No... not judging care home... I'm sure there are people who enjoy living there... Look how many retirement villages and the like there are... most of them want to be I assume!? I am also sure that the majority of staff that work in care homes want to do that type of work and do their best!
However, while I have and still can make a choice, I do not want to go into a care home.
I'd feel sorry for the people who would have to put up with me!
I think I am probably hard to live with at anytime, so image what it would be likely if I was completely bonkers!?
You make a valid point. My mother moved to a 'park home' on an estate with an age restriction about 15 years ago. She didn't socialise because she never has, but definitely felt part of the community. She felt safe there and amongst like-minded people.
Maybe we should see care homes more as community living for older people. With any other illness, we wouldn't hesitate to get the professional help a person needs. But for some reason, with dementia, we always assume that we - family - are the best people to help. Yet we are not professionals or even trained in any way. We believe our 'love' is such a precious thing that it will be better for the PWD than professional care.
There are threads all over this board that tell of PWDs becoming agitated or upset by their own family members - is that good for them? On moving to a care home, the advice is often that family shouldn't visit for a little while so the PWD can settle in.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this! Perhaps we just need to get away from the image some of us have, of care homes being dreadful places and that going to one somehow means failure/punishment/banishment, etc. As others have said, it can be a very positive thing and more importantly, it is often the right thing.