I'm gutted

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,344
South coast
Mostly good news today :)

I have my car back Yay! The garage phoned lunch time and said it was ready to be picked so I phoned invisible brother. He answered the phone, only to tell me that he was at the opticians, had had drops in his eyes and therefore couldnt drive for two hours
. Eventually I got to the hospital. OH was sitting up in bed reading, so much improved
. He is no longer on IV antibiotics and seems to have turned a corner. Unfortunately, his mobility is no better. He still cannot even stand unaided, but needs a zimmer frame and can only take a few steps. Im actually quite concerned about how I will cope if his mobility doesnt improve, even with a care package.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,391
Kent
It was the loss of mobility which did it for me canary and made me decide on residential care.

Because your husband is so young it will be very difficult for you to find somewhere good enough for him. That`s the worry.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,290
North West
Mostly good news today :)

I have my car back Yay! The garage phoned lunch time and said it was ready to be picked so I phoned invisible brother. He answered the phone, only to tell me that he was at the opticians, had had drops in his eyes and therefore couldnt drive for two hours
. Eventually I got to the hospital. OH was sitting up in bed reading, so much improved
. He is no longer on IV antibiotics and seems to have turned a corner. Unfortunately, his mobility is no better. He still cannot even stand unaided, but needs a zimmer frame and can only take a few steps. Im actually quite concerned about how I will cope if his mobility doesnt improve, even with a care package.
Pleased for you @canary, you don't need me to tell you to ask for a home assessment and see if there are any modifications you can get done at home to help you. I think you have been quite remarkable through this episode and I am sorry I didn't pick up your thread earlier...that will teach me a lesson on looking out for others even if I am in my own stew of mess :rolleyes:
 
Last edited:

pevensey

Registered User
Feb 14, 2012
235
South East Coast.
It was the loss of mobility which did it for me canary and made me decide on residential care.

Because your husband is so young it will be very difficult for you to find somewhere good enough for him. That`s the worry.
Please think twice before you aggree to him coming home @canary. If they say his chest infection has cleared so he can come home. He needs to be seen by OT while hes there and then you can suggest he has rehab somewhere, as my hubby did and hes been there 2 weeks now having intensive physio everyday. I've got a review meeting next week to discuss what happens next. If hes ok to come home, but I dont want to go back to square one watching him whenever he is walking or getting out of a chair. I think we have to make these difficult decisions while this crisis like being in hospital is happening. But it sounds like your OH needs proper physio in a rehab for few weeks .It must be a relief for you though seeing him sitting up and off the IV's.
Look after yourself Canary.
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,519
Chester
I'm really pleased to hear you've got your car back and that OH is off IV antibiotics.

When mum had pneumonia she recovered significantly in the days after. She wasn't that bad when she was admitted, but completely out of it for the next couple of days, a few more days on oral IVs and she managed to walk to the toilet and back on a frame. They sent her to rehab, which wasn't the right place, and if they'd kept her one more day in hospital she'd have gone straight back to her flat. Over the next few months she slowly recovered and went from walking with a zimmer frame to walking with a stick to walking unaided in her flat. She still needed the stick when out of the flat but that was the baseline before.

They didn't seem to understand to allow for the effects of the infection to be recovered from.

I do agree with others, to only have him home if you think you have the level of care in place that you can cope with.

Whatever type of undiagnosed dementia he has, to me it is clearly dementia and has been for a long time, so it will take him a lot longer to recover than if he didn't have dementia, so don't be surprised if he has recovered a lot in say 2 months time.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
3,810
Nottinghamshire
I’m glad you’ve got your wheels back!

It was my dad’s loss of mobility that decided on his move to a carehome. I know it was different to your OH @canary as dad was 90 and had been having falls. The hospital had told the carehome manager dad was not mobile but, in spite of this, they got him walking again albeit with a zimmer.

As I say it was different for dad as he was very frail by then and having falls so there was no way he was coming home. But maybe a few weeks in a carehome will be enough for your hubby to recover his strength. It’s a shame you can’t get the one that’s just closed :(.

I agree with the others - don’t have him home until he’s independently mobile. Look after yourself canary.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,344
South coast
I havent been sleeping well for the last couple of nights with worrying about things, but last night I slept like a log.
At least today I can plan my day and choose the time to visit OH - Im planning for mid-morning.
Yes @pevensey I will indeed get everything in place before I agree to have him home. Ive already said that I will need a home assessment @Palerider . Thats what worries me @Grannie G . You give me hope @jugglingmum - maybe OH will get back to base-line eventually
But maybe a few weeks in a carehome will be enough for your hubby to recover his strength. It’s a shame you can’t get the one that’s just closed :(.
You know what? I had exactly the same thought.
 

pevensey

Registered User
Feb 14, 2012
235
South East Coast.
I havent been sleeping well for the last couple of nights with worrying about things, but last night I slept like a log.
At least today I can plan my day and choose the time to visit OH - Im planning for mid-morning.
Yes @pevensey I will indeed get everything in place before I agree to have him home. Ive already said that I will need a home assessment @Palerider . Thats what worries me @Grannie G . You give me hope @jugglingmum - maybe OH will get back to base-line eventually

You know what? I had exactly the same thought.
Goodluck with everything @canary, I hope you and your OH get the end result that's good for both of you. I know I keep saying it but the rehab/carehome my hubby is in is a lovely place, it's only a temporary carehome though max stay 6 weeks.I see your on south coast I am too but east sussex so it's probably not near you. Hope your day goes well.
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
248
Glad that you have your car sorted, Canary. It will make things easier. I hope things get sorted for your OH to enable the best outcome.
 

charlie10

Registered User
Dec 20, 2018
395
In the last year or so I have been amazed at how people can rally from apparently almost terminal conditions. When my FiL spent over 6 wks in hospital earlier this year, after breaking his hip, he went downhill so fast he couldn't sit in a chair without being wedged in with pillows, and it took two carers to turn him over in bed. He had very little flesh and even less muscle......everyone, including the medics, were convinced he would never walk again. But we nagged to have him sent for rehab (thank you TP, for educating us) and for the last 5 mths or so he lives on his own with one daily care visit and BiL pops in twice a week for shopping, chores etc......even now, I still can't quite believe the about turn he's done. He is only mobile with a zimmer in the house....outside he needs a wheelchair but he still has a small bit of mobility, and I'm glad to read that others have recovered at least some of their physical abilities when it's looked pretty dire....I do hope that in the next few weeks we will be reading of your husband's progress back to at least near where he left off.

In the meantime, I hope that the return of your car enables you to breathe a little more easily.....however annoying they are when they go wrong, they do give us independence and choices which you really don't have with public transport. Hopefully you have now outrun your spell of bad luck :)
 

Kay111

Registered User
Sep 19, 2019
147
Just wanted to check in and see how you were doing @canary - I'm glad everything seems a little less stressful at the moment!

The lack of mobility is exactly what my mum's been faced with recently. It sounds like your OH is younger from a few of the comments above? When dad had his mini strokes (and lost mobility) the physios were actually quite positive that if he had the temperament for physio, because dad was only 69, they could get him moving again. Obviously, it's all on a case by case basis, but I think what they were saying is if you're not in your 90s (for example) then mobility is something that can be surprisingly recoverable. (Unfortunately my dad is aggressive and temperamental and refuses to do any physio.)
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,063
I hope your visit goes well today Canary, it must be very worrying for you. It sounds as if your husband needs several weeks of rehab/respite. My mother's care home was brilliant at rehabbing her after she broke her hip and she responded well to physio, so I hope your husband gets an equally positive result.
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,519
Chester
You give me hope @jugglingmum - maybe OH will get back to base-line eventually
I hope it isn't false hope, my mum had some arthritis in her knees at the time, and also was diagnosed with AF (atrial fibrualtion) when in hospital with pneumonia - I think the tablets for her heart helped with her mobility ie I think she had had her mobility restricted by the heart issue.

As time has gone on she has become more unsteady on her feet, which I have put down to the dementia, mum is 89 now.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
857
Hope you had a good visit today and that your OH is making progress. Thinking of you.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,344
South coast
Hi everyone. Its crazy here, so forgive me that I wont answer you individually, but I am so grateful for your concern. Its like have a warm cosy blanket wrapped round me.
I had a panic on Wednesday because the doctors (elderly medical care, not neurologists) thought that his lack of mobility was due to side effect of one of his epilepsy meds and were talking about changing it :eek::eek::eek:. Hes been on this particular drug for well over ten years, so Im sure its not a side effect of this drug and his epilepsy drugs are finely balanced and fiddling with them when you dont know what you are doing could be catastrophic. I spent many hours trying to get through to someone at the London hospital for advice. Fortunately they decided to leave his drugs well alone.

His mobility is improving and he can now get around with a frame, so he is home with a care package. He hates using the frame and keeps on trying to walk without it - the physio gave him a sound telling off. He is not aloud to go outside yet and mustnt take a shower until extra grab rails have been installed.He is able to go up and down stairs quite well fortunately, although I go up behind him and come down in front of him to make sure. As well as the physio, there have been carers, SW and DN checking on him and our daughter and her husband have come to stay for the weekend. Its been bedlam. Had a phone call to say that extra aids will be delivered and the OT should be coming on Monday.

Phew
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,580
How lovely @canary that the care package you so badly needed is now in place
Woohoo!
I hope you have a little celebration tonight & get to relax a bit more.

sending hugs x
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,344
South coast
Thank you DoD
Daughter and SIL cooked dinner - steak salad and chips with wine. Absolutely delicious. Ive been surviving on takeaways and ready meals all week so this was an especial treat.
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,580
Thank you DoD
Daughter and SIL cooked dinner - steak salad and chips with wine. Absolutely delicious. Ive been surviving on takeaways and ready meals all week so this was an especial treat.
glad you are being spoilt, you need some TLC & fun
Xxx
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
1,787
I am so pleased that he is up and home, it's such a worry and you can do without that @canary. Dad has come on leaps and bound since he came home in March. He is never going to walk far but he can get about his bungalow okay although he is wobbly. Dad is nearly 90 so your husband is likely to do much better and recover faster than dad has. It sounds like you are getting the help you need so that is good. Try to take it a bit easy yourself because it's what's needed.