Im confused about the care homes


Registered User
Apr 21, 2005
My lovely mum has been in a care home since April,when my stepdad died,shes now 78.
Im confused as to the wording of homes,care,nursing etc.
Im not sure what these homes to different,Id like mums care home to be more active in feeding asnd getting her out to walk,but all I hear is,"we cant force her",which is not what I want to hear,she needs to be bathed daily,emcouraged to eat more,and walk more,Its not any good stating that they cant force anyone to do anything.? Im confused,can anyone help me please.


Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
near London
There are very clear guidelines as to what care home staff can and cannot do for the people in their care.

They have to be particularly watchful of anything that might be seen as 'abuse'.

So they can't 'force' residents to do things, except in extremis when their safety is an issue.

However, good care home staff are skilled in encouraging residents to do things, making something seem a good thing to do. It is all a bit like encouraging a child to do something... takes a bit of ingenuity sometimes.
Id like mums care home to be more active in feeding
My wife's care home tries not to be active in feeding residents. The attempt is to keep them feeding themselves for as long as possible. This helps staff to know what a person likes [or chooses] and what they don't like so much - something that may not be apparent if the feeding is done by a member of staff, or family member.

There comes a time when they cannot feed themselves, however, and recognising that someone has reached that point is important.

Another stage is reached when a 'soft food' diet becomes necessary because normal presentation of food is too difficult for the resident to manage. Food is liquidised. Generally they do this very last thing because it discourages the stomach from normal digestive patterns - i.e. the food is almost pre-digested when it is taken in.
getting her out to walk
Normally, if residents in my wife's home can walk, then they either do it automatically, or are encouraged by a member of staff, who holds their hand as they walk.

Often the stopping of walking is associated with a loss of spatial awareness and a consequent fear of falling.

Important point - have you discussed your feelings with the manager of her care home? Have you established any sort of relationship with the staff there? That really does help!