1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

I'll see you when I get there.....

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by mrs pepperpot, Feb 7, 2015.

  1. mrs pepperpot

    mrs pepperpot Registered User

    Nov 12, 2010
    70
    south wales
    After 7 years Alzheimers has finaly taken my mother from me. I feel lost at the moment and empty, I'm so glad we kept her at home.I have so much to say I cant speak for fear of a torrent of grief pouring out and scaring everyone else.so I'll hold onto it and let it out slowly a little at a time. And if I'm honest, I feel sorry for myself, my heart hurts and I have to live the rest of my life without her. I know time will heal and I will be ok but just now, tonight, im not. Is it ok at 54 to feel like an orphan?
     
  2. Soobee

    Soobee Registered User

    Aug 22, 2009
    2,734
    South
    She did go peacefully at the nursing home but it was after a long time without water or food. Not what I wanted for her.
     
  3. Loganberry

    Loganberry Registered User

    Apr 23, 2011
    17
    Newcastle upon Tyne
    Mrs Pepper pot, I lost my Mam 3 weeks ago. I am 48 and I still need her, yes, it's perfectly normal to feel as you do. I'm so sorry to hear about your mother, sending you hugs xx
     
  4. Soobee

    Soobee Registered User

    Aug 22, 2009
    2,734
    South
    I feel for you Mrs Pepperpot (I loved those stories). The grief will feel less intense with time but it does feel so all-enveloping at first.

    It is ok to feel like an orphan at any age. I do when I see my friends talk about their parents. I'm 42 and most of them have not experienced that kind of loss yet.
     
  5. mrs pepperpot

    mrs pepperpot Registered User

    Nov 12, 2010
    70
    south wales
    Thanks for that. Im ok really . Im sorry about your mam. Xx
     
  6. mrs pepperpot

    mrs pepperpot Registered User

    Nov 12, 2010
    70
    south wales
    Thanks for the kind words

    This is the place where if someone says they know how you feel, they really do. I gave her a beautiful funeral, my final job for her, that's a comfort too. Im so grateful that we were able to go to the end with her at home, I have no
    regrets. She leaves behind 3 geese, 14 hens, 3 cockerals,1 duck and Tip, the
    collie dog. Oh and me, her only daughter and eldest brother and favourite
    brother (mums not mine) although he has rather grown on me the last 5 years,
    Grandchildren and a great grand daughter. The invisible brother who lived next door never did come in to see her, nor his wife or their kids, none of them came to her funeral either, it was a bit awkward at the funeral with people asking me "wheres Jeff then" I just said he couldn't help himself really as he was born without a heart ! Needless to say, As far as im concerned he no longer exists to me. Thanks to all here for the support over the last 5 years. Will it be ok to pop by now and then just to offer support ? X
     
  7. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,968
    Brixham Devon
    I'm so sorry for your loss Mrs Pepperpot. A very sad time for you-you have my condolences and sympathy.

    Of course you are welcome on this Forum at any time-compulsory actually:)

    Take care of yourself

    Lyn T XX
     
  8. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,598
    Female
    Dundee
    I'm sorry for your loss Mrs Pepperpot. Sending my condolences.
     
  9. angecmc

    angecmc Registered User

    Dec 25, 2012
    2,109
    hertfordshire
    I am sorry to hear of your loss Mrs Pepperpot xx

    Ange
     
  10. Gigglemore

    Gigglemore Registered User

    Oct 18, 2013
    526
    British Isles
    So sorry for your loss Mrs Pepperpot, but I am glad that arranging a beautiful funeral may have brought you some relief.

    Sounds like you will be kept busy caring for your Mum's feathered friends and the collie, but of course there will be a huge gap in your life now that your Mum is no longer with you.

    Wishing you strength to get through these first difficult weeks and months of grieving. Take care.
     
  11. sarafina

    sarafina Registered User

    Sep 28, 2009
    13
    Sweetheart, my Mum died 2 months ago and I know the raw grief you are feeling, the thought of never ever holding her warm hands and body is unbearable. You are not alone, I know exactly how you feel, hold onto the fact she's now with my Mum and others, we will be reunited eventually. Cry, let your grief out, I do every dayxxxxxxxx
     

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