I'm new, just saying hello

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by steph2007, Mar 30, 2008.

  1. steph2007

    steph2007 Registered User

    Oct 17, 2007
    I thought that I would just say hello to everyone. My father in law has been diagnosed with Alzheimers and I found this site in the hope of helping him in some way. I really am at at loss as to where I go from here, I am desperate to help him and to find someway of triggering memories for him.
    He has always been an active, clever man and to see the look of confusion on his face is killing me. My mother in law is struggling to come to terms with him and to cope with the fact that the man she relied on so much through the years is becoming a stranger. We are trying to keep a sense of humour but it's becoming harder and harder.
    I really do not know where to go from here. I am sorry if I sound so gloomy but at the moment everything is just so strange and frightening.
  2. Melissa1976

    Melissa1976 Registered User

    Mar 30, 2008


    I just wanted to say hello!, it sounds like we are in a very similar situation. My dad has just been diagnosed and me and my mum haven't got a clue where to start either. Having looked at TP and reads lots of threads it seems that this is a great place for us to start. I'm sure you are like me and would appreciate any help that anyone who's been in our position can give us.

    Or aim at the moment is just to get through one day at a time and see how it goes. Everyday that dad is on a 'good day' is a bonus at the moment.

    Hope to been in touch with you again and I wish you all the love in the world to get things in place to make all of your lives easier.

  3. steph2007

    steph2007 Registered User

    Oct 17, 2007
    Melissa, you have just made my day, after I posted I was sitting here having a little cry, I feel terribly alone at the moment, give me a bit more time and I will shrug my shoulders and get on with it!
    We too have no idea of where to start, this site seemed so welcoming and reading some of the posts made me realise just how many people are going through this too.

    Bless you and thank you xxx:)
  4. Melissa1976

    Melissa1976 Registered User

    Mar 30, 2008
    Lets worry about things together !!!


    I'm glad that my reply did a bit of good. I don't know about you but I feel pretty useless at the moment. Dad is still in hospital and can't come out yet until some kind of care plan is in place. My mum is all alone as I don't have any brothers or sisters. My 2 young sons are both poorley at home and I work for the police on shifts. I can't really do much at the moment and feel that I should be being more productive to help mum but as everyone keeps telling me we can't do everything.

    My nannan had alzheimers (but that was 15 years ago)so to a certain extent we know what to expect but dealing with it and knowing what to do and who to speak to and how to get the help is another thing. I am trying to be strong for mum and not let my boys see me upset but I know I'm going to break soon.

    Keep in touch and we'll try to help eachother as much as possible.

  5. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    Wigan, Lancs
    Hi Steph and Melissa,

    My Dad was diagosed about 16 months ago and I found this site 12 months ago.

    It is hard to ask for specific help as you don't know yet what help you need.

    Have you looked at the fact sheets on the main AS site? This is usually a good place to start, and of course everyone here on TP is here to help and support you.
  6. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Hi Steph and Melissa, welcome to TP both of you )hope you don't mind we welcoming you both together):)

    You're right, this is a friendly forum, all you have to do is join in, and everyone will wecome you.

    Please don't fel alone, TP is a life saver for lots of us, always someone to talk to, who understands.

    If you're totally at a loss, why not start with the factsheets, they're an endless source of information.


    And if you've any specific queries, just post. Someone will have been there!

    All the best,
  7. Melissa1976

    Melissa1976 Registered User

    Mar 30, 2008


    Thnks for replying so soon, I feel welcome already. I am at work now and on my lunch break so will log on when I get home.

    Thanks for your kind words so far, I look foward to speaking with you all again soon.

    Kindest regards

  8. barraf

    barraf Registered User

    Mar 27, 2004

    Hello Steph and Melissa

    Have you been in touch with your local branch of the Alzheimer's Society? They will point you in the right direction to get help and advice, and will help you with any form filling or advocacy. I found the support groups they run for carers extremely good, they are like TP only face to face.

    There are also a lot of fact sheets on here you can download which may be of help.

    Mostly though it is the help and support from people here who are all speaking from experience when the offer advice, they all know from personal experience what you are dealing with, so keep posting.

    Cheers Barraf
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Hello Melissa nad Steph.

    I hope you`ll both be really pleased you`ve found this site.

    It isn`t for advice as such, as everyone with Alzheimers is so different, but it is to enable us to compare, share and prop each other up throughout the trauma.

    As Sue has already said, the factsheets will give you a lot of information, and so will the members.

    And you hit the nail on the head immediately Melissa by inviting Steph to join you in worrying about things together.

    That`s what Talking Point [TP] is for. Welcome.
  10. steph2007

    steph2007 Registered User

    Oct 17, 2007
    Wow, I feel totally overwhelmed, thank you to everyone for caring enough to answer my post.
    This is all very new to me as dad has only just been diagnosed and even then is still having so many tests done. He was ok until he had cancer of the tonsils, when they first started him on chemo, the dose that they gave him was too strong and they nearly killed him, it has been all downhill since then.
    His memory has gone from bad to worse and now I am lucky if he remembers my name.
    I haven't really had the chance to browse the site properly but I have been busily checking out all the ideas and information that I have found.

    My poor mum is swinging between accepting his illness and pretending that nothing is wrong, my husband and I are doing everything that we can to help her, they have been married for more than 50 years and until I showed her how, she had never even written a cheque out.
    Luckily my husband and I are taking as much weight of her shoulders that we can.
    I find that most of the time I cope and deal with all of the everyday things fine, it is when I have the time to sit back and relax that it hits me that the man I once knew is only there for short periods and I feel so sad. As I have already stated, he is my father in law, I lost my dad many years ago and he stepped in and cushioned my loss, he was there for me and the least I can do is be there for him.

    Once again thank you all so much and I hope that I can repay you all by being here for all of you.
    Love Steph xxxx:D
  11. steph2007

    steph2007 Registered User

    Oct 17, 2007
    Thanks Melissa, it nice to know that I can count on you, and as you say...lets worry about this together..
  12. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    North Derbyshire
    Dear Steph and Melissa

    Count on us all on here. We are all loving and caring, and will do our best to help in your specific problems.

    Neither of you must feel alone, there is always someone on here who can advise.

    Keep us posted, and remember we are a community.

    Love to you both


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