Met some friends yesterday for a light meal and catch up. One friend has a Mother in a care home and complains about her and her ailments all the time. Her Mother wants to die and has suffered with mental illness over the years. She said that she hoped it would happen for her as her Mum is miserable. I said to be careful what you wish for as once they are gone they are gone. It got me thinking ..... I had a moment when I thought it would be better for my mum if she went to meet my Dad. I was being selfish as I was running around cleaning up after her accidents, doing everything from the shopping to houswork and personal care. I have sorted her bills, and checked up on care costs and the Carers (as mentioned in previous threads), been to the Hospital, held her down whilst they canulated and put up with the nasty comments. All the things we normally do without question.
Now just for once I would like to see Mum again, not in her coffin as the last time but just to see her and check she is ok. I want to listen to the conversation that didnt make sense, do the shopping for things she wouldnt eat and most of all just be there.
So now Im feeling sorry for myself, feeling sorry for my Mum, I missing her so much and Ive had a cry which I havent really done properly yet as Ive kept myself really busy. Really busy!
So I just want to say - be careful what you wish for - even in a passing moment.
Off for a shower now - clear up my run mascara and blotchiness and tell everyone Im fine !
Love to you all xx
Now just for once I would like to see Mum again, not in her coffin as the last time but just to see her and check she is ok. I want to listen to the conversation that didnt make sense, do the shopping for things she wouldnt eat and most of all just be there.
So now Im feeling sorry for myself, feeling sorry for my Mum, I missing her so much and Ive had a cry which I havent really done properly yet as Ive kept myself really busy. Really busy!
So I just want to say - be careful what you wish for - even in a passing moment.
Off for a shower now - clear up my run mascara and blotchiness and tell everyone Im fine !
Love to you all xx