• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can be found in our area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Ignoring me!

blueboy

Registered User
Feb 21, 2015
125
0
Mum went into care 3 months ago and has been very settled. She has advanced alzheimers and speaks very little now. I visit every couple of days as there is no other family near here but Mum always ignores me now. She is often asleep but even if she is awake when I go in she then puts her head down as if asleep. She interacts a bit more with the carers and I have watched her watching what is going on around her. She also interacts more with my brother when he visits - not that he can visit much as he lives 300 miles away.
I know it is impossible to know what a PWD is 'thinking' but I wonder if she in some way holds me responsible for her being in care as I was the one who took her to the care home. Or maybe I am being paranoid?
 

chris53

Registered User
Nov 9, 2009
2,928
0
London
Good evening blueboy, great news that your mum has settled in so well in her new home,so sorry you feel you are being ignored, I guess sadly that mum maybe not know who you are, it's weird but my mum in law does not know or even acknowledge my husband or myself BUT knows our dog and his name:rolleyes: the guilt monster is always sitting on our shoulder and we must try to push it off, just enjoy the time you have with her knowing you have done your very best.
Take care and a hug if needed:p
Chris
 

blueboy

Registered User
Feb 21, 2015
125
0
Good evening blueboy, great news that your mum has settled in so well in her new home,so sorry you feel you are being ignored, I guess sadly that mum maybe not know who you are, it's weird but my mum in law does not know or even acknowledge my husband or myself BUT knows our dog and his name:rolleyes: the guilt monster is always sitting on our shoulder and we must try to push it off, just enjoy the time you have with her knowing you have done your very best.
Take care and a hug if needed:p
Chris

Hi Chris - my name is Chris too, strangely enough! I think I know it is the guilt monster which is causing the problem really. Sad but true. Good to know that your Mum knows your dog - sometimes wonder if Mum would know my dogs too! Funny though that Mum doesn't know me (who has really looked after after her since dad died 13 years ago) but seems to know my brother - Mums and their sons!! Said by someone who has 2 sons...
 

chris53

Registered User
Nov 9, 2009
2,928
0
London
Chris,at least here....its a...........
 

Attachments

  • image.jpg
    image.jpg
    19.6 KB · Views: 306

BRIDGETJ

Registered User
Dec 2, 2015
6
0
Ignoring me

Today I visited my mum in her care home ( been there 4 months now). Mum has AD and VD . I sat with her for half an hour being totally ignored! I eventually gave her a kiss and told her I was leaving . I left sat in my car crying my eyes out. Shes never done this before.
Half an hour later I went back in and she welcomed me with open arms!!
What a roller coaster ride that was!
I never found out why....
 

Slugsta

Registered User
Aug 25, 2015
2,760
0
South coast of England
Yesterday was the first time that Mum had seemed to 'look through' me when we visited, rather than recognising me :( It hurts but I have to remind myself 'it's the disease, not her'. We say that a lot here on TP!
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,675
0
Ireland
When my daughter got married, having lived with us until her wedding day, by the time she got back from their two week honeymoon, my husband had "lost" her. After that, he just referred to her as "Your friend". Weirdly, he continued to recognise her new husband, whom he had only known about a year, and continued to recognise her car!