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'If I get like that, put me in a home'

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,912
0
Well the 'surprise' arrived today. It's a very large Christmas card with a picture of mum on the front. It's a 'nice' picture, but you can see the decline, not having teeth doesn't help. I wasn't really thinking when I photographed it and sent it to my brother. It's upset him, as I think in his mind he thinks of mum as she was before she went into care. OK at the time he last saw her in March 2019 she thought he was my dad, but she could still hold a discussion of sorts. I guess it's proof that he is really on the mend, as he has been so concerned with his own extremely poor health to worry about anyone else. Let hope a vaccine comes through and he can come over and see her. I just hope he sees her decline is part of the dementia and doesn't start thinking she'd be better if she somewhere else.
In other news we appear to have sold our house again, but have been pipped at the post for the one we wanted where we want to move to. My husband is up looking after his mum at the moment, so very tricky to actually come up with a plan between us, as every time I phone there seems to be some sort of MiL emergency going on.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,494
0
South East
Good news about your house . Hope you find a new suitable place soon . It may upset brother but you did the natural thing of sending him a copy . Sorry to hear lots of issues with Mil.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,918
0
Yorkshire
The surprise is bit bittersweet isn't it, lovely idea and nice picture but also a bit of a reminder of the difference 🤗
Great news about house sale hope you and hubby can find somewhere lovely soon. It may be fate and somewhere much better is waiting for you and hubby 🤞
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,912
0
Mum's favourite carer phoned this evening to say her teeth have been found and she's wearing them. Yippee that is such good news, though I suspect if i could have gone in and searched I'd have found them sooner. Also the manager of the home emailed today to say he's organised a zoom meeting tomorrow to explain the latest plans about visiting. Let's hope I can see mum before Christmas.
My husband is now home after his visit to his mum. He came back via where we intend to move to where he might have bought a house. We've put in an offer and are waiting to hear back. It's very unlike him to do anything quite so rash, but i agree from his video it looks pretty much what we were after.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,494
0
South East
Great news about Mums teeth and I too hope you secure the new home 👍 Fingers crossed for more good news via zoom meeting tom .
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
6,087
0
Chester
Not been managing to post for a bit. Back on a train to work so can post.

Pleased your mum's teeth have turned up. When my mum was first in her flat her hearing aids kept disappearing. I'd spend a couple of hours looking and not find them and then they'd turn up the next week.

I'm sorry your brother was upset by the card. My mum had a physical decline in appearance just before her crisis which at the time I put down to old age but I now realise was dementia. She'd always looked young for her age and suddenly didn't.

Really pleased to hear you have hopefully found a property. Moving is so stressful and emotional.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,112
0
Bedford
I am pleased to hear that you have managed to find another buyer for your house and I hope the offer your husband rashly put in on another house has been accepted.
I am glad to hear that your Mum now has her teeth back, maybe time to have another photo! And that your brother has improved a little more. Did you get a successful outcome regarding visiting at your Mum’s CH following the zoom call?
It would be good for you to at least have a visit before Christmas
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,912
0
There was an email from the care home manager yesterday that unlined the points from the zoom meeting. The manager is a great guy but I find his way of talking hard to follow so I didn't quite get the ins and outs of what he said, so I emailed him to ask for the new guidelines in writing, and I'm glad he did it. The meeting got a little bad tempered as was understandable when visiting has been so restricted since March, but on the whole it was useful. The home hope to have rapid testing available from the 18th, and priority will be given to people who haven't been able to have window visits, so I hope I'm one of those. I'll phone early next week and see if I can book something for Christmas week.
The 'sleeping cat' toy I've bought for mum as part of her presents arrived yesterday. Not sure if mum will like it or not, but I find it so hard to think of things for her now. I will also send in some chocolates and flowers, and those I know she will like.
Our offer on the house was accepted, and I was really pleased that the pictures on Rightmove and the estate agents details confirmed what I'd seen on the video. We're trying not to get too excited but failing
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
16,131
0
South coast
Lots of positive things there @Sarasa

Hope the move goes well, although Im sure it will be stressful (it always is!)
It would be lovely to see your mum
xx
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,112
0
Bedford
I am glad to hear that you have clarity on the visiting and hopefully you will get some priority on the visiting. My Mum liked her ‘little’ dog and so hopefully your Mum will like her cat too. I am really struggling to think what to send her in for Christmas. I have got some nice shower gels which I am hoping can be used when the Carers can persuade her to shower. I am thinking of a new cardi as the black one she has is missing a button and perhaps I can get that one removed afterwards. It just seems a little silly when I have a large suitcase here of her clothes that are all in good condition.
Fingers crossed that all begins to go smoothly with the house move. A new location to explore more and a new start at such in the new year would be exciting.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,918
0
Yorkshire
Hope you get your christmas visit @Sarasa 🤞 fingers crossed for you, you should definitely be high on the list for first visits. Good luck on the house move too 🍀
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,912
0
I have a visit booked for Monday. Half an hour to be tested and then half an hour with mum. I'll be able to get close enough to hear what she's saying which is good. The home have lots of instructions around the visits to ensure the test is accurate and the residents stay safe. I won't be allowed in the home till the test results are known. Those that drive can wait in their cars, but I'll be walking so I'll go for a wander in the park across the road while I wait. I've bought some chocolates to go with the cat and have some Christmassy flowers going in too. I hope my brother remembers to send her something.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,918
0
Yorkshire
Hope your visit goes well and the weather is nice while you're waiting for test results in the park. So glad you have finally got a visit option with your mum that can work better for you both x
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,912
0
Just back from the care home. As we don't have a car I walked there to make sure I was as safe as possible. I was about five minutes away when the home phoned to say the visit had been cancelled. As I had mum's presents I carried on to the home to find out why. Two reasons, firstly, all Lateral flow visits are cancelled as we're in Tier 4 though pod visits can still go ahead. The second reason reason is that mum was up all night and was asleep and they understandably didn't want to get her up. Chatting to the activities co-ordinator mum seems to still be rather unsettled and feisty, and I doubt that that is going to change.
Oh well at least I got a good five mile walk out of it, and I have booked to visit next week instead.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,918
0
Yorkshire
oh thats such a shame @Sarasa 🤗 after all this time with no visits thats such a blow, blooming covid strikes again arrggghhh. Sorry to hear you mum is unsettled and feisty too. Will next weeks visit be a pod one? I know they don't work great for you and your mum so I hope it goes ok🤞🤗🤗🤗🤗