We had a special occasion today and had a very low key tea party. It went okay, could have been worse, but could have been better. I didn't enjoy it. Mam's behaviour upset me, embarrassed me, and made me ashamed that I still can't handle it very well. I start thinking I can, then realise that I can't. I honestly don't know how dad stands it. Please don't tell me it's the illness because I know that, but it's still my mam's mouth that these horrible things come out of, my mam's hands that slap, my mam's face that scowls and grimaces at us.
I came home thankful that it was over, then started worrying about Christmas Day. Is this what life is going to be like from now on and forever more until the end?
I feel very unhappy tonight.
I came home thankful that it was over, then started worrying about Christmas Day. Is this what life is going to be like from now on and forever more until the end?
I feel very unhappy tonight.