Hi. I'm very new to all this and brand new to the list.
My mum is 83 and been living independently successfully and fairly happily for over 30 years since my dad died. She had become a bit forgetful and repetitious having 'slowed down' a while ago, but things changed dramatically four weeks ago when she was found to have wandered down the road with a case full of her things in search of her home.
We (I have 4 sisters) went from regular family visiting to organising morning and evening carers, but she wandered again with a suitcase in the evening time after dark. This was completely out of character. This time she got across a main road and was fortunately picked up by a kind girl who was driving past and realised she needed help. My mum remembered her address, but she is really struggling with the concept of her own home, often asking 'where am I?'
The complicating factor is that her insight changes abruptly and she can get very resentful of being organised and her privacy invaded. So in one moment we agree an plan of action and then a short time later we get resentment and aggression for what has been agreed. Our aim is to help her stay in her own home, which is what she has always wanted.
We don't feel she is safe on her own for any length of time, but she is not keen to have anyone not family in the house. We have come to the end of a week with an experienced carer who has found my mum very hard to please, and resistant to doing any personal care. We have an agency booked for a month's trial, but are starting to wonder if this is the right road to go down now.
She has had a psychiatric assessment but all the rest of the wheels are grinding slowly and the consultant is not keen to start Arricept without a guarantee of compliance which is not realistically likely as she has always avoided doctors and medication. The consultant is willing to start Mirtazapine which may be quite calming if she will take it.
We are investigating door alarms that might enable her to be left for longer periods. Practically and physically we can't be in her house 24/7 even between 5 of us, and she doesn't seem to want that anyway.
I would just be grateful for any advice. What are the consequences of further wandering, with police, social services, etc.?
Thanks
My mum is 83 and been living independently successfully and fairly happily for over 30 years since my dad died. She had become a bit forgetful and repetitious having 'slowed down' a while ago, but things changed dramatically four weeks ago when she was found to have wandered down the road with a case full of her things in search of her home.
We (I have 4 sisters) went from regular family visiting to organising morning and evening carers, but she wandered again with a suitcase in the evening time after dark. This was completely out of character. This time she got across a main road and was fortunately picked up by a kind girl who was driving past and realised she needed help. My mum remembered her address, but she is really struggling with the concept of her own home, often asking 'where am I?'
The complicating factor is that her insight changes abruptly and she can get very resentful of being organised and her privacy invaded. So in one moment we agree an plan of action and then a short time later we get resentment and aggression for what has been agreed. Our aim is to help her stay in her own home, which is what she has always wanted.
We don't feel she is safe on her own for any length of time, but she is not keen to have anyone not family in the house. We have come to the end of a week with an experienced carer who has found my mum very hard to please, and resistant to doing any personal care. We have an agency booked for a month's trial, but are starting to wonder if this is the right road to go down now.
She has had a psychiatric assessment but all the rest of the wheels are grinding slowly and the consultant is not keen to start Arricept without a guarantee of compliance which is not realistically likely as she has always avoided doctors and medication. The consultant is willing to start Mirtazapine which may be quite calming if she will take it.
We are investigating door alarms that might enable her to be left for longer periods. Practically and physically we can't be in her house 24/7 even between 5 of us, and she doesn't seem to want that anyway.
I would just be grateful for any advice. What are the consequences of further wandering, with police, social services, etc.?
Thanks