If my mum can’t find things she says they are stolen?
- Thread starter Storm@42
- Start date
Hello @Storm@42. Welcome to the Forum.
I`m surprised. This is a very common symptom of dementia.
Many people with dementia put things in `safe ` places and if they have even the slightest form of paranoia or insecurity will think they have been stolen or hidden.
It is easier to accuse others of taking their possessions than remember their safe places.
I hope you will find Talking Point helpful and supportive.
I`ve half a mind to suggest you refer your Social Worker to Talking Point. Even though it`s for carers and people with dementia only, there would be nothing to stop them reading posts and educating themselves about symptoms of dementia.
I`m surprised. This is a very common symptom of dementia.
Many people with dementia put things in `safe ` places and if they have even the slightest form of paranoia or insecurity will think they have been stolen or hidden.
It is easier to accuse others of taking their possessions than remember their safe places.
I hope you will find Talking Point helpful and supportive.
I`ve half a mind to suggest you refer your Social Worker to Talking Point. Even though it`s for carers and people with dementia only, there would be nothing to stop them reading posts and educating themselves about symptoms of dementia.
This is incredibly common. Some people with dementia either want to keep things safe so they hide them or genuinely don't remember that's where they put something so someone else must have moved it. They often accuse whoever a nearest of doing this so regular visitors such as carers and relations often get accused.
In my mums case it was her neighbour's. According to mum not only did they steal things, and then bring them back, they controlled her bathroom heating and changed her dishwasher to another one. One of the reasons mum is now in care was that she would knock on their door demanding things were returned and shouting abuse.
Of course you do need to check in case someone really is taking advantage of your loved one. That can be tricky when you are not sure if what they are telling you is the truth or something they think is true. Mums purse went missing at the time she told me she'd been drinking with random men down the pub. Did she hide her purse(haven't found it yet), drop it somewhere, did the men take it, did she go to the pub st all? All you can do is try to make sure they are safe.
In my mums case it was her neighbour's. According to mum not only did they steal things, and then bring them back, they controlled her bathroom heating and changed her dishwasher to another one. One of the reasons mum is now in care was that she would knock on their door demanding things were returned and shouting abuse.
Of course you do need to check in case someone really is taking advantage of your loved one. That can be tricky when you are not sure if what they are telling you is the truth or something they think is true. Mums purse went missing at the time she told me she'd been drinking with random men down the pub. Did she hide her purse(haven't found it yet), drop it somewhere, did the men take it, did she go to the pub st all? All you can do is try to make sure they are safe.
I first suddenly realised that mum had dementia when she, out of the blue, phoned up and told me that an old and very dear friend of hers was stealing from her. Of course this friend was not stealing anything - mum was moving things around and forgetting where she had put them, so thought someone was stealing things, so she would "put things away safely" (aka - hiding them) so that no-one would find them and steal them - except, of course, she couldnt remember doing it, so it became a vicious circle.
This accusation is so common it is almost diagnostic, so Im very surprised that SS say its not dementia - it most certainly is!
This accusation is so common it is almost diagnostic, so Im very surprised that SS say its not dementia - it most certainly is!
This is such a common issue that it is almost diagnostic of dementia in itself. My mother-in-law was always protecting things from her carers to make sure they didn't go as she put it "sniffing around". Every week we were met with various accusations against the carers ,the gardener, us as a family. Not easy to deal with though
Of course it is dementia related - SS don't know what they are talking about! (But I've read a few horror stories on here where the person with dementia was believed by the authorities which has led to incredibly difficult situations.)
Mum (in care home) usually moans about her underwear being stolen and the nasty thief always takes the blue patterned ones - her favourites...
Mum (in care home) usually moans about her underwear being stolen and the nasty thief always takes the blue patterned ones - her favourites...
Sorry I laughed at your comment about the blue patterned underwear
Sometimes it is good to see the funny side I suppose instead of stressing and worrying. xx
This is very symptomatic of dementia. My wife was always saying that things had 'walked' or been stolen. 'Are you accusing me?' I sometimes said, as being the only other person with access to the house. It was always some other unspecified person, never me or her. Some things took months to find - long after I had forgotten that they were missing - and others I have never found. I would say that a social services department that doesn't recognise one of the most common traits of dementia must either be not very clued up or deliberately avoiding the truth.