1. panda

    panda Registered User

    Apr 16, 2006
    88
    Surrey
    Please help !! I went to see Mum last wednesday and thought she had suffered a stroke she could hardly speak and was just staring out of the window. I rushed her to the Doctor who said it did appear to be a mini stroke and she would recover so to take her home. When I got her home I checked her shed and found ten empty brandy bottles , It was ten days since I had cleared the shed before so this amounts to a bottle a day!!! She promised me she would stop but I have heard it all before..Today I could not contact her as I thought her phone was off the hook, Then the care agency rang to say her carer was not able to get in as Mum was not answering the door. I rang her neighbor who popped in for me as I was at work and she rang me back to say mum was OK but no longer had a telephone or a telephone socket. As soon as i finished work I went there with my children only to find mum very very drunk.With a new big red lump on her head. I went to try and find the phone as I have to ring her every morning to tell her what she is doing that day. I heard a crash and my kids screaming, Mum had crashed into her sideboard then smashed her head on another one on her way down. it took me ages to get her up off the floor put a cold cloth on her head and sober her up with coffee. She was still insisting I was a liar and she is not drinking. I then found another nine empty bottles in her shed and put them on the table in front of her... I cant cope any more I am doing every thing I can to keep her in her own home but she is going to kill herself like this.....:(
     
  2. cris

    cris Registered User

    Aug 23, 2006
    326
    Chelmsford
    Oh dear that is terrible for you. I dont have an answer, but where does the drink come from ? Is your mum going out to buy for herself or is some-else getting it ?
    Who controls her money ? Have you tried AA ? they maybe able to suggest something. I wish you the best
    cris
     
  3. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Dear Panda

    What a terrible situation for you to have to deal with. I do think you need to arrange some sort of help for your mum, she is a danger to herself. What about her social worker? Or her GP? It could be that she needs emergency admission to hospital to get her out of this cycle.

    If your mum is on medication, the brandy could be having a serious effect on her. Do you know how she is getting hold of it? Could you restrict the money she has available?

    I do think you need to get some help, Panda. It's too much for you to deal with on your own.

    Love and hugs,
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,885
    Kent
    Dear Panda

    Al Anon have a helpline 10 a.m.-10p.m. Tel. 020 7403 0888

    Perhaps they can point you in the right direstion

    Al Anon is for families of Alcoholics
     
  5. panda

    panda Registered User

    Apr 16, 2006
    88
    Surrey
    She is still able to go to the shops and lives alone with a carer going in twice a day,plus me four times a week. I am going to ring the social worker in the morning . I dont know what AA can do for someone that can not remember she has had a drink. She is convinced I am the baddy. I think the idea of putting her somewhere to dry out sounds good. will let you know thankyou x
     
  6. sophie123

    sophie123 Registered User

    Feb 14, 2007
    19
    Berkshire
    Hi all,

    From my own experiences, I would highly recommend that you do your very best, by whatever means, to stop your mother from drinking heavily. My mother was an alcoholic for 25+ years, throughout mine and my sister's childhood (I am 21) and was diagnosed with Korsakoff Syndrome, an alcohol-related form of dementia, in 2006. She now lives in nursing home, having lost most of her communication skills. Your talk of finding ten empty bottles rings true with me, except my mum hid them in drawers and wardrobes. I hope you can help her with her problem, but only once she admits she has a problem.

    Sophie
     
  7. kazlou

    kazlou Registered User

    Feb 3, 2006
    75
    Surrey
    Hi Panda

    I too have had a problem with my Mum and drink her tipple is wine, she downs a bottle within an hour or two then collapses usually on the bed or in the chair, we also have had a couple of knocks where she has stumbled into things, when the drink starts to wear off she is very very confused and it takes a few days to get it out of her system.
    What we have had to do is restrict her money so she only has a couple of pound in her purse so she hasn't enough to buy any wine, we do all her shopping for her, I know this has taken away her little bit of independance and we hate doing it.
    She had been well for a number of weeks and as she had kept asking for money as she had none we gave her £5.00 but sad to say she trotted down to the local supermarket and bought a bottle of wine so it was back to square one again.
    So sadly we have had to go back only giving her a couple of pound.

    Kazlou
     
  8. panda

    panda Registered User

    Apr 16, 2006
    88
    Surrey
    I spoke to the SW and she said it is now time for me to register the power of attorney and that I must now control Mums money. This will be very difficult as she thinks there is nothing wrong with her. She was also very angry with the attitude of Mums doctor but so am I....I could not get in touch with her CPN who I was told should of been monotring Mum but he was on leave. I did manage to contact the doctor she saw last year when she was admitted to hospital and he said if I can get Mum to the hospital on Thursday he will admit her and try to stop the drink habit.He also said it would be dangerous to just stop her alcohol as she could have fits. I went up tonight she has a very brused face and no recolection of last night. An almost empty bottle of wine in her fridge she told me had been there for a month as she did not drink now days.....Thursday is not going to be easy but I know it has to be done. Thanks for your support.
     
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,885
    Kent
    Hi Panda, Good news that you are getting some support. I hope you get your mum to the hospital on Thursday, at least she will be looked after and the medics will get a chance to see how she really is.
    I`m afraid the fact your mother is still in denial is going to make it really difficult for you, but it sounds a case of `needs must`.
    Good luck for Thursday. Please let us know how you get on.
    With love
     
  10. loobylouuk

    loobylouuk Registered User

    Mar 10, 2009
    2
    hants
    #10 loobylouuk, Mar 10, 2009
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2009


    Ok where to start!
    My mum has been an alcoholic for 38yrs drinking mainly superbrew.
    i found her back in October almost comatoes,hallucinating,starving,dehydrated,incontinent and unable to even stand.
    I called the Doc out who immediatly called an ambulance.She was rushed to hospital and VERY,VERY luckily was seen by a DR that knew of Korsakoffs, his knowledge which believe you me is Very few and far between even at the highest level saved her life.
    This is because he gave her massive amounts of B vitamins intraveinously.
    Alcoholics tend to replace eating with drinking resulting in a diet with few vitamins and minerals.Alcohol some how stops the absorbtion of Thiamine (vit B1) and it is this deficiency that causes brain damage(korsakoffs) much damage can be halted with thiamine supplements and a good diet.
    Do not assume that your doctor knows best,with a history like you have said the doc should atleast have done some blood tests.
    She could have Wernickes.this is very hard to decifer as it often presents as drunkardness/dementia but tell,tell signs are normally wide legged gait,profound short term memory loss,jerky eye movements,confusion, loss of mobility etc.do some research a really good resource with loads of info is from the late lynda Boughey, she was a real pioneer in korsacoffs and her daughter Laura has now taken up the reins carenzacare.co.uk
    i sadly had never heard of wernickes/korsakoff syndrome before my mum was diagnosed but now when i look back i know that she has had Wernickes for a number of years. Nothing was done about it and she now has KWS her memory loss is profound,she is repetitive and cannot walk properly but since diagnosis in October and a dementia test score of 3 she has made rapid improvements and up to a score of 23!! kws can be reversed if caught in time or can be halted if there is abstinance of alcohol.good luck it is not an easy battle to get any kind of help for alcoholics as bugets are so low but defo get back to her gp for as much support as poss.
    hope this helps,any other questions please feel free to ask.I am not a medical person but am very well read up on korsakoffs!
    Lou
     
  11. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,438
    Hi Lou and welcome to Talking Point.

    To be honest I don't know much about alcohol induced dementia, although alcohol can become somewhat problematic for many varieties of dementia - if you can't remember you've had a drink there's a good chance you'll have another one.

    Just for your information this is quite an old thread - originally started a year ago.
     
  12. loobylouuk

    loobylouuk Registered User

    Mar 10, 2009
    2
    hants

    Hi Jennifer.
    Yes i had got so carried away that i hadn't noticed the date!!
    I'm positive that memory loss is catching!!
    Lou
     
  13. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,438
    It's not a problem; I've done it myself- searched for a relevant thread and been so pleased to find one that I've failed to notice it is several years out of date.
     

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