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I'm just desperate

Rosettastone57

Registered User
Oct 27, 2016
1,307
Hi.Down here in Cornwall they do as it the Council's policy.
My mother-in-law used a private care agency and at first they had this system of phoning in to say when they had arrived at my mother-in-law's home. Eventually they signed up to a smartphone app . The carers logged in on that and I could then see see on my smartphone as I had access what time they arrived and left. The app also gave me the facility to send the agency messages if I was unhappy about anything that I had seen on the carers entry
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,604
cornwall
My mother-in-law used a private care agency and at first they had this system of phoning in to say when they had arrived at my mother-in-law's home. Eventually they signed up to a smartphone app . The carers logged in on that and I could then see see on my smartphone as I had access what time they arrived and left. The app also gave me the facility to send the agency messages if I was unhappy about anything that I had seen on the carers entry
Yep it is the same one my dad has.As a carer in the community we had the same.
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,685
I wish I could post something to help @DesperateofDevon.

What you are experiencing is way out of my experience but it does sound as if you are verging on carer breakdown which is within my experience.

We know the services are suffering oversubscription and underfunding and banging on closed doors is unlikely to open them.

I can only hope someone will listen to you.
Thank you
Sadly it’s seems to be end of the road for Mum & me.
Social worker now wants to arrange a cleaner, but we can do this Mum just has to choose & agree!
Something not right here... social worker can get mum into a care home & has offered today but the social worker & GP have deemed Mum capable & said she doesn’t need help??
What is going on???
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,685
Yep it is the same one my dad has.As a carer in the community we had the same.
@Rosettastone57
What is happening with Mum?
Why can decisions be made but none in the best interests of PWD or family, don’t understand how SW has now offered care home option twice; when LPA states remain in her home.....
something not ringing true here..
How can the social worker be able to get mum into a care home against her wishes if Mum is deemed competent?
It was offered as an option yesterday?
Social worker visits mum without us knowing & sent a report of that to Mum stating capacity reduced - we didn’t get a copy of that report but Mum asks me & OH to file everything & sort it out for her.
Surely there must be a procedures in place that have to be adhered to.
I’m not putting Mum in a care home of the social workers choice.... what’s wrong with these people??
Also social worker wanted to appoint an advocate for Mum. I asked her wasn’t that what my OH & I were?
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,685
I think I’m going to let husbands inner rohtv
I wish I could post something to help @DesperateofDevon.

What you are experiencing is way out of my experience but it does sound as if you are verging on carer breakdown which is within my experience.

We know the services are suffering oversubscription and underfunding and banging on closed doors is unlikely to open them.

I can only hope someone will listen to you.
i am hoping by contacting yesterday the complex care mental health team, that some progress forward reference Mums care & welfare can be made .
As she’s on their books & ive given them enough evidence to get a referral that’s positive.
Positive to that I’m told with Mums diagnosis she shouldn’t be paying fo care!
Apparently it’s the mental health team who provide care visits as Mums symptoms were such in 2014 that Parkinson’s & Alzheimer’s were flagged.
paper trail is great but what happens ...
 

Rosettastone57

Registered User
Oct 27, 2016
1,307
@Rosettastone57
What is happening with Mum?
Why can decisions be made but none in the best interests of PWD or family, don’t understand how SW has now offered care home option twice; when LPA states remain in her home.....
something not ringing true here..
How can the social worker be able to get mum into a care home against her wishes if Mum is deemed competent?
It was offered as an option yesterday?
Social worker visits mum without us knowing & sent a report of that to Mum stating capacity reduced - we didn’t get a copy of that report but Mum asks me & OH to file everything & sort it out for her.
Surely there must be a procedures in place that have to be adhered to.
I’m not putting Mum in a care home of the social workers choice.... what’s wrong with these people??
Also social worker wanted to appoint an advocate for Mum. I asked her wasn’t that what my OH & I were?
@DesperateofDevon I'm afraid your situation is way out of my league. I wish I could give my experiences as a crumb of comfort for you . But as my mother-in-law was totally self-funding and never had any contact with social services, my husband and I made all the decisions for her without any other interference. We didn't even have any other family members who were remotely interested in her care and welfare . I had one phone call once from a social worker when my mother-in-law was hallucinating at night and used her carelink service who called the police to her property . Once I told the lady from social services that my mother-in-law was self-funding and what we already had in place for her care to be frank, she wasn't the slightly bit interested.

I'm not sure in your situation why social services wish to appoint an advocate as you are saying that you have power of attorney. With the care agency my mother-in-law used which she was totally funding as soon as I said I have power of attorney for finances and indeed for welfare , I'm afraid they stood up and took notice. I lodged the copy of the power of attorney for health and welfare at my mother-in-law's GP that didn't mean however that I was automatically notified of anything regarding her health or indeed medication. I suspect my mother-in-law still had some capacity as far as the GP was concerned. I'm sorry, perhaps others will be along soon with better advice
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,685
@DesperateofDevon I'm afraid your situation is way out of my league. I wish I could give my experiences as a crumb of comfort for you . But as my mother-in-law was totally self-funding and never had any contact with social services, my husband and I made all the decisions for her without any other interference. We didn't even have any other family members who were remotely interested in her care and welfare . I had one phone call once from a social worker when my mother-in-law was hallucinating at night and used her carelink service who called the police to her property . Once I told the lady from social services that my mother-in-law was self-funding and what we already had in place for her care to be frank, she wasn't the slightly bit interested.

I'm not sure in your situation why social services wish to appoint an advocate as you are saying that you have power of attorney. With the care agency my mother-in-law used which she was totally funding as soon as I said I have power of attorney for finances and indeed for welfare , I'm afraid they stood up and took notice. I lodged the copy of the power of attorney for health and welfare at my mother-in-law's GP that didn't mean however that I was automatically notified of anything regarding her health or indeed medication. I suspect my mother-in-law still had some capacity as far as the GP was concerned. I'm sorry, perhaps others will be along soon with better advice
Thank you I hope someone somewhere has an idea!
Thank you
Honestly if my family & friends hadn’t experienced it for themselves I don’t think anyone would believe me !
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,894
South coast
Some people on here have found an independent Social Worker who assessed their PWD and got a good result.
I have no experience of this, but I wondered whether you might consider it.
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,685
I would love to but as social worker & GP have deemed Mum competent I cannot do that legally. They have me in catch 22
Awful isn’t it
So reported all this to CQC if I want to take it farther I need to contact Parliamentary body!!!
I can’t keep doing this surely someone somewhere has to be responsible for their actions ?
After all the GP tells me your mums old & frail what do you expect?
The fact that they emailed this to me answers most of that question but the reply would be
For you to do your job & treat Mum with dignity.
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,685
Who says? If you havent contacted an independant SW already, it might be worth contacting one and asking them whether this is true.
Right I will look into this ..
& I will let you know what I find out.
Not finding out a lot so will stop now as OH home & it’s a “dementia free zone” for a little while !
Xxx
 
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DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,685
Hilariously today Mum said to community nurse infront of us “ no I don’t need incontinence pads, I’m not incontinent”
Ummm.... so asked Mum what happens when she stands up
“Oh it just pours out of me” says Mum
I reply “ that’s bladder incontinence, Mum “
Poor old Mum replies “ oh I didn’t realise that was incontinence!”

How fortunate the social worker & carer just happened to be present at the same time

Today we took 6 steps forward!
My Fairy Godmother has waved her wand & sprinkled a little fairy dust!
Thank you
-New TEP form filled in by community matron
-Request by community matron for dementia assessment sent today direct to CMHT
-Care package upped to 4 visits a day
-incontinence team chased up for review
-communication between multi disciplinary agencies
- community matron booked the elusive & much requested appointment with GP, Mum, OH & me!

Won’t do happy dance & tempt fate .....
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,604
cornwall
Hilariously today Mum said to community nurse infront of us “ no I don’t need incontinence pads, I’m not incontinent”
Ummm.... so asked Mum what happens when she stands up
“Oh it just pours out of me” says Mum
I reply “ that’s bladder incontinence, Mum “
Poor old Mum replies “ oh I didn’t realise that was incontinence!”

How fortunate the social worker & carer just happened to be present at the same time

Today we took 6 steps forward!
My Fairy Godmother has waved her wand & sprinkled a little fairy dust!
Thank you
-New TEP form filled in by community matron
-Request by community matron for dementia assessment sent today direct to CMHT
-Care package upped to 4 visits a day
-incontinence team chased up for review
-communication between multi disciplinary agencies
- community matron booked the elusive & much requested appointment with GP, Mum, OH & me!

Won’t do happy dance & tempt fate .....