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I'm just desperate

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,905
South coast
Whoa! Thats a lot of things happening.
It sounds to me like a lot of people are discovering that your mum has a problem.
I think maybe the tide is turning.
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,685
Rang Aged Mother today while at work & sang( screamed / shouted & squawked also comes to mind!) happy birthday very loudly & repeatedly down the phone - much to the amusement of passers by.
The term short shrift comes to mind!
Can’t win them all!!
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,685
So it’s all quiet on the western front- as they say. My body has decided enough is enough & I am hobbling around as the leg has decided it’s not weight bearing & very achey! Why ?? I have no idea, but rest isn’t helping - so off to DRs tomorrow if no better!!!
I’m waiting to see what this week brings if lines of communication are better?
Sadly Mums oldest & longest friendship group have seen the reality of Mums situation & feel that more care is required, I totally agree.
Carers in 4 times a day plus community nurse. Mum hates the intrusion but it is that or a care home! Going to see on Friday if we can introduce visit to day centre during the week - ??
At least that would be a change of scene- actually think she’s beyond that now!!
I’m so tired that I’m off to bed - sleeping a lot! Not a good sign for me!
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,905
South coast
(((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))) @DesperateofDevon

I think that when you are in crisis mode your body just keeps going, its when things settle down that your body almost decides that its safe for problems to emerge. When OH went into respite, I went down with a filthy cold and I think that sort of thing is not unusual.
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,685
(((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))) @DesperateofDevon

I think that when you are in crisis mode your body just keeps going, its when things settle down that your body almost decides that its safe for problems to emerge. When OH went into respite, I went down with a filthy cold and I think that sort of thing is not unusual.
So went to DRs today & ended up a limping snivelling heap! But lovely GP assured me things reach a natural conclusion- me or aged parents or both??!
Leg still not weight bearing & blood tests sent off, but more than likely a muscle strain! Driving !!!!!! Really!!!!!!!!!!!
Am sleeping for England, & my get up & go has got up & fled!
Hubby on way home!!
Must hobble downstairs & hoover dust bunnies up!
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,685
I’m trying to get enthusiastic enough to photo work for possible sale - to be honest can’t muster enthusiasm at all!!
That’s bad!
Self employed & rely on repeat customers!
Oh ......
just want to pull covers over my head & sleep!!
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,685
So yesterday had phone call from my GP - I have suspected DVT & am now on clot busting drugs! Leg still painful, & raised up above my hip level!!
I haven’t been looking after myself... & now I pay the consequences!!!
Fed up ......
no one to blame but myself!!!
Tomorrow aged mother will be at DRs appointment with OH & Community matron!
Not sad I’m not doing the journey but feel very guilty that OH is. Offered to cancel & rearrange but OH says no!!
Am reading books & sleeping a lot! Making the most of not being able to do much!
Feeling very guilty
 

Delilah63

Registered User
Jan 4, 2018
49
Oh gosh, just reading your posts has given me the now familiar tight feeling in the back of my throat. Your mum sounds so like mine, the hostess thing, the redusal of care when we have been trying to make plans to avert the "one crisis after another" way of dealing with this thing. I have been called in to sort everything out so many times in the last 5 years, then told everything is fine and to just leave them alone. Its like riding some wierd out of control rollercoaster of nightmares. This is not helping you at all i know, but for a few moments there reading your posts i felt so relieved to know this happens and im not going mad, so thank you. I so hope you have some care in place now and can find your way through this with your sanity intact. Good luck and best wishes..carole
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,685
Oh gosh, just reading your posts has given me the now familiar tight feeling in the back of my throat. Your mum sounds so like mine, the hostess thing, the redusal of care when we have been trying to make plans to avert the "one crisis after another" way of dealing with this thing. I have been called in to sort everything out so many times in the last 5 years, then told everything is fine and to just leave them alone. Its like riding some wierd out of control rollercoaster of nightmares. This is not helping you at all i know, but for a few moments there reading your posts i felt so relieved to know this happens and im not going mad, so thank you. I so hope you have some care in place now and can find your way through this with your sanity intact. Good luck and best wishes..carole
Hi Carole,
So sorry you are in this situation - but glad that my inner monologue is helping someone somewhere!
Today OH & daughter are on the 5 hour travel time plus round trip to Aged Mother’s!
Me I’m off to have a scan - suspected DVT, knew aged mother would possibly outlive me!!!!
Aged mother doesn’t have a clue- why would she???
Aged mother also has an Dr appointment to try & get prophylactic antibiotics prescribed to stop these recurrent UTI’s , community nurse OH & daughter will be vocal I hope!
Brucie Bonus this week - got an appointment with original dementia team , they saw mum in 2014- in a the next couple of weeks!!!
Yay!!!!
Clot busting medicine needs to kick ass or clot! & I need to look after myself better!
Now determined that aged mother will not out live me!!!!
It’s the highlight of her week reading the obituaries in the local paper & crowing over who’s died!
No empathy at all!!
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,685
So I’m back from hospital CT scan done & yes lower leg DVT, blood pressure of 174 to boot!
So leg now elevated, & a good look at how not to do things.....
.................stressed out even about that!
Shall be wrapping self up in bubble wrap for a little stroll later !
Kill or cure!!
No butter on wholewheat sandwich & cheese will be a treat not staple diet with an apple!
How did I become this wreck of a human being.....???? I hope soon the system changes as it’s not a great place to be ..
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,835
So I’m back from hospital CT scan done & yes lower leg DVT, blood pressure of 174 to boot!
So leg now elevated, & a good look at how not to do things.....
.................stressed out even about that!
Shall be wrapping self up in bubble wrap for a little stroll later !
Kill or cure!!
No butter on wholewheat sandwich & cheese will be a treat not staple diet with an apple!
How did I become this wreck of a human being.....???? I hope soon the system changes as it’s not a great place to be ..
Just look after yourself, xxx
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,685
So Aged Mother repeatedly rang yesterday- no my number isn’t on speed dial! Hobbling to & from the phone to miss her call each time I retired upstairs & slept. Spoke to Mum when OH got back from yesterday’s visit.
Somehow me being unwell is giving mother fodder to try & make me feel guilty- 360 from the earlier conversation with OH daughter etc. But the flip flopping emotions just didn’t work this time
I’m actually so frightened by my own health issues that I’ve become detached from what would normally reduce me to tears!
How sad is it that you loose the ability to respond to a loved ones health & happiness- Dementia is a terrible disease.
Last night on the news the prime minister sat with Barbara Windsor & her husband, watching her confusion - her eyes didn’t echo the smiles she looked so worried; this interview made me realise along with this forum how easy it is to evaluate from a distance, but when you are in the situation yourself emotions etc make this so different & difficult.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,905
South coast
Im sorry you are having continued problems.
Perhaps switch the phone to silent and let it go to answerphone when you are trying to rest. You cant do anything for your mum at the moment anyway.
You have got to look after yourself and shouldnt be hobbling up and down stairs.
 

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