I'm New to Talking Point

Kath TN

Registered User
May 5, 2006
32
Hi everybody - just wanted to say I'm new to this website and have found it so reassuring that I'm not alone! Regularly being accused by my dad of stealing his money, forging his signature at the bank, etc, etc.

Dad's dementia has worsened during what has been an horrendous year - my brother and mum both died and dad had a nervous breakdown. Wish I had visited this site while mum was still alive and then I might have been able to reassure her that others were also being accused of having affairs - although I do think that mum kept a lot of how bad dad had become to herself.

I don't really feel comfortable talking about dad's condition - feels a like I'm being disloyal to him and mum - but I'll continue to visit this website for the reassurance it provides me with.

Kath;)
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
Hello Kath, and a big welcome from TP.

I'm so sorry to hear about the awful times you have been going through. I hope that TP can help you.

Kath TN said:
feels a like I'm being disloyal to him and mum
I think we all feel this at one time or another, but would it really help to pretend there is no difference now? I'd call it a brave sense of reality rather than any form of disloyalty.

Bravery is not about big guys fighting other big guys, and the best one wins.

Bravery is a small guy taking a slug at a very big one when any sense of reality would tell them to cut and run for their own well-being. Bravery is doing what you know is the right thing, when you know it is horribly difficult to do it.

To fight dementia, doing the 'right thing' can be even more difficult because none of us truly knows what the absolutely right thing is.

We can only
do our best.
 

Áine

Registered User
Feb 22, 2006
994
sort of north east ish
hi Kath

Welcome to the group. I can understand what you mean about disloyalty in talking about your dad here. The way I look at it, it's not so much what you say as the motivation behind it that has the potential to be disloyal. If you're talking about him (grumbling about him, cursing him even at times) here I think it's with the motivation to understand, let of steam and the better care for him. You most probably wouldn't even be bothering to post here if you didn't love him and weren't loyal to him and have his best interests at heart. Being honest and letting off steam isn't the same as being disloyal ........ I see it as a means to being able to continue being loyal and loving under difficult circumstances.

Áine
 

mel

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
1,656
63
Sheffield
Wish I had visited this site while mum was still alive and then I might have been able to reassure her that others were also being accused of having affairs - think thaalthough I do t mum kept a lot of how bad dad had become to herself.



Hi Kath
That's exactly how I feel and I know dad kept a lot mum's illness to himself before he died...I just wish I'd seen more signs myself.I totally agre with what Aine has said and you're not being disloyal....you just really care....and you have been through so much yourself this last year ....I think you'll find it a great help by airing your views and seeking advice on this forum
Take care
Wendy
x