Hi again
I am so sorry to hear that you've had such a bad day, which is not really surprising.
I have found this article, written by a solicitors, about reporting abuse on a POA. I thought some of the information might prove useful.
http://www.thrings.com/site/news_events/thrings_news/abuse_of_poas.html
I think the only way out of this dreadful situation is to take some action. The solicitor doesn't seem to be making a difference for you, which I find even more worrying. She should be jumping up and down by now, and certainly not being as accepting of the situation as she seems to be.
You and your husband have needs. It is not up to his daughter to tell you how much you and he can spend of his money nor is it her right to know how you both spent money before her involvement.
Please Angie, don't allow this to drag on. The OPG will listen to you and act on your behalf - so far they have one side of the story, the daughter's, and goodness knows what she has said. The OPG is the Office of the Public Guardian, a guardian to protect the public, especially those that are vulnerable like your husband.
Also, as the article says, all local authorities have safeguarding in place for vulnerable adults,
I'll stop rambling! I do know how hard it is to stand up and be counted when you feel so trampled on, and lacking sleep, stressed etc. But this is not going to go away on its own. One phone call is all it will take, and have your notes ready.
Good luck. Hugs x