ILF help needed what do i do now?

Discussion in 'Younger people with dementia and their carers' started by chip, Jan 5, 2007.

  1. chip

    chip Registered User

    Jul 19, 2005
    400
    Scotland
    I have been told today that a Independent Living Fund Social Worker and the Social Worker we have are coming to see my husband and me on the 16th. I have told the Social Worker that you can not talk about my husband in front of him as he will get very moody and aggitated and try and walk out the house or he will take it out on me and kick. My husband thinks there is nothing wrong with him. The answer i got was that the ILF social worker needs to interview you both. Do these Social Workers know about Alzheimers, as this is going to give me a bad time when they go. Why can they not contact the hospital day care for information about my husband or the GP to avoid this and see me when he is not here. Also my husband does not trust strangers. He has only met the Social Worker once as well and that didnt go well as she said all the wrong things to him. When they come do i warn them that if they upset him i will put in a complaint. What do i do now?
     
  2. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,438
    I assume you're talking about them talking about him as if he's not there? The "does he take sugar" phenomena? I think you have to acccept that they have to interview him, but do you actually have to be there? Perhaps if you're not physically in the same room, they'll have to deal with him directly. In raises another issue though Chip. Not all AD sufferers are violent - have you spoken to the social worker about this?

    I must say, try to make it work with the ILF - they can provided a tremendous amount of financial help (I know someone (under 60, post stroke) who gets care in his own home 24/7 from carers paid by the ILF)

    Jennifer
     
  3. chip

    chip Registered User

    Jul 19, 2005
    400
    Scotland
    Thanks, looks like i will have to put up with it. I have muscle wasteage with one of my legs and go to physio and have been told it is going to take 8 months so will tell them that. I only gey 10hrs a week direct payments and cant use it every week as i can go over it in one day. When different carers come from the agency he gets aggitated but i have noticed when the same one comes he is ok. The carers are also saying that it should be the same one as they get used to them and know them. Come April i am going to be out every weekend and away for a week and as there is nothing here for the younger people i am going to have to go with this.
     
  4. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,438
    I do hope it works out. I do have some issues with the ILF. The person in question does not, it is true, have much income. However, he is the owner/occupier of a farm, worth conservatively several million pounds! However, since he's always lived there, this is disregarded in the same way as a semi would be. At least you can say they are even-handed I suppose, although I do think there should be some upper limit on house value. To be fair, it's possible that they have some agreement to be repaid at some point in the future - well I hope they do (he has no family).
     
  5. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    what about ringing the social worker and asking these questions? probably makes more sense to discuss it in advance rather than have a difficult start to the interview on the doorstep?
     
  6. chip

    chip Registered User

    Jul 19, 2005
    400
    Scotland
    Have contacted the SW but only got told it has to happen. I hope my husbands advocacy can be here as i have contacted her. I think she should be here as they are going to interview him (well try)
     
  7. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    did the sw say why? just curious.
    good idea to have advocate there if you have one.
    hope the meeting goes as well as it can.
     
  8. chip

    chip Registered User

    Jul 19, 2005
    400
    Scotland
    No just that the ILF social Worker has to see us both. I will also tell him (even with the SW here as well) that there is no proper facilities here for younger people and that the council care homes turn you away due to age. They also do not provide day care for them. This puts extra cost onto carers and family therefore i have to work. I have also been wrongly charged for respite but have heard nothing from social services other than they admitting that they were wrong. I am due to get respite in 3 weeks they better get it sorted out before then as i am booked to go away.
    My friend who i am going to know's a Social Worker there and he hopes we meet up with her as she says she cant believe the charges here, she was shocked.
    OH well they want to come here so they will have to listen.
     
  9. Dar Griff

    Dar Griff Registered User

    Dec 5, 2006
    15
    Caerphilly
    Is a meeting over the phone an option?

    My dad is in a similar mindset to your husband. He dislikes strangers in HIS HOME. Sometimes he doesn't like anyone there. Including my mam.

    It's not ideal, but if it reduces the anxiety for you & any aggitation for your husband, then it's worth a try.
     
  10. chip

    chip Registered User

    Jul 19, 2005
    400
    Scotland
    Phone well no it's not an option. SW text me. Was told in the text they HAVE to see us both.
     
  11. Dar Griff

    Dar Griff Registered User

    Dec 5, 2006
    15
    Caerphilly
    Visiting my parents tomorrow (Tuesday) when their doctor type person is visiting. not looking forward to refereeing the occassion, but I'll let you know what worked & what didn't.

    Maybe something wil be of help to you.
     

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