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I'm still waiting!

SueShell

Registered User
Sep 13, 2012
395
Orpington
I am still waiting for SS to contact me with regard to Mum's permanent placement in the NH. She was transferred from hospital and has now been there 4 months. The social worker told me they were reviewing mums case at committee three Thursdays ago and i still haven't heard from them. I am paying mums contribution to the nursing home, still paying her rent and utility bills which is now becoming financially unsustainable. I have today e-mailed the social worker involved hoping she will give me some good news as it is leaving me on tenterhooks whether they are going to decide to send her home even though her memory is zero, she cannot remember where she lives, she is doubly incontinent and bed ridden. The NH is fantastic, and it is well within the financial constraints of the local authorities care contribution. Her mood is also much improved rather than the nasty, throwing things round the room Mum I had to put up with. I must be honest and say that I don't want her to come home because I had a nervous breakdown caring for her and she is now much, much worse and in my opinion requires 24 hour nursing care.

Any suggestions of what I can do to move things along as I really want to know one way or the other instead of being in limbo all the time? I was thinking of having a proper holiday this year for the first time in ages but can't until I know what SS decide.

Thank you, Sue
 

RedLou

Registered User
Jul 30, 2014
1,162
Sue - this may be a silly question but why don't you stop paying her rent?
 

Patricia Alice

Registered User
Mar 2, 2015
179
I am still waiting for SS to contact me with regard to Mum's permanent placement in the NH. She was transferred from hospital and has now been there 4 months. The social worker told me they were reviewing mums case at committee three Thursdays ago and i still haven't heard from them. I am paying mums contribution to the nursing home, still paying her rent and utility bills which is now becoming financially unsustainable. I have today e-mailed the social worker involved hoping she will give me some good news as it is leaving me on tenterhooks whether they are going to decide to send her home even though her memory is zero, she cannot remember where she lives, she is doubly incontinent and bed ridden. The NH is fantastic, and it is well within the financial constraints of the local authorities care contribution. Her mood is also much improved rather than the nasty, throwing things round the room Mum I had to put up with. I must be honest and say that I don't want her to come home because I had a nervous breakdown caring for her and she is now much, much worse and in my opinion requires 24 hour nursing care.

Any suggestions of what I can do to move things along as I really want to know one way or the other instead of being in limbo all the time? I was thinking of having a proper holiday this year for the first time in ages but can't until I know what SS decide.

Thank you, Sue
Have you tried going higher up the Social Services Management chain. Tell them you cannot cope anymore and you would have no choice in not being able to provide the 24hr care she needs. We had this and my brother in law asked to speak to the social worker's manager. Mom is now in 24hr care.

I hope you get the answers you need. Good luck.
 

angelface

Registered User
Oct 8, 2011
1,085
london
I would try telling SS quite firmly that you are not liable for your mums bills, and stop paying them. After all , in law you should not be, or do you have POA? Even is you have POA, probabley paying the rent is a waste of money?

Also get on to the rent office, and tell them what is going on?

SS can be so slow, you need to keep on at them I think.
 
Last edited:

Lindy50

Registered User
Dec 11, 2013
5,239
Cotswolds
Hi SueShell

If your mum's rent is for a housing association or council funded place, I shouldn't think they'd be too happy either.

I would email the team leader and the social worker to say that you cannot keep paying the rent as well as the care home contribution, and that someone else may (no, will) need her flat or house. If you do not hear back within a week, email again!

It surely cannot be in your mum's best interests, or yours to move her home now. But I agree, you need it in writing.

I think some SW's simply don't realise the extent to which your life is on hold until you get this information :rolleyes:

All the best :)

Lindy xx
 

SueShell

Registered User
Sep 13, 2012
395
Orpington
Sue - this may be a silly question but why don't you stop paying her rent?
Redlou: because believe it or not you cannot make someone intentionally homeless (in this case my Mum) by deliberately not paying the rent. SS could take me to court. I have to wait for their OK in order to give up her tenancy - hence the reason I need to know from SS that Mum is staying in the NH for good.
 

SueShell

Registered User
Sep 13, 2012
395
Orpington
Thank you for responses. I have already emailed social services and if i don't hear anything by next week i will badger them again because its getting silly now. Mum has been staying at the home for 4 months now and can't even remember where she lives.
 

Dazmum

Registered User
Jul 10, 2011
10,314
Horsham, West Sussex
I would phone them Sue, that's what I did, left messages saying I would phone at a specific time when I was told they would be there, and kept doing it. I was lucky as I had a very good social worker for dad who was on our side. I was in such a state when dealing with them for mum that I cried every time I was on the phone to them, I seemed to be telling our story over and over and first of all was passed from office to office as they couldn't work out which one covered us. I hated keep phoning but making a nuisance of myself seemed to work. I wish that this was sorted for you and agree you shouldn't be paying. How are you in yourself? Xx
 

Pickles53

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
2,474
Radcliffe on Trent
Redlou: because believe it or not you cannot make someone intentionally homeless (in this case my Mum) by deliberately not paying the rent. SS could take me to court. I have to wait for their OK in order to give up her tenancy - hence the reason I need to know from SS that Mum is staying in the NH for good.
But what would happen if you didn't have the money to pay her rent? Or do you pay it from her own funds?