I have been here and its awful
Thanks so much everyone...it is really appreciated.
He calmed down enough to stop fighting sleep, but I could tell it was the kind of sleep that wasn't really deep. Not up yet, but we'll see what the day brings. I have made an appointment with the GP for Tuesday.
There are those times of agitation where I am not bothered at all and try to calm, but this wasn't one of those, probably because it was directed t me. I was and am so upset and worried, I did not sleep at all. When he gets obsessed like that it is surprising how much he remembers, though it was blown out of all rational sense. Oddly, his speech which usually deteriorates by evening into gibberish was absolutely normal last night.
Problem is, it was my fault. Had I not said we live here and just gone along with it being a holiday place it wouldn't have blown up. For some reason I thought I was being reassuring telling him this was his home and once said I couldn't change the story, as he remembered. Someday I might just get this right.
By the way, hijacking my own thread, husband often talks of "the others" asking where they are. When I said they're not here right now, he then wants to wait for them. Any suggestions.
I would suggest you demand a CPN through your GP and get into the system. Request a social worker also, only then can you start to get some help. Sorry to say this, but these episodes will keep happening and get worse eventually. Until you ask for help, and it is not giving up, it is doing the best for your husband who needs more help than you can give him now, they will let you struggle on. I came to a crisis point, had CPN, had social worker, was in the system and I was struggling badly (only child). I had a melt down myself, could not stop crying, had spent 37 hours straight dealing with another episode and I rang the duty officer at Town Hall, a blubbering wreck and said I could not cope any more. I was covered in psoriasis, losing wages for time off work and had no life to call my own as summoned at all hours to try to sort out another situation. They sent out an emergency duty social worker and CPN nurse that day (a weekend) and whilst assessing dad he fell again. They organised emergency respite to assess him further that day. From then on dad was assessed to be much further on in his dementia than they realised (seems me keep telling them was not enough!). Dad was offered a place then in an EMI unit, where he lives to this day, with dementia getting worse.
You have to get some help, if you collapse where will your husband be then? At least with some support you can get out a bit, have some respite, make yourself stronger to deal with the situations which will keep arising. It is not giving up, it is doing what is best for everyone. My psoriasis cleared up within weeks, I felt stronger and able to cope thus support my dad better. You need to be strong and make some demands, do not let them fob you off.
Dementia is horrible, it destroys the lives of everybody involved, but you can cope with help. Good luck.
x
