Mum 74 with moderate Alzheimers, and Dad 77 with cognitive impairment.
Dad has a hard time understanding Mums Alz, he has no coping skills or strategies to deal with Mum. You can talk to him till your blue in the face, but he really doesn't get it.
For a long time now its been a day to day thing, but Mum has declined since Christmas.
I am Mums main carer, and Dad supervises day to day.
My parents live in their own house behind mine.
The other day it was Mums birthday. I had work, but Dad said he would take Mum to his club for lunch. My husband dropped them off, and Mum & Dad walked home. A 10mn walk.
When I came home from work, Dad didn't look at all well.
Glazed eyes, hesitant speech, lightheadedness, he said he had a headache and I got him to take some water & paracetamol. He perked up for a wee while, but then looked just as terrible. Possibly a migraine? He said he just needed a good sleep, and the next morning he looked a lot better.
Dad is a man of few words and will tell everyone who asks including our doctor, things are great and he's feeling champion.
He finally told me that things are building up with Mum, and he found it very stressful taking Mum out for the day.
Dad already gets respite 3x a week for a couple of hours, he goes to his club once a week, and I take Mum out another 2 days.
Mum has refused day care, as she says the people there scared her and they had things wrong with them. My sister does not want Mum to go into Respite Care, but as she is doing home renovations can't have her to stay. None of Mums sisters can have her to stay as a strange house would be too disorientating. I have no room for Mum to stay.
Honestly what do you do, when your other parent is not coping, at the risk of their health, but your parent with AD is not high risk enough to qualify for care?!
On the other hand its only because Dad is there that Mum can still live at home, as she would be so unsafe to live on her own, that she would qualify for care.
I've taken a day off work today to see my own GP, as its causing me many sleepless nights. Least of all I can talk to him first, in the hopes of of getting Dad in for a check up and chat
Dad has a hard time understanding Mums Alz, he has no coping skills or strategies to deal with Mum. You can talk to him till your blue in the face, but he really doesn't get it.
For a long time now its been a day to day thing, but Mum has declined since Christmas.
I am Mums main carer, and Dad supervises day to day.
My parents live in their own house behind mine.
The other day it was Mums birthday. I had work, but Dad said he would take Mum to his club for lunch. My husband dropped them off, and Mum & Dad walked home. A 10mn walk.
When I came home from work, Dad didn't look at all well.
Glazed eyes, hesitant speech, lightheadedness, he said he had a headache and I got him to take some water & paracetamol. He perked up for a wee while, but then looked just as terrible. Possibly a migraine? He said he just needed a good sleep, and the next morning he looked a lot better.
Dad is a man of few words and will tell everyone who asks including our doctor, things are great and he's feeling champion.
He finally told me that things are building up with Mum, and he found it very stressful taking Mum out for the day.
Dad already gets respite 3x a week for a couple of hours, he goes to his club once a week, and I take Mum out another 2 days.
Mum has refused day care, as she says the people there scared her and they had things wrong with them. My sister does not want Mum to go into Respite Care, but as she is doing home renovations can't have her to stay. None of Mums sisters can have her to stay as a strange house would be too disorientating. I have no room for Mum to stay.
Honestly what do you do, when your other parent is not coping, at the risk of their health, but your parent with AD is not high risk enough to qualify for care?!
On the other hand its only because Dad is there that Mum can still live at home, as she would be so unsafe to live on her own, that she would qualify for care.
I've taken a day off work today to see my own GP, as its causing me many sleepless nights. Least of all I can talk to him first, in the hopes of of getting Dad in for a check up and chat