to work.
I thought I'd distract her by saying that we'd go and sit in the sun for a little while and took some drinks out with us. She seemed to enjoy it for about 5 minutes, but then she started going on and on again about going home. When I said we'd go back in she was adamant that she wasn't going in there - 'I don't like it' In the end I just got up and said come on and thankfully she did follow me.
Once I got her in the room I managed to get her to play a game of rummikub and i nipped out to the nursing station to let them know that I might have a few problems when I left. But when I said that I had to go back to work, she jumped up got her bag and started to follow me out.
I felt really freaked out as I didn't know how to handle her (She's always been a stubborn person prone to mood swings if you didn't do what she wanted) To be honest I just felt as if I wanted to escape.
Then today, I got a phone call from the home to say that they'd had to move her into the EMI section of the home as she was trying to leave. With the excessive heat, they've got the doors open so that the residents can sit outside. I felt that I should really go and see her, nut I just felt as though I couldn't cope with it today. I phoned the home back a little while later, and they said that she had settled down and was helping the carers to set the table. They were just going to wait a while and when she was really settled, they were going to move her back upstairs to her room.
I'm thankful that she calmed down, but now I'm wondering what she's going to be like when I go at the weekend. That's why I feel such a coward cos I just don't know how to deal with her. My brother seems to have the knack to calm her down and thankfully the home normally call him first. I don't know whether to leave it for a few days before I go in or whether I'm just chickening out.
I'm sure once I've had a good sleep, I'll feel able to cope tomorrow, but if anyone out there has a parent whose whole life is consumed with going home, then being terrified of being on their own, I'd be grateful with tips on how to deal with it.
Freaked out Libs
Went to see mum in the home yesterday during my lunch break, and when i got off the lift, she was standing outside her room with a t-shirt and 2 jumpers on (it was about 26 degrees!!) She also had a bundle of clothes rolled up under her arm,and as soon as she saw me assumed I had come to take her home. I managed to get her back in her room and to take off at least one of her jumpers, but she just kept going on and on about going home. I tried to remain calm, and just kept repeating that she was just going to stay there for a while and that I couldn't take her anywhere as I was going back to work.
I thought I'd distract her by saying that we'd go and sit in the sun for a little while and took some drinks out with us. She seemed to enjoy it for about 5 minutes, but then she started going on and on again about going home. When I said we'd go back in she was adamant that she wasn't going in there - 'I don't like it' In the end I just got up and said come on and thankfully she did follow me.
Once I got her in the room I managed to get her to play a game of rummikub and i nipped out to the nursing station to let them know that I might have a few problems when I left. But when I said that I had to go back to work, she jumped up got her bag and started to follow me out.
I felt really freaked out as I didn't know how to handle her (She's always been a stubborn person prone to mood swings if you didn't do what she wanted) To be honest I just felt as if I wanted to escape.
Then today, I got a phone call from the home to say that they'd had to move her into the EMI section of the home as she was trying to leave. With the excessive heat, they've got the doors open so that the residents can sit outside. I felt that I should really go and see her, nut I just felt as though I couldn't cope with it today. I phoned the home back a little while later, and they said that she had settled down and was helping the carers to set the table. They were just going to wait a while and when she was really settled, they were going to move her back upstairs to her room.
I'm thankful that she calmed down, but now I'm wondering what she's going to be like when I go at the weekend. That's why I feel such a coward cos I just don't know how to deal with her. My brother seems to have the knack to calm her down and thankfully the home normally call him first. I don't know whether to leave it for a few days before I go in or whether I'm just chickening out.
I'm sure once I've had a good sleep, I'll feel able to cope tomorrow, but if anyone out there has a parent whose whole life is consumed with going home, then being terrified of being on their own, I'd be grateful with tips on how to deal with it.
Freaked out Libs