I'm not sure what to do anymore.

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Mother goose, Jan 30, 2015.

  1. Mother goose

    Mother goose Registered User

    Jul 5, 2012
    247
    Co.Sligo, Ireland
    #1 Mother goose, Jan 30, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2015
    I'm still worried about my mum, she's been in NH 6 wks & was settling ok, although thinks its only for a short time. The last wk she's been drowsy & not eating properly or drinking. I thought she had a uti as I found soaking wet PJ bottoms in her drawer. She was tested for uti & it's normal & is still drowsy. I have been visiting her every day since last fri & she still isnt back to normal. I asked if she should be seen by a DR last sun & was told all her observations are ok. I rang mon & the nurse said, she'd asked the GP to check my mum out, which she did. She took several blood tests & I was told the results would be back today.

    I went into see her this aftn & she was in bed again, drowsy. I stayed an hour & a half & got 2 words out of her. The staff told me she was up earlier & had dinner & was tired after so went back to bed. While I was there the nurse checked her blood pressure & other observations & said all were ok, that it must be something & nothing. I asked if it could be anaemia, she said maybe, but we'll have to wait for the results. I know the GP is busy & has a surgery from morn until 5 in the afternoon. She visits the NH at lunchtime & sometimes in the eve. I just don't know what to do, as she isn't improving & I took the blood samples to the hospital on mon & handed them into a member of staff there. Do they really take this long to get results?

    My other worry is my daughter has been getting headaches every day for the last 12 months. She has a baby boy who is 1 & a little girl of 5 yrs old. She has seen a Dr a few mths ago & he arranged an MRI scan & she is waiting for the results. He did give her medication to take only when headaches are very bad. When she checked they were anti depressants & was obviously worried about taking them.

    Her mother-in-law has been taking anti-depressants for many years for depression & my daughter told me this aftn that she suggested she take them. MY daughter is only 29 & I'm really worried about her taking them. She has had a lot of health problems from when she was a baby & had a tumour removed from her parathyroid when she was 14 years old. She has lost 3 babies in between her 2 children, which I know devastated her & she hasn't got over losing them, even though she has her 2 children who she adores. I really don't want her to take anti-depressants at her age, but she is such an independant person, she always wants to make her own mind up. I'm beginning to feel I'm the one who needs help, as I don't seem to be able to help them.
     
  2. Katrine

    Katrine Registered User

    Jan 20, 2011
    2,850
    England
    #2 Katrine, Jan 30, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2015
    Forgive me, but I don't see what your daughter's age has to do with whether antidepressants could help her? Modern antidepressants are not pep pills, they aren't addictive and they don't cause mentally altered states. They are designed to prevent the body from flushing out serotonin which is a hormone that promotes feelings of well-being and also helps with regulating sleep. Serotonin is produced naturally in the body but levels can get depleted by stress and illness. SSRI antidepressants help build up serotonin to a healthy level.

    Some people benefit from taking a low dose permanently, other people take them for a short time until they feel better. I have taken them when needed, so have two of my children. My son (same age as your daughter) got to quite a bad state last year with depression. We and his siblings encouraged him to go to the GP but he felt embarrassed not to be able to lift himself up by his bootstraps, count his blessings, etc. as if depression is caused by not trying hard enough to be cheerful. :rolleyes:

    By the time he decided that he needed help he felt at crisis point. There was a 10-day wait for a GP appointment, unless it was an emergency. We could not persuade him to see that it was an emergency. Then he broke down in tears in front of his boss. She sent him home saying he had to take a week off sick and get an emergency appointment. After taking antidepressants for a week he began to feel that life was worth living again.

    Depression is really dangerous. It is not just feeling sad. You get to the point where you feel utterly worthless. Each day you wake up wondering how you are going to keep going. It starts to seem easier to not wake up again. I can't explain how wonderful it is to then wake up one morning and be glad to greet the day and to start to look forward to doing new things.

    Depression is like a grey fog that sucks all the colour out of life. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It can be treated, and should be treated. SSRIs are tolerated well by most people and can have noticeable effects within as little as 3 days. I kept saying to my son "Imagine yourself in a week's time still feeling as bad as you do now. Then imagine yourself feeling human again in only 7 days. Don't let this misery drag on one day more than you have to."

    Apologies if I have misunderstood your concern. Do you feel the doctor was fobbing her off and not taking the headaches seriously? Provided she is still going to get further tests then the antidepressants won't do any harm in the meantime. If her body doesn't need them she will decide that they aren't helping and can review this with her GP. If they do help then she will be better able to cope emotionally while the headaches are investigated.
     
  3. Mother goose

    Mother goose Registered User

    Jul 5, 2012
    247
    Co.Sligo, Ireland
    Thank you for your reply, Katrine.
    I'm glad your son is doing well & he's lucky to have you his family there for him.

    My daughter has an appointment in March for the results of her MRI. She had an appointment 2 weeks ago to get the results & her husband was going to take her. He wasn't able to change his day off & my husband was taking her. That morn we had snow & ice & her husband had an accident on his way to work, his car skidded, spun around & turned over & landed in a 6 foot ditch on its roof. Thankfully, he got out of the car & wasn't injured.

    He rang my daughter to tell her, when she was on her way to the hospital. My husband took her to where here the accident happened & brought her husband back to our house. They decided it was too risky to drive to the hospital after what had happened.

    I wasn't aware that there are different types of anti-depressants & that they aren't addictive. All I want for my daughter, is to feel well & not drained every day.
     
  4. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    9,322
    Female
    East Kent
    Hi.
    I am wondering as your daughter was told only to take the Anti D when the pain was bad, was because it was one that is known to help with pain or perhaps relax her during the attack.
    As you know Anti D.s taken for depression are taken regularly rather than like your daughter was told to take them

    Quite a few years ago Mum was wrongly referred to a pain clinic, until we informed the consultant there that mums pain was caused by her cardiac problems , he was explaining that an old type of Anti D was often helpful with pain . I would have loved to have seen the letter he wrote to the Dr who referred mum to him.
     
  5. tarheel

    tarheel Registered User

    Jan 27, 2015
    1
    I feel your pain.



    My mom is 92 and still going. Stay strong and place your faith in the Lord. This is my 1rst time on this site. I'm sorry if I can't say much but, I just got mom to bed.
     
  6. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,531
    Female
    South coast
    I just thought Id like to add that if the MRI had found anything untoward then I very much doubt that her appointment would have been left till April.
     
  7. Mother goose

    Mother goose Registered User

    Jul 5, 2012
    247
    Co.Sligo, Ireland
    Thank you all for your replies.
    My daughter said to me, Mum, if there was something seriously wrong, the Consultant would have called me back much sooner. I know they would have, but it is so hard to see her suffer. She is so independant & just gets on with her every day life, at the same time trying to deal with her headaches & her 2 small children.

    I went into see my mum yest & she was back in bed again. She's been drowsy on & off last 8 days now. I asked her if she had any pain or aches & said no. Nurse said, her blood pressure & other observations are all normal. She did start coughing last weekend & when I saw the GP last mon, she said she does have a little bit on her chest, that eldery people do get that.

    Now its been 8 days, her cough has got worse. As weather bad here today & roads too dangerous to drive on, I couldn't go into visit her, so I rang NH & spoke the nurse on duty. She said my mum's the same as yest, sleepy & coughing & has taken to her bed. They tried to encourage her to get up for breakfast, but she said, think I'll stay on bed & had tea & toast there. The nurse said she's booked her in to see the GP tomorrow & if she got worse this aftn, she'd call out a Dr.

    The nurse kindly gave the phone to my mum & I spoke to her. I said, you need to tell me & the nurses if you have any pain anywhere, said she didn't have any pain. I asked, Do you have any aches, she said well not really. I said, does that mean you have. She said, my right side is aching, by my hip. I suggested when the nurse came back to see her, to tell her about the aching. The worry is, with her memory she probably forgot to tell her. I was asked to take her blood samples to the hospital last mon, which I did. They still haven't got the results back yet. I really hope they are back tomorrow & that we get some answers as to why she is so drowsy.
     
  8. sistermillicent

    sistermillicent Registered User

    Jan 30, 2009
    2,951
    There are several antidepressants which are used as pain relief, pain of a particular type, for instance my dad was on a low dose of, I think, amytriptilene (sorry can't spell it) for some months for his shingles pain and my daughter (by the way Mother goose, it looks certain that it's coeliac disease, if you remember previous post) took some other antidepressant in low dose to try to deal with pains she was having.

    I would encourage your daughter to take what is prescribed or to contact the doctor who prescribed it if she does not trust her/him and ask directly before deciding it is wrong for her.
     
  9. Mother goose

    Mother goose Registered User

    Jul 5, 2012
    247
    Co.Sligo, Ireland
    It must be a relief to you, Sistermillicent, to find out what is wrong with your daughter. I hope she feels much better very soon.
    I will pass on your advice to my daughter, about taking anti-depressants.
     
  10. Mother goose

    Mother goose Registered User

    Jul 5, 2012
    247
    Co.Sligo, Ireland
    HI Sistermillicent, How is your daughter getting on? I remember your post & you were concerned that your daughter may have coeliacs disease. I do hope she is doing ok & is able to deal with the condition.


    I mentioned my daughter getting headaches every day, the last 14 mths. She finally got her app today & thankfully the mri results were all normal. The consultant still doesn't know what's causing the headaches & has contacted a neurolologist in Galway & was advised to prescribe 2 different tablets for next 2 wks. He then wants my daughter to go back to him, to see how she got on. In the meantime she is being referred to a headache clinic in Galway, which is 3 hours drive. I really hope the tablets will help my daughter for next 2 weeks. I still worry about my mum & also my daughter too.
     
  11. sistermillicent

    sistermillicent Registered User

    Jan 30, 2009
    2,951
    That's great that the results are normal, what a long time it seems to have taken or is it just that January and Feb are the longest months to get through? But it's a shame that they don't know what is causing the headaches, I hope the tablets work. I haven't heard of a headache clinic before.

    My daughter has definitely got Coeliac disease, her tests were cancelled twice! but she eventually got the diagnosis. It is all a lot more difficult than I had thought for her, she has even had to throw out all her wooden spoons and chopping boards and get a new toaster just for gluten free bread. She also has to have a bone density scan as she risks getting osteoporosis. However she is feeling a lot better and for the first time in years has energy to do things. I am re-learning to cook gluten free cakes and pies and biscuits.

    I am sure you are still worried about your daughter, I know I would rather have coeliac disease than see my daughter have it. Are you happy with the nursing home your mum is in? It is much easier to cope if you know she is being treated kindly - my mum has a good place to go for respite, knowing we can trust them is wonderful.
    x
     

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