Im new here.Advice needed please


Registered User
Aug 18, 2007
Hi all, Im new here.My step mum is in her 70s and my Dad is caring for her and finding it increasingly difficult.She has a habit of constantly rubbing her eyes and making them sore until they hurt. This may sound a silly question but does anyone know what we could try giving her just to keep her hands occupied so she doesnt rub her eyes?. I think if her hands were occupied she may not do it .I might be wrong but we have to try something. Also is there any help from professsional organisations who could maybe come into the home on a daily basis to assist my Father and give him a break for a couple of hours a day. Would an Occupational Therapist or Social Services be able to assist? Any advice would be appreciated.Thanks in advance.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Welcome to TP Charles.

You don`t say how long your step mother has had these symptoms or whether she has had medical attention.

My first port of call would be to her GP to ask for an Assessment from Social Services. They will then offer some day care, either in the home, or at a Day Centre, if she is willing to go.

It might help to write down her symptoms for the GP, so s/he gets the full picture.

Let us know how you get on.


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
Social Services can do a referral to the Occupational Therapist so they come around to see if they can be of any help with any adaption that can asset with your mother mobility , that she may be find difficulty with .

also referral to day- center , to give step dad a rest or someone to take your mother out on trip , if she does not like day centers .

don't know your mother age , but am wonder does she like knitting , so could occupy her hand to stop rubbing her eyes , also could something be irritating her eyes , visit to optician may be of help or doctor for eye drop . unless you have already been down that road .

welcome to TP Charles


Registered User
Jul 31, 2007
[QUOTEThis may sound a silly question but does anyone know what we could try giving her just to keep her hands occupied so she doesnt rub her eyes?. QUOTE]

Hi Charles,

Mum rubs her eyes too (cataract problems) but I have found a nail file to be of use, we also have a box of sewing things that we look through and sort into sections, and she often shows me her rings, wedding, eternity, dress ring taking them off and letting me try them on, but this only lasts a short while.

Sorry to not be of any more use.



Registered User
Jul 31, 2007

Hello Charles, My husband Peter was always rubbing his eye until they were very red. I took him to the Doctors and Opticians but the out come was there was no infection. I watched Peter closely and thought perhaps as he is in his own world, he might be trying to wipe away what ever he was "seeing". I put cold compresses on them which soothed his eyes and it seem to do the trick.
Wish you well, Christine


Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
Hiya Peter,
Welcome to TP. I dont know how advanced the dementia is with your mum so if these sggestions are irrelevant ignore them.
For a while my mum used to like opening and closing a musical birthday card - so we had a couple lying around the house. She also had a bear that a friend bought her that had a jumper on - she used to try and take the jumper off - or just pull on its nose!!
Love Helen


Registered User
Jul 11, 2007
west midlands
Hi Charles
Would your mum be able to do childrens jigsaw puzzles. my dad liked to do adult ones then when he couldn't do them we went on to childrens. he is now down to the 30 odd piece ones and the pieces have to be quite big but he will sit for ages engrossed in them. As well as social services the Alzheimers society have people who will sit. I have a lovely lady who comes for 3 hours on a friday night to let my husband and I have a night out on our own, she is brilliant with dad, plays dominoes and looks at books with him and takes him out in the car for an hour or so.They have a long waiting list but it is worth waiting for. hope that is of help.
Cheers Sandra


Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
I'm wondering if the people who are rubbing their eyes have "dry" eyes that feel itchy?? I realise it probably isn't anything as practical as that :rolleyes: but I think it might still be worth checking.

I suffer from dry eyes and use eye drops a lot. Not the ones for eye infections or for allergies, just "false tears" - made on the same formula as your own tears so no additives like antibiotics, etc.

The doctor told me years ago that it was related to hormones (common in post menopausal women like me apparently) and I've been using the drops with great success ever since.

You buy the drops from a chemist / pharmacy and they are not on prescription.
Perhaps it would be worth trying to see if they give your loved ones any relief and reduce the eye rubbing at all . . . .???