Hi All, im back after nearly 4 months away, having moved from Cumbria back to my native north-east. Ive been in my new social work job 4 3 months now dealing with elderly care. In that time away ive had time to time to think about how to use talking point differently. What ive come up with is that i will offer specific advice on social work matters relating to alzheimers disease by private message only. Having returned to talking point i will read your threads but my advice will be better used on a 1:1 basis as i said by private message. I intend to check in regularly as i am back on line from now. Best of luck folks. Shauny.
Im Back online.
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Hi Shauny
welcome back,
While your idea to help others is very worthy - and, goodness knows, people do need lots of help on everything to do with dementia - I would warn that nobody here on TP - including yourself - is an expert and all advice given should always be given "in my opinion".
We may some of us have had experience that leads us to be able to help others by pointing the way, but what we say is not necessarily either the end of the story, or absolutely correct in all circumstances.
We should always point people towards organisations that have a wide range of experience - such as Alzheimer's Society - to confirm anything we may say.
You say
Also, who is to know exactly what you can bring to the party? What experience, knowledge etc you have. To risk offending you... who are you to offer such a service? [speaking as a moderator, we have to protect all members of TP]
If we keep everything public then members receive a balanced choice of options, from which they can select the one that is most comfortable to them.
TP is a public forum, and I'd recommend to all members that we keep it that way.
Anyone who does enter into a PM dialogue with anyone else at all, where actions may be suggested, would be well advised to check them out elsewhere before doing anything at all.
welcome back,
While your idea to help others is very worthy - and, goodness knows, people do need lots of help on everything to do with dementia - I would warn that nobody here on TP - including yourself - is an expert and all advice given should always be given "in my opinion".
We may some of us have had experience that leads us to be able to help others by pointing the way, but what we say is not necessarily either the end of the story, or absolutely correct in all circumstances.
We should always point people towards organisations that have a wide range of experience - such as Alzheimer's Society - to confirm anything we may say.
You say
and I think this is a bad idea as it gives no-one else with [possibly greater or wider] experience the opportunity to chip in their knowledge, and even to say "that is not correct because...".
Also, who is to know exactly what you can bring to the party? What experience, knowledge etc you have. To risk offending you... who are you to offer such a service? [speaking as a moderator, we have to protect all members of TP]
If we keep everything public then members receive a balanced choice of options, from which they can select the one that is most comfortable to them.
TP is a public forum, and I'd recommend to all members that we keep it that way.
Anyone who does enter into a PM dialogue with anyone else at all, where actions may be suggested, would be well advised to check them out elsewhere before doing anything at all.
advice.
Hi Bruce, thank you for your considered reply and your honesty. I did not mean to cause offence. I can guarantee that i would only offer advice based on my experience of working daily with people who have alzheimers. I would say that you are more experienced at this than me a mere professional who can walk away at the end of the day. If talking point want me to drop my idea of private messages then i don't have a problem with that. If talking point members don't want me to contribute then maybe someone can organise a vote to decide either way. Take care Shauny.
Hi Bruce, thank you for your considered reply and your honesty. I did not mean to cause offence. I can guarantee that i would only offer advice based on my experience of working daily with people who have alzheimers. I would say that you are more experienced at this than me a mere professional who can walk away at the end of the day. If talking point want me to drop my idea of private messages then i don't have a problem with that. If talking point members don't want me to contribute then maybe someone can organise a vote to decide either way. Take care Shauny.
Hi Shauny, welcome back but I would echo Bruce's comments absolutely.
Having had many, many years experience in this field, I would never, ever, set myself up as a 1 : 1 counseller. Such a varied illness must have many, many aspects of caring. Every easpect needs a hearing. With respect,
Having had many, many years experience in this field, I would never, ever, set myself up as a 1 : 1 counseller. Such a varied illness must have many, many aspects of caring. Every easpect needs a hearing. With respect,
Hi Shauny
Please do not be offended. We do all want you to contribute, and I'm sure your experience will be invaluable.
But I do agree with Brucie and Connie. TP is an open forum, and if someone has a problem we often like to reply, sometimes giving the benefit of our own experience, sometimes only offering words of comfort.
The replies often help others, too. I've learned so much from just reading other people's posts. What you are suggesting would take that away.
I think TP should stay just as it is, it's so helpful to so many of us. But please keep posting, and give us the benefit of your experience.
Please do not be offended. We do all want you to contribute, and I'm sure your experience will be invaluable.
But I do agree with Brucie and Connie. TP is an open forum, and if someone has a problem we often like to reply, sometimes giving the benefit of our own experience, sometimes only offering words of comfort.
The replies often help others, too. I've learned so much from just reading other people's posts. What you are suggesting would take that away.
I think TP should stay just as it is, it's so helpful to so many of us. But please keep posting, and give us the benefit of your experience.
Hi Shauny
I have read your posts with interest and have to agree with Bruce.
I do have a great deal of contact with Social services these days,direct payments,palliative care and a PCT quadrant group,also an Older persons reference group.
best wishes
Norman
I have read your posts with interest and have to agree with Bruce.
I would be very interested to know what is your new job?Social services is so varied these days.
I do have a great deal of contact with Social services these days,direct payments,palliative care and a PCT quadrant group,also an Older persons reference group.
best wishes
Norman
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Hi Shauny
I would agree with whats already been said and i also mean no offence...........i believe that this kind of one to one service should be part of a registered professional association which is accredited, it should be closely monitored with code of ethics, complaints procedures etc in place, another important thing should be insurance.................just because your services are free of charge does not lessen your responsibility to the people to whom you give advice ........(if i walked into a charity shop and injured myself, i would be just as able to sue them as i would if it happened in marks & spencer............it makes no difference that its a charity.)
Shauny, I think that what has been said up to now is to protect you as much as anyone else, you could be setting yourself up for a lot of heartache, however as already said, i've no doubt that your experience would be invaluable on this forum, so why not just continue to post!
Love Alex x
I would agree with whats already been said and i also mean no offence...........i believe that this kind of one to one service should be part of a registered professional association which is accredited, it should be closely monitored with code of ethics, complaints procedures etc in place, another important thing should be insurance.................just because your services are free of charge does not lessen your responsibility to the people to whom you give advice ........(if i walked into a charity shop and injured myself, i would be just as able to sue them as i would if it happened in marks & spencer............it makes no difference that its a charity.)
Shauny, I think that what has been said up to now is to protect you as much as anyone else, you could be setting yourself up for a lot of heartache, however as already said, i've no doubt that your experience would be invaluable on this forum, so why not just continue to post!
Love Alex x
forum
Hi all, well thank you for your response. Having considered what you have said i will withdraw my idea and contribute as normal. In my niaveity i can only say sorry. Shauny.
Hi all, well thank you for your response. Having considered what you have said i will withdraw my idea and contribute as normal. In my niaveity i can only say sorry. Shauny.
Hi Shauny
as you will gather from my previous post, I think this is a wise decision, but please don't feel apologetic about it.
My standard way of working is to use the scattergun approach, where I fire out loads of ideas. I then wait to see those that are welcomed and those that are shot straight down and that i then abandon.
Never any harm in testing the water!... unless in the Amazon when the piranhas do more than shoot ideas down...
as you will gather from my previous post, I think this is a wise decision, but please don't feel apologetic about it.
My standard way of working is to use the scattergun approach, where I fire out loads of ideas. I then wait to see those that are welcomed and those that are shot straight down and that i then abandon.
Never any harm in testing the water!... unless in the Amazon when the piranhas do more than shoot ideas down...
Hi Shauny, I read your post with intrest and I'm sure you're trying to be of help. How I wished I had found TP years ago as it is, I only joined this year 3/8. Caring for my wife for over the past 11 years mostly learning about Alz as I went along, and poor support from SS and inexperienced care in a NH I chose to take total control for the care of my wife since removing her from the NH. It was a year before SS then got involved and by then I was coping OK.
After reading every thing available on AD five years ago I recall our daughter remark: "Mom reached the final stages a while ago". Where we are then and now only God knows.
The point I'm trying to make is, whenever I have contacted the AS, the Carers Support, SS and the medical profession I'm asked "How can I help You?" When I tell them I don't want help, their response is, well if you don't want help there's nothing we can do. If I were to say "For you to listen and maybe learn, as I have from unnecessary very bad experiences." I suspect they would have said sorry for what you have been put through, ( which is what they said at the time)
and just carry on as they were trained to do. That has been my experience, left with the remark "You keep pushing the boundries."
There has been only one Psychologist interested in our case. She asked to see my wife at home, aware that on a number occasions Doctors had given my wife a matter of days to live. Seeing my wife physicaly recovered I was requested to write up everything I had done since removing my bedridden wife from the NH. The results were published in Signpost :To Older People and Mental Health Matters. That was two and a half years ago, sadly shortly after she moved away from this area to work at a University up north.
The more I have learned about AD as it relates to my wife, the more I discover how little I know.
Learning from TP should be part of the training for all professions involved with both carers and their loved ones.
I have been trying to share my experiences for years, but to no avail, now I can with people at the sharp end on TP. But then, it's those who carry on regardless with accepted ways, who need to look afresh how they treat the carers and cared for.
Sorry to have rambled on but had to get it off my chest.
Best wishes in your endevours and God bless. Padraig
After reading every thing available on AD five years ago I recall our daughter remark: "Mom reached the final stages a while ago". Where we are then and now only God knows.
The point I'm trying to make is, whenever I have contacted the AS, the Carers Support, SS and the medical profession I'm asked "How can I help You?" When I tell them I don't want help, their response is, well if you don't want help there's nothing we can do. If I were to say "For you to listen and maybe learn, as I have from unnecessary very bad experiences." I suspect they would have said sorry for what you have been put through, ( which is what they said at the time)
and just carry on as they were trained to do. That has been my experience, left with the remark "You keep pushing the boundries."
There has been only one Psychologist interested in our case. She asked to see my wife at home, aware that on a number occasions Doctors had given my wife a matter of days to live. Seeing my wife physicaly recovered I was requested to write up everything I had done since removing my bedridden wife from the NH. The results were published in Signpost :To Older People and Mental Health Matters. That was two and a half years ago, sadly shortly after she moved away from this area to work at a University up north.
The more I have learned about AD as it relates to my wife, the more I discover how little I know.
Learning from TP should be part of the training for all professions involved with both carers and their loved ones.
I have been trying to share my experiences for years, but to no avail, now I can with people at the sharp end on TP. But then, it's those who carry on regardless with accepted ways, who need to look afresh how they treat the carers and cared for.
Sorry to have rambled on but had to get it off my chest.
Best wishes in your endevours and God bless. Padraig
