• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can now be found in our new area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

I'm not sure that my dad has dementia or not

Korn

New member
Mar 22, 2019
3
Hi I'm thai and English isn't my first language so there might be some mistakes. If you don't understand what I'm saying please feel free to ask me. I will try to explain it again.
My dad is 65 years, he had been suffer with swollen feet since 2 years ago so he mostly stay at home, spends his day on sofa and playing his computer.
He's always smoking a cigarattes but the problem is I think it has an effect to his brain.

First, he eat less than usual (normally he hardly eat food but now it's worse)
I bought him a lot things he said he want to eat but he doesn't even touch it.

Second, he smoke a lot. I noticed that he put cigarettes on his bed. When he woke up at night he will smoke and then return to sleep but the problem is, it becomes his habit.
He keep doing this frequently while he's trying to sleep like "smoke>>sleep>>smoke>>sleep"
Most importantly, my dad starts to say something nonsense like he's a boss in some village in another country and we are hunted by mafia. Someone he trust is going to come and take him back to his country or someone is going to transfer a lot of money to our account. Last Wednesday he called on phone when I'm at dorm and ask me about two housemaids in shanghai (he thought that now I'm living in shanghai but it's not)which we didn't have.
It's like he can't tell what's dream or real. He strongly belive it .When the day come at night. He started to realise that it's not true. He said "Sorry son, I was a little bit confused" in a sad tone and I saw the sadness in his eyes. After that he always go to sleep then in the next day, he become like this again, repeatly.
It broke my heart when I see him like this.

I don't know why he starts acting like this. Is it because he's having dementia which cause him a Paramnesia or the way he smoke?
What made me unsure is except these weird behaviour. He can do everything as usual like pick things or go to the bathroom also his memory is normal.

[About what he said, I think it seem like he feels that he's a burden because he's incapable to make a money anymore. I think that's why his imagination is about money or power. Should I comfort him by saying that he's not a burden for our family? Would it help? ]


I want to take him to a doctor but his visa is expired for a long time (it's illegal to stay here) so there's a chance that hospital might reject to give him a treatment and call a police (maybe, I'm not sure about this one, too high to risk)
if I send him back to his country to get a treatment he would be jailed before he could leave due to the law.

I don't know what to do now, my heart hurts and my head is going to explode.
Thank you for reading this.
 
Last edited:

Patrioted

Registered User
Jul 4, 2017
23
I recommend that your father get a proper medical evaluation for Alzheimer’s. Insist on his receiving a Pet scan which is still the only definitive diagnosis test because it can show if any amloyd plauques are president.I underwent considerable testing to include two MRI’s that showed no evidence of dementia. It wasn’t until I had a PET scan which showed amloyd plaque that definitively resulted in my Alzheimer’s diagnosis. I caught it early enough to get on doneprizil Alzheimer’s medication when it could still benefit me and provide planning time to get my affairs in order.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,679
South coast
Hello @Korn and welcome to Talking Point.

May I first say that your English is fine and I understood what you are saying.

These delusions (hes a boss in another country, he is haunted by the Mafia and that someone is going to give him a lot of money) certainly sounds like dementia. Dementia can sometimes cause symptoms of compulsive smoking or drinking alcohol too. Not all dementia gives memory problems.

The trouble is that there are other things that can cause dementia , like vitamins deficiency and thyroid problems (not smoking though), but without seeing a doctor you cannot be sure. I dont know how you can resolve this.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
8,810
Yorkshire
hello @Korn
a warm welcome to TP
swollen feet can be a symptom of problems with the heart, and so, with all your other concerns, it really would be helpful for your dad to be checked over by a GP, but I appreciate why you are reluctant to arrange this
I think you probably need some specific legal advice, maybe your local Citzens Advice Bureau (CAB) could give you some help
and it may be worth chatting with one of the advisors on the AS Helpline who have a lot of knowledge of dementia and may be able to direct you to useful contacts
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/national-dementia-helpline
 

Korn

New member
Mar 22, 2019
3
Thank you everyone. It's really feels relieved to find someone to talk about this.
I feels like I'm a failure, seeing someone who always love and take care of me getting worse and I can't do anything about it.
So after I read all of you guys advice. I decided to tell him that he's sick and need to go to see a doctor. He refused and said that he know what he's doing and it's "normal" for him that get a little confused sometimes because he's getting old.
Today he command me to get out this house for a while (like "go to shopping or do whatever you want") until he call me again because some of his worker gonna come and they might not come if I stay in this house because his worker will afraid of me

(what? I came here to take care of you! also why would your worker be scared of me?:()
He also told me that his worker leave this room yesterday because I came back and tried to look after him in a bedroom.

(he said something like "Didn't you see my worker?, he afraid of you so I can't do any business" but all I see is him lying alone in bed and keep smoking, sometimes he put his hand up and holding a pose like he's going to sign some contract)

The most saddest part is he said that he will soon get a money for me, so please believe in him and please don't say something like "dad you're getting confused", you know when I heard this, I can't stop my tears from falling he still care of me and my bro even though his mind is getting lost.
I'm still studying in college which is so far from home so my brother take care of him and I usually come to visit him at some weekend but my bro is also study in a college so he normally come at night.I guess this's a reason why he become dementia.We left him alone, no one to talk with :(.

Sadly that there's no local Citzens Advice Bureau in Bangkok but I will find some way to get my dad treatment. Thank you for everyone advice's, it's means a lot to me
 
Last edited:

Moog

Registered User
Jan 8, 2017
73
Kent. UK
Hi Korn,

The appearance of dementia could be physical ailments, and it's best to see if you can get those checked first - often they can be easy to treat and give you a quick fix.

Plus, it's worth knowing that some cognitive decline (getting a forgetful, getting a little confused) is normal in all humans as we get older. I once heard a psychologist describing it as 'bad filing in a cluttered room', e..g over the years we store so much information in our brains but don't really file it away neatly, so later in life we have so much stuff that we find it hard to retrieive things later when we need to.

Swollen feet - could be a heart/circulation/kidney problem, however, my father has "gravitational edema"- this is simply just swelling in the lower legs and feet caused by him moving less and keeping his feet on the floor while he's sitting. Basically, he's not moving around as much as he should. When humans walk, the muscles act like a pump moving blood and lymph back up the legs, but we get older, we move less and the veins don't pump as well so the fluids stay in the feet and ankles. We cured this in Dad with ensuring he lies on his bed each affernoon for two hours with his feet slightly raised (higher than his chest). Within a day or two his feet are back to normal.

Dehydration - lack of drinks during the day causes what I call 'instant dementia'. The brain needs fluids to work properly and to help flush out toxins. If we don't drink enough the toxins build up in the blood and cause the confusion, and hallucinations. This happens in animals too - we had a cat with failing kidneys and the build up of toxins made her very confused and clearly distressed at things that clearly weren't there. When my Dad hasn't drunk enough during the day he's very muddled and talks nonsense - but withing 30 minutes of drinking a few glasses of juice he's less anxious and less confused.

These are all simple things to try and it helps give you a sense of positive action.

Diet - is your Dad getting a good diet with plenty of fibre? When my Dad's bowels are working normally his whole health improves. Good bowels mean the minerals/nutrients from the food are likely to be absorbed better. If his diet is poor, is there anyway to at least a multivitamin each day to see if that helps alleviate anything. Our doctors recommneded that we give my Dad a daily multivitamin spray in his mouth (it goes straight in the bloodstream) and this has kept him well.

Best of luck.

Moog x
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,679
South coast
It is often difficult to get people with dementia symptoms to go to the doctor, even here in UK, because people with dementia often have no idea that they have something wrong with them even if you try and tell them. They think that everything they do and say is perfectly normal, although others around them are aware that it is not.

You could certainly try things like making sure that he drinks enough and is not lacking vitamins. You might like to try a vitamin supplement (especially vitamin B12) to see if this helps. If it is dementia, though, it will unfortunately get worse.

I wouldnt try and correct him when he gets confused as this can often cause anger and aggression.
 

Korn

New member
Mar 22, 2019
3
Wow,I haven't thought about it before.
I bought a calcium capsule that contained with vitamin d3. Is it ok for my dad to get vitamin d3 while having vitamin b12?
I will make sure that he drink enough water and eat good diet then If he don't get better I might buy a vitamin supplyment or bring him to the hospital (an easy choice for normal people but hard for me)

Can I ask a little bit more? I know that I typed too much, sorry about that.
My dad has no tooth so he can't eat much meat, his basic food always a porridge with some boiled chicken feets but now it seem like he lack of appetite(He said that his snese of taste is changed), he only eat 1 meal perday and 1 or half bottle of free-lactose milk (maybe whey protien sometimes if he want to) which is really inappropriate meal for older people.
Do you have any reccommend food that can eat without teeth? Something like Ensure also fine

Thank you for every kindness
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,679
South coast
Gosh, the more you write the more it sounds like dementia.
Changes in taste is common in dementia as they start to lose the ability to taste things. Usually they prefer sweet or spicy things. I dont know what food is common in Bankok, to be able to suggest things.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
8,810
Yorkshire
hi @Korn
I misunderstood and thought you were all in the UK
might you add Bangkok or Thailand to your profile as your location - we do have members from many parts of the world and someone may have some specific suggestions for you if they can see immediately where you are

these may be helpful
Alzheimer's and Related Disorders Association of Thailand
114 Pinakorn 4
Boramratchachunee Road
Talingchan
Bangkok 10170
Thailand
Tel: +66 2 880 8542/7539
Fax: +66 2 880 7244
Email: chansirikarn.s@gmail.com
Web: www.azthai.org
 
Last edited: